Feeling very low , constant anxiety for about a week , but doing ok and im sleeping fine
Learned that i have something called emotional contagion , meaning my mental health can be very affected by what i read and hear easily more than others, meaning that emotions of others can be contagious to me sometimes like the flu , which is why i get triggered easily , still trying to recover from a post i read , it involved self harm in many ways but one way really triggered me because it involved my fear of heights ..
Im not suicidal but i kept getting these thoughts and ideas about hurting myself , i keep proving to myself that i can control my body and mind and these are just thoughts but the anxiety and irrational fear of me becoming unable to control my body and doing something to harm myself is really getting to me ..
My first therapy appointment is in a few days so i cant wait to start this journey of recovery , as i know that life is good and i want to enjoy it , i never feel like my life is bad regardless of how much im struggling which is why im starting to panic due to the fact that im getting this one specific suicidal ideatation , of my jumping of high spaces , i know i have a phobia of heights but its weird because why am i scared of something if i know 100% i wont do it ...its scary and i worry about me losing control
Again i know this sounds really weird but why am i so sensitive to the things i read on other posts and start experiencing the things i read , im so vulnrable and now i know the explanation (emotional contagion) but i dont really know how to start healing and forget about these thoughts
Am i becoming suicidal even though im not depressed and im not at rock bottom , im doing ok in life , or is this in my head , or is this because of the acne meds im taking (side effects included suicidal ideatation and psychological problems that are very rare to happen but possible )