Social event panic

[Kevin160]

Im usually ok during social events , i attended a big wedding just a month before my whole anxiety triggers and panic disorder began ..

Today was a very big school dinner in this big restaurant thats an hour drive away from my house aka comfort place ...on my way there , my heart started sinking and my pulse was very high , i started deep breathing but still felt severe heart palpitations that were worse than i ever had , they were a mix of excitement and panic , like whenever i thought of the event i would feel my heart skips a beat and sinks , it became painful eventually ...anyway the event started and i felt better although there was a couple times i had heart palpitations , dinner started and i think i got food poisoning because i started vomiting a couple hours later and feeling very nauseous..,in the middle of the event in the bathroom

Then i started getting this horrible derealization feeling and i was in this very big crowded restaurant and an hour away from home and i kept a bit of my composure and then ordered and uber that took 25 minutes because of traffic, but i started feeling kees derealized no longer like im in a dream an unconcious , and felt more aware and concious , i also felt less nauseous and more calm , however my heart felt like it waspressed tightly and my chest felt like there is a huge rock over it , i never felt this sinking feeling in my heart before , and the nausea comes and goes , and i dont have any pain in my left hand , bp and pulse are fine now , but i just keep getting these severe heart palpitations and neck pain so i dont know , like i know anxiety doesnt kill but each time i say that i get a worse attack than beforw, like this attack was so terrible i gravved my chest and felt like im going to faint, my heart mept getting these continuous flutters that were more severe and frequent than ever ....

Im scared to sleep a bit ..someone reassure me im fine , because i just got a very severe attack and worried im having a cardiac episode because the palpitations and chest pain is present and im nauseous , and im just feeling very sick in general a bit better than before but im still worried

[brokenlight]

That sounds awful.

Maybe go in & checked out by a doctor if you can...

I’m sorry for your pain & suffering.

[Agora1]

Hi Kevin, only because I have known you for a while can I say that you are okay.

You are safe. Nothing will happen to you. 11 days ago your mom lost her cousin

un-expectantly, your English class talks about heart attacks. Your over sensitized

nervous system is in full gear. Today, your school dinner being an hour away from

your home (your comfort zone) brought about the symptoms you were feeling.

Your mind was trying to let you belief that anything and everything might happen

to you being so far away from home and so your body followed those suggestions.

While you wrote several times about your discomfort and fear, you always mentioned

being far away from home along with a big crowded restaurant and derealization.

The stimulus of the whole event, space suchness and fear growing, I admire you for

going and keeping your composure as long as you did. That was a wise decision

to call an Uber to get you home.

You're right in that anxiety won't kill you but the fear in our mind feels like we

die a thousand deaths each time. The best thing you can do now is get a good

night's rest. You need to regenerate both your mind and your body. You are not

your mom's cousin...You are a young healthy 18y.o. young man who needs his sleep.

You are safe Kevin. I hope by now you have settled down for the night. You did good

today. Expect little slip backs every so often. You can handle it now as you showed

yourself today. I'm proud of you as ever. In my book you won. xx

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

♥️♥️♥️♥️ thank you so much agora ...i appreciate your help so much ..

I just felt disappointed in myself for being so anxious over something that is had done before many times...but after i started having anxiety everything became so much harder..and requires thoughts and planning and calming myself down ..

Im happy that i only ordered an uber after everyone started leaving and im happy i didnt panic as much after I arrived...but the severe anxiety before i arrived was a first because i never had this severe heart palpitations...they were just one after another and i felt like i couldnt breath..if my symptoms would remain the same i wouldnt feel like im dying but they are always becoming worse

I just woke up .. slept well feeling mucu better ..but just as i woke up im feeling afraid and worried over nothing

[Agora1 in reply to Kevin160]

Good Morning Kevin. I'm glad you got a good night's sleep. It is quite normal to feel anxious when waking up especially after having experienced a difficult day before.

But everything is okay. You are safe. It is just the subconscious mind rehashing yesterday. It's over, it's in the past. It can't hurt you. Today is a new day filled with

promise. It's the "present", it's a "gift". You Kevin, can chart out the day to be fulfilling

or filled with fear. Your choice. Don't allow memories of yesterday cloud your

positivity. Go for it....today is yours xx

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you , i do realize that its in the past , and im trying to convince myself that .. it doesnt always work ..i find myself disappointed if i stopped doing as well .or get a setback..because i know that the things that bother me are very simple and litteraly everyone i know doesnt find it hard and they would not support me and make me feel oversensitive and weak ...you wouldnt believe some of the insults i recieve especially from my family if i ever complain about something that sounds simple to them but is major for me because anxiety is too severe

[Agora1 in reply to Kevin160]

Kevin, don't beat yourself down over this. I am in no better position than you

when it comes to family members not supporting me and putting me down.

