no health insurance no job no motivation

[Jvane18]

i have been struggeling with depression and having no drive for a long time and was unemployed after a toxic job.

I managed to get a new one but had to quit after a month because they werent transparent about many things. i was motivated that when quit I will go to therapy and do sports and find a job that I am comfortable with. Now I found out I have to wait for a document from the company to be send to my unemployment office before receiving benefits and apparently this takes up to 4 months. Meanwhile I have no health insurance and no income.

1 month later and still no insurance. I feel so defeated. I wanted to use this time to get better but now I am just in a constant state of stress and havent seen any friends or anyone because I’m too scared to leave the apartment without insurance. Instead of focusing on jobs I want I have frantically been applying to any and all random jobs all day as I need medical insurance to get some health issues looked at, but I havent found one yet either. I’m just so sad and exhausted. Nothing gets better I think I’m at my lowest and it just keeps getting worse.

Now I’m looking at jobs starting in September/october but my mental health is so bad I am afraid i will not be able to handle any job. I also dont like my home country and want to move abroad again because I dont vibe with the people here and lost many friends due to my depression but I at the same time dont want to be away from my family because I dont have much family left and I am so incredibly scared of losing them it gives me anxiety attacks the thought of being alone without any living relatives all alone.

i dont know what to do. I feel so lost, stressed anxious and just do heavy

[HealingYogini]

I had a time like this. I left my job (in a city where I had no family or close friends) because it was affecting my mental health (daily panic attacks) and was jobless and without insurance for some time. You will get thru this. I know you wanted to do sports and therapy and feel unable, but there are still things you can do to help your mental health. Being here is a good step. I’m not sure if you’ve had therapy before, but there are a lot of great tips on this site. If you need some now…walk (outside if possible and take in the sites, sounds, and smells), read on this site or books (one of my favorites is The Wise Heart), think of something really enjoyable (such as watching funny bloopers or cute animals or singing and dancing), and try not to isolate and reach out to family and friends, even if you just pick up the phone. This is a hard time, but it will pass. Sending you good vibes.

[Jvane18 in reply to HealingYogini]

thank you for taking the time to respond. actually really helped calm down a bit thanks.

[HealingYogini in reply to Jvane18]

You are very welcome and I’m so happy to hear that.

[Jvane18 in reply to HealingYogini]

is the wise heart by Jack Kornfield?

[HealingYogini in reply to Jvane18]

Yes, it is 🙂

[Jvane18 in reply to HealingYogini]

thank you

[Marysblue]

That is a lot to worry about. Stress makes problem bigger. Try and i know its hard to do what you can to support yourself. You are enough and you have the solutions.

[Jvane18 in reply to Marysblue]

thank you