I just want to be alright

[Justsomedude]

I just want to be able to enjoy life like I see a lot of people do. I don’t understand why I can’t. It’s never good enough. I’ve put my family through hell trying to get high enough to be where “normal” people are and that’s how I viewed them - being higher than I. More equipped to be successful, smarter, capable of raising kids and running businesses or whatever. I’ve never put myself in the same level, I don’t think. Maybe I have, I don’t know. But one thing is for sure: doing what I’m doing is not working. I’m different. I know that. It’s hard for me to be satisfied with day to day life. I always feel like something is missing. Rant over, man. I could go on and on, but I just don’t see any reason to. Hope y’all are doing alright.

[brettedwardcory]

I hear your struggle brother. Its hard. Its such a battle. Ive been in some dark places. It's difficult to make sense of the self harm and torment that comes with depression/anxiety/ and other mental afflictions. I know people who have been through the fire like we have. People with similar circumstances who came out the other side in triumph. I am just starting to come out of the darkness and am starting to get traction.

There is Good.

There is a life where you have a healthy family.

There is freedom.

There is prosperity.

You WILL prove your family wrong. You have more abilities than you can possibly imagine.

Did you know that the chances of you being borne are 1 in 400 trillion?

Youre not an accident. You were borne out of love and have the capacity to love. Your a divine human. There is a plan laid out for your life by something greater!

[Justsomedude in reply to brettedwardcory]

I used to believe that, man. I don’t mean to throw a pity party, but I just don’t see how this can change. It looks like a downward spiral to me and I don’t even know how to change it. I don’t if I could even if I wanted to. It’s bad, man.

[JAYnLA in reply to Justsomedude]

Technically, it will change as your brain changes - which happens all the time, slowly but surely. Thinking that you can know that your future is going to be dark is a symptom, not a fact. It is a fact that neuroplasticity is a real thing and that we can heal. People heal and you are people. Find the trust again in the miracle that is your mind and body. If you can't find it, just be willing to look for it even though you feel like hell. You are not alone in this struggle. If you need a pity party, put on a hat and have it. If I heard anyone who's been through this saying that they were never self pitying I'd know I was talking to a liar.

[brettedwardcory in reply to Justsomedude]

It can appear in the moment that this will never change. But there are a set of actions that will change your state, brain, body, and future. (JAYnLA is absolutely correct) I understand the situation seems hopeless. Ive been there man! Take an intentional move forward. Make a disicion that you will defeat this. Make a move forward everyday. A direction that is rooted in self-care and love for your future kids/wife. We will all be here to support you. And damn, how satisfying will it be if in a year, 2 years, you had a beautiful girlfriend/wife and a good career in your back pocket. How satisfying would it be to see your family suprised by the incredible depths you skyrocked from. Prayers to you brother.

Quotes:

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” – Dale Carnegie

“You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” – Timber Hawkeye

“You are strong when you know your weaknesses. You are beautiful when you appreciate your flaws. You are wise when you learn from your mistakes.” – unknown

“Live to inspire, and one day people will say, because of you, I didn’t give up” – unknown

[hypercat54]

And I bet most these 'successful people' are stressed out of their skins! It's very difficult to have a good job, mortgage, family etc. without feeling pressure as well as others rely on you. You say normal day to day life makes you restless so if you had those things would it cure your restlessness? Maybe you were meant to travel the world, write a best selling book etc.

It's a mugs game to compare yourself with others as it always leads to disatisfaction and unhappiness. Once you realise you are not different to everyone else then you will be happier. It's your mindset which needs to change and you need to accept yourself the way you are. x

[lillyofthevalley37]

You should stop comparing yourself to others

You look at people and think they have a better life than you and are a better person than you then you feel crap in comparison

You should look at others and if they seem like they have a great life and are a better person than you you should change your attitude and think good luck to you and wish them well you may feel inadequate still but you will also feel like you are a better person and you will be a better person because of the change in your attitude - try it and see

The Ten Comandments cover this - the one that says Thou shalt not covert thy neighbours stuff

Life is a long game and everything can change those people who look like they have it all can end up with much less later on and vice versa

Be humble and trust God only He knows the truth behind the shiny happy people seemingly having all the fun

[knittingninja]

In my experience, comparing myself to others has only caused me pain. I know that tired feeling with being in a rut. Is there anything you can change? Just one little change can make a difference in how your day goes. I have experienced symptoms of depression/anxiety long-term and do find myself wondering when I'll be satisfied with day-to-day life. I don't know the answer to that, but I hope you find it and soon.

[Cms817878]

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I have a hard time in my own ways. here if you need to talk.