Feeling better but marriage problems

[Sober2007]

Hi everyone, I just need to share some about what's going on at home. Not sure if anyone else has had similar experiences. Here goes. Before seeking help or ever coming to this site, I was a mess. This winter everything came to a head and I could hardly communicate or be of any help to my wife of 14 years. It wasn't that I didn't want to help, I just felt numb and, for lack of a better word, blank inside. I almost never expressed myself, didn't even know how, and when she would share things with me I felt overwhelmed and incapable of responding with much other than an "uh-huh" or "OK." It was terribly frustrating for her, we tried some marriage counseling that didn't work out (she stormed out of our final session), and she just seemed to get angrier at me with each passing day. I continued to spiral downward, eventually recognizing I was deeply depressed. I didn't even recognize the anxiety component yet. I began to see my own therapist and started seeking solutions. At the same time that was happening, my wife's Mom died. I was able to rouse myself enough to be at the hospital during her final days (which my wife said she appreciated), and despite the way I was feeling we made it through the funeral alright. But then things really fell apart. Any time I wasn't at work, I didn't want to do anything other than lay on the couch. I was lost in rumination, a term I didn't even know at the time. I had a sense of being useless, but at the same time it felt like I could barely survive each day. I had no real coping skills. Again, I hadn't learned much about my anxiety and depression at that point, and I was feeling generally hopeless. So one day, about a week after her Mom's funeral, my wife packed up and moved to her Mom's house saying that she had a lot to do and would be gone for awhile. Now it is true that she is the executor, so she does have responsibilities, but at the same time she has not returned home for several months now and barely communicates with me other than brief text messages from time to time. What I have done in the meantime is focus on learning everything I can about anxiety and depression, putting into practice things that help me feel better. Being active on this site is one of those things, and I have learned a lot here. At the same time, I really have no idea where our marriage is heading. Part of me misses her, and part of me is relieved to have time to work on my own health. So that's where things are, and I just keep taking it day by day. It's all I know how to do. Thanks for listening, and if anyone has any helpful advice for me please let me know.

[Starrlight]

Hi I don’t know what to say but I hear you and I’ll keep listening. ❤️

[Sober2007 in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you

[Starrlight in reply to Sober2007]

No problem. I think it’s very beneficial to write it all out.