I just want to end it: I feel like a... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I just want to end it

littleorange8 profile image
21 Replies

I feel like a huge disappointment. I’ve always thought that I’d be successful.

I graduated from a science undergrad degree thinking of becoming a doctor. My marks were too low. I went into nursing as a second degree. I just finished my final exam and feel like I may have failed it - meaning I would need to repeat the year.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse today. My boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago and he told me he’s at the club tonight to meet girls - I have now blocked him.

I feel like a huge disappointment to my parents. They thought I was going into medical school, and I’m not. Now, I may have failed nursing and have to repeat the year (and waste more money).

I thought I’d be successful and happy. I’m already 23 and I feel like a failure. I just want to disappear.

My nursing exam results come next week and I’m very worried. If I failed, I don’t know how to explain to my parents that I need to repeat the year.

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littleorange8 profile image
littleorange8
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21 Replies

Nothing comes easy. A lot of people including myself would see obstacles as dead ends, but really they’re inevitable growing pains and it’s up to YOU to navigate them. You can do it, and don’t worry about your ex. If he told you that, he’s very insecure and not worth having.

Sunnidayz1 profile image
Sunnidayz1

I think you are being a little too hard on yourself. I understand that you have certain expectations and thats great but putting yourself down will just hurt you. I understand that you're frustrated and sad. Thats perfectly normal. Life is filled with ups and downs. It's just how it works. You're only 23. Breathe. Relax.

So what if you dont become a doctor? There are so many professions out there you can land. I hope u did well on the nursing exam but if you didnt then that may be a sign to evaluate things...what it is you are interested in and just go for it.

It doesnt matter how long it takes you to the finish line, what matters is that you actually can get there.

XxSunni

littleorange8 profile image
littleorange8 in reply toSunnidayz1

thank you for taking the time to give such a wonderful reply. can i message you?

Sunnidayz1 profile image
Sunnidayz1 in reply tolittleorange8

You're welcome. Yes!

I'm also 23 and am in college. I'm taking 18 credit hours, and if I'm being honest, I usually make all A's. But...there is this one class that I have an A in at the moment, however, I turned in the digital copy of my final paper for that class in late. I had to turn in a hard copy and a digital copy. I turned in the hard copy on time, but I totally forgot about turning in the digital copy, which results in only earning half credit for the paper. Now I'm waiting to see where my grade stands at after this paper gets graded. It's stupid how just one mistake can put you on edge, or even over the edge. College is the only thing I've been successful at lately, so it bums me out.

littleorange8 profile image
littleorange8 in reply to

same. university is the one thing i feel like i can “brag” about. i don’t know what else to be confident about if i fail this..

in reply tolittleorange8

I know what you mean. When my family occasionally sees me, the first thing they ask about is how school is going. I love school, because I know how to be successful at it...but then I'll graduate and have to get a career. I think my biggest obstacle is that people tend to not care or like me much, so, how am I supposed to have a career when I'm not very favorable? Sucks.

Anyways, I hope you pull through with your struggles. If you fail, do you have any ideas for backup plans?

littleorange8 profile image
littleorange8 in reply to

YES! you’re basically my mirror image 😂 same with this exam too - im doing fine in all courses but failing this 1 exam can damage the whole year!

my backup plan is repeating the year 🙁

in reply tolittleorange8

Wow, we are kinda in the same boat 😂. If I fail that one class, I may have to move my internship to next summer instead of next spring, which I'll do if I have to, but...damn, just more time, more money, and a longer wait.

littleorange8 profile image
littleorange8 in reply to

the worst is this is my second degree. so i feel like i’m just a failure PLUS a money-eater for my parents who pay for tuition

in reply tolittleorange8

Step back a sec though, think about how awesome it is that you haven't accomplished just one degree, but you went on further and aimed to hold another degree. I think that's awesome, if I may say so, because I'm the same age as you and am still just trying to earn my first degree. So, yeah, that's awesome lol

littleorange8 profile image
littleorange8 in reply to

it’s not like that at all! i feel like my first degree is always a constant reminder of how i wasted 4 years on a manipulative guy, and got low grades because i wasn’t strong enough to leave him, and ultimately not being to apply for med school (my dream) because of the low grades.

i’d rather be starting my degree late, like you, rather than waste it like i have.

in reply tolittleorange8

Oh, well yeah, fair enough. At least you recognize your mistake, because if you didn't, you could be in an even worse situation.

littleorange8 profile image
littleorange8 in reply to

grass is always greener ;)

explorerPHX profile image
explorerPHX

i can completely relate to what you are talking about. i also have 2 degrees. i also feel like a failure. i envisioned this happy and successful life for myself ... i played by the rules, did what i was supposed to do and i got nothing to show for it. i feel like such a huge failure. i am disappointed in myself ... i blame myself for where i am in life, the many mistakes i've made that have led me to be stuck where i am now.

littleorange8 profile image
littleorange8 in reply toexplorerPHX

message me if you ever need to talk :)

explorerPHX profile image
explorerPHX in reply tolittleorange8

same goes for you. message me if you ever need to talk.

TheBooG profile image
TheBooG

My 20s were the hardest years of my life, stay positive and try to stay strong with what you believe

Your career path is not all that makes you who you are nor determines your self wealth. You need to look at your life as a journey. It will have bumps and rocks in it. This is just a bump. You are young. You have so much to offer the world.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Hi being successful at life is nothing about material things or getting a degree, though this is disappointing if you don't manage it. It is about being the best version of yourself you can be and loving and living your life. x

IHadADog profile image
IHadADog

I don't know if this will help or not, LittleOrange8. You're 23. I'm 57. I've failed at all kinds of things (some fairly recently). But I've also succeeded. Let's suppose you did fail the final exam and have to take a year again. The money part sucks. But you have time, you're young. Maybe you'll absorb the information in a different way the second time, maybe in a way that'll make you a better nurse (if that's what you wind up being). Maybe you'll do something different. You have time. Time to make mistakes, time to change your mind, time to see where life takes you. (I've "failed" at some things that might have made my life better if I'd succeeded. But I don't regret that because the only life I know is the one I've had.)

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