The only difference is I've learned that I cannot control what they say or think

about anxiety. That it is up to me to believe in myself and all I've accomplished.

It makes no difference in the end, what others may believe about us. We didn't

ask for an over sensitized nervous system just as many people didn't ask for

Cancer or other diseases. Just because Anxiety is a Mind Disorder doesn't

make it any less real. Stay strong, x

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much..i feel like i dojt give you as much appreciation qnd show you how much your words ever helped me from coming here until now..i owe you alot

Yes you're definitely right

But i just find my brain sooooo busy with thoughts ..a moment i remember to accept anxiety .. one moment i remember i think it would kill me ..one moment im worrying about the future.. one moment i remember i have to go through life with its unpredictable events ...and remember all the past and worry about the future ...and i wish i was like before..i would get nervous but i would realize that nothing is worth my fear and me continuing to damage my health and ruin my life with toxic thoughts...but now when i tell myself that everything will be alright i don't feel calmer ...i realize i will have to go through it regardless what i think but still i dont calm..like deep down i know im fine ..i know what i was capable of socially ... academically...etc..but school wise and socially wise now i just keep worrying about things i never were before ..and its constant ...so many thoughts that i cant catch a break..and most of these are unrealistic and based on things that arent logical but scary so i panic

[Agora1 in reply to Kevin160]

You owe me nothing Kevin...I've been through so much in my life

this is the least I could do in trying to help others going through the

same struggles. I have no doubts that one day, everything will fall

into place and you will be able to go on with your life. You will be

happy when you realize who you are and just what you are capable

of achieving. x

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

And yesterday I was so excited and nervous about meeting everyone that i couldn't calm down and felt my heart almost giving up from the intense pulse and palpitations..i just don't know sometimes I feel like im doing sooo well but im still having anxiety and no breaks

[Agora1 in reply to Kevin160]

Kevin, no more "I feel like I'm doing sooo well but"....That word "But" has such

a negative connotation. I usually say to myself "I feel as if I'm doing so well

and I WILL continue doing that" (I always add) "and you Anxiety cannot stop me."

"This is my life and I control it" xx

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

Yes i know ..im just not used to this , i used to be good at being social .. and i would get always nervous and excited but never to a point that i feel like fainting and my heart giving up and having this severe palpitations ..i felt soo dizzy and thought more than ever that im having a heart attack

Makes me scared about the next social event...or senior graduation

I mean i know i would get better and probably become stronger mentally but if i cant go through a dinner without almost fainting and feeling like im in a dream the derealization makes me feel so scared because i feel unconscious and everything seems blurry and it usually happens in situations like this

But if i cant get through that how will i get through graduation this ..college ...future events that are much more intenese than a dinner

[kvolm2016]

So sorry that this was such a rough experience for you. I agree with Agora that despite the feelings beforehand and even during the event, you still went, you still held onto your composure and you got through it. Instead of continuing to replay the negative after affects in your mind, focus your thoughts on the positive things you did to get to the event, get through the event and get yourself home. I'm not saying that this is the solution or that this is a mind over matter situation, I am just saying to give yourself the opportunity to see the victories/successes. And some people even find it helpful to keep a journal of the positives so you can go back to them next time you need to remind yourself that you can get through an event. Make sense?

[Kevin160 in reply to kvolm2016]

Yes it does make sense thank you ..i dp feel good about going and getting through it ...it was just disappointing for me because i panicked so hard over something that was so simple ...

[kvolm2016 in reply to Kevin160]

When I am feeling disappointed in myself I try to remind myself that disappointment is generally a result of my own expectations. So I try to ask myself if my expectation was a reasonable one. I also try to ask myself if my expectation was based on a comparison with others. For example your statement about panicking over something so simple. Were you panicking over something that is usually simple/easy for you? Or is it that you feel it should be simple because it is for others?

[Kevin160 in reply to kvolm2016]

You have a point its usually what i compare with others...but its only because i know that i used to be much calmer at some point and that i was able to handle stressful situations...and it feels bad when others dont even feel the slightest bit of worry or concern but for me its just about not panicking over anything

[kvolm2016 in reply to Kevin160]

Sorry for the delay in replying, I was out of town. But I definitely know from experience that comparison is not healthy because it leads us to all kinds of unhealthy thoughts, emotions, decisions. I recently read this article called Comparison is the Thief of Joy and it said "every story is unique, and your story, your life is yours. We can get caught up in comparing and contrasting and wondering why". Thought it was a good reminder for all of us! Here is the article if you want to read it bit.ly/2ZlaHRu