Hey folks!
I tried to post this before but my connection was bad.
So today is a bit better. I’m still weaning off Zoloft and as I do it, the more I feel like myself. I’m at 12.5mg, and I go to every other day starting .. Sunday. I can still def tell I’m on something but I feel less “weird”. It still makes my head feel a bit funny, almost like thoughts are suppressed or I’m spacing out or something. But I’m having happier thoughts.. feeling MOTIVATED. I’m pretty sure I can attribute this to therapy, maybe to the meds, to meditation, to my boyfriend, to you guys. ❤️
The disassociation I get from my anxiety does really scare me. I get it more on Zoloft. Understanding what it is does help!! My fear of developing or having schizophrenia or psychosis is still there, but I’m doing everything I can to squash this last bit of health anxiety. Two psychiatrists, and two psychotherapists said I’m fine. I don’t even fit many of the symptoms but, hypochondria generally wins! I saw other people post this — it’s like you’re waiting for hallucinations to happen. I know it’s very unlikely I have it since nobody in my fam does and I’m 29, but it’s still scary.
I actually had a funny moment last night. I was with my boyfriend and heard the sound of water. He didn’t. I went into panic that another “symptom” was coming up. Later, I look around the room.. the cat had pissed all over the floor 😂 Man.
I saw a pile of clothes last night and the shape freaked me into thinking it was a person for a sec. I jumped!! I asked my bf if I was nuts and he was like “no, when you moved the cat tree, I thought it was a person”. I think I’m just hyperfocusing.. lol
I’m still taking time off of work. I’m still afraid of going back because I associate it with my stress. I’m thinking of moving from NYC to Boston but we’ll see. No matter where I go, my anxiety will be there right now. But being close to my boyfriend, and knowing family is near, has been a godsend.
I’m really happy to be making friends on here. My therapist said it’s helpful to help others, but also to talk to people not like me (meaning, no anxiety). I find myself asking my bf, “How do you feel when you get a pain or sensation? Does it scare you?” Others without hypochondria feel no fear. My goal is to conquer this one and for all so it NEVER returns. What I’ve learned from others is hypochondria comes back multiple times or is always there. My last episode was in 2005. This one is coming to a close!
I went out last night! I had a bit of anxiety but it honestly felt good to feel like my normal self, kinda. My boyfriend got his purple belt with jiu jitsu!! I used to be sad watching people do what they love cuz it made me realize how crippling anxiety is. But now I feel motivated. I will beat this.
Now I’m going to shower. I’m going to ignore how Zoloft makes my head feel. I’m gonna read a book. I’m gonna clean. Baby steps.
Hypochondria
health anxiety is back 
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Thoughts on Zoloft for anxiety?
Health Anxiety- Help! 
