Hanging in there (might be a trigger)

[Kevin160]

Feeling very low , constant anxiety for about a week , but doing ok and im sleeping fine

Learned that i have something called emotional contagion , meaning my mental health can be very affected by what i read and hear easily more than others, meaning that emotions of others can be contagious to me sometimes like the flu , which is why i get triggered easily , still trying to recover from a post i read , it involved self harm in many ways but one way really triggered me because it involved my fear of heights ..

Im not suicidal but i kept getting these thoughts and ideas about hurting myself , i keep proving to myself that i can control my body and mind and these are just thoughts but the anxiety and irrational fear of me becoming unable to control my body and doing something to harm myself is really getting to me ..

My first therapy appointment is in a few days so i cant wait to start this journey of recovery , as i know that life is good and i want to enjoy it , i never feel like my life is bad regardless of how much im struggling which is why im starting to panic due to the fact that im getting this one specific suicidal ideatation , of my jumping of high spaces , i know i have a phobia of heights but its weird because why am i scared of something if i know 100% i wont do it ...its scary and i worry about me losing control

Again i know this sounds really weird but why am i so sensitive to the things i read on other posts and start experiencing the things i read , im so vulnrable and now i know the explanation (emotional contagion) but i dont really know how to start healing and forget about these thoughts

Am i becoming suicidal even though im not depressed and im not at rock bottom , im doing ok in life , or is this in my head , or is this because of the acne meds im taking (side effects included suicidal ideatation and psychological problems that are very rare to happen but possible )

[newbie1956]

Hi Kevin,

You are teaching me so much !

I've experienced many of the things you've mentioned but never knew there was a word for what we experience. It's just another human condition

Seems there are many who take the "feelings" in stride while we who are more sensitive tend to worry about "why" we feel as we do.

This link was helpful to me...and remember it's not only you

6seconds.org/2018/04/05/spr...

[Kevin160 in reply to newbie1956]

Yeah sometimes pople like us who already suffer from mental dosturbances are more exposed and vulnrable to more worry and more nxiety in addition to depression etc..

But in general the emotions of those around us tend to affect us , but i my case i tend to experience it more intensely which i really scary and annoying , im learning more and ore to avoid them and learn how to cope knowing that its all based on the environment i wont develop the same problems its just the overthinking , its just really difficult sometimes when the things are too scary and triggering

[Kevin160 in reply to newbie1956]

I am so thankful to have people like you supporting me its very kind , im going to check this article ❤️

[newbie1956 in reply to Kevin160]

It's good to know we're not alone, Kevin...and our greatest help still comes from above <3

[Hidden]

When you go for your appointment, make a list of your fears and concerns this will help you get more out of your appointment.

Hobbies help the mood and can distract negative feelings and expectations it is important you can move yourself on. Some people like Sports, swimming can lift the mood as It increases various drugs in the brain and you will become more positive as it will lift the mood.

Remember your Doctor can help you lift your mood, however it all falls back on the patient to help themselves with various techniques you will learn to move on

BOB

[Kevin160 in reply to Hidden]

Yes i agree 100% , thats why i usually get more anxiety and feel worse at winter break and sometimes in the summer , because i dont have any responsibilities like university or work etc..

But i am trying to fine more things to do , distract myself , exercise sometime , play instrument or do anything , go out with friends , but sometimes friends are busy and i dont have motivation to do much , i will inform my therapist in a few days about my whole backstory all the way up to those new scary ideas im getting about hurting myself eventhough i dont feel any need or urge to do it , i just want to get rid of the scary thoughts because i wory about myself and worry about feeling like this and what it might lead to in the future

but i will try to engage in more activities thank you for the advice ❤️❤️

[Hidden]

I take time off when I'm not in a good place and the site gets triggering, you should too, sometimes a step back can help

[Kevin160 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah i stopped reading other posts for a while , because this last post really screwed me up , i mean my mind is tricking me into feeling the exact same way and i have been panicking this whole week

[Hidden in reply to Kevin160]

Yeah I know it happened to me too, so I try not to read that many and if I see a word that might trigger me I make a run for it

[Hidden in reply to Kevin160]

You have to take care if yourself

[Kevin160 in reply to Hidden]

thank you so much for the advice ❤️