From hopeful to hopeless

[asanders1203]

I have BPD and anxiety so I’m use to mood swings, I haven’t done anything reckless or impulsive in a while . The mood swings are still there and they are very frustrating. last week I was feeling very motivated and happy, and felt like I was moving in the right direction.. but now I’m feeling a little depressed and just want to sleep and feel like I’m never gonna get better .. I’m on disability for depression etc . But I don’t wanna be on disability the rest of my life I wanna own my own business but the way that my moods fluctuate that seems impossible some days ..

anybody else struggle with this or overcome it ? How do you get through it ?

[Kat63]

If you’re on disability, are you also getting therapy and/or meds?

I think running your own business might actually be better for you than working for somebody else - once you get your life set up so that you’re managing your mental health issues. Or - perhaps you could do some kind of work from home. In that case, you’d be working for somebody, but you wouldn’t have the stress of commuting, going to an office, having a hectic office atmosphere, etc.

I’ve always wished that work was just about WORK - just do the assigned task correctly and by the deadline. Not having to worry about what I’m going to wear, the traffic, office politics, etc. The actual work is the least annoying part of work.

[asanders1203 in reply to Kat63]

I go to therapy once a week , I’m not currently on any meds , I didn’t like the way they made me feel .

I think it will too . I actually graduate this weekend with a BFA in Graphic design and it’s a very flexible field it’s just I have to get myself together mentally so I can successfully work with clients, I also have pretty bad social anxiety so that doesn’t help lol .. but i guess I have to take it one day at a time . Right now the thought of getting out into the working world scares the crap out of me , I haven’t been able to hold a job down since I was in high school.

[Feathe in reply to asanders1203]

Of you are not on other meds, how about trying some herbs like ayrveda? They don t have side effects and can alleviate stress and anxiety. You would need advice of ayrvedist herbalist. And meditation helps a lot of done on a daily basis

[froggymom88]

My son has BPD so I know the ups and downs can be most alarming. Please stay connected to people you love when you are on the down spiral. Talk to friends and family and do things that give you peace ( walk, music). Say positive things as often as you can get yourself to do it. You are a wonderful creation. Keep up the struggle( we all have them). Things change all the time and will be better again. I'm rooting for you.