Worst day of 2019

[Kevin160]

Yesterday was the worst day in 2019 , which says so much considering this years sucked the most ..all of the anxiety, panic attacks, my mom’s cancer scares, family struggles , it wasnt compared to what happened yesterday

It all started at midnight , everything bad happened in litteraly 10 minutes, you remember how i used to say that what worsens my anxiety is that bad things happen all at once , well here is another example , my sister had a fight with a friend , and it got really bad imdont want to go into detail but it affected all of us , then another problem happened and my dad and brother started this huge fight with my mom , i just felt it all starting to fall apart and then the panic attack started, i just fekt this huge wave of dizziness , derealization , amd sickness, i was sick to my stomach , my bp was 142/80 , it has never rose in months ..which showed how big it allwent down , and my fear that things will worsen all over again like before ..my left arm started to hurt like never before , and my chest was so tight , i had not experienced a panic attack in so long, they were always waves of anxiety but not this severe ..i started trying ti lower my bp , go back to earth and stop this derealization and actually solve problems, i felt that things were just moving so fast , i thought things might probably worsen because my dad’s health worsened a bit because he is diabetic and after the fight he felt a bit sick ...i just really dont know what to do ..things are much better today but still , i have been through hell this year but this might really be the worst day , because this whole anxiety crap started late 2018, i just want to get through this month and focus on my results in about 3 weeks because that alone will probably cause a masssive panic attack and i have been wishing i would survive that day eventhough you might think its silly im just worried that i will get a heart attack or something from all the stress , and im worried results day will make my andiety that bad

[optimuscoolbeans]

Kevin this sounds so terribly hard for you. I have been having a bad week but not like you have been going through. I also haven’t had a panic attack. So I can’t say I know what you are going through. Hold tight. You will endure.

[Kevin160 in reply to optimuscoolbeans]

Its ok , all bad days are bad days , to me now im much better ..so its fine ..and i wouldnt wish a panic attack to anyone ❤️..i hope your week is better now

[Hidden]

You sure have been through a lot in a day, Kevin. I'm so proud of you for sharing your day, trying to lower your bp and reverse the derealization. What "tools" to you have in your "toolbox" that you can use to help lower your bp? For me it helps lower my bp when I take a walk outside in a safe place and focus on listening to the birds or naming the colors that I see. It also helps me to call a close friend who will just listen to me. I also have a thing on my fitbit watch that is like a game where it knows my bp, guides me to take deeper and deeper breaths, and I win the game if I lower it at least just a little. At night, aroma therapy and playing relaxing music helps.

It really sucks that my anxiety drives my bp sky high. I worry about having a heart attack too. I've ended up in the hospital twice with very high bp (192/124), pain in my left arm, and feeling like I was gonna throw up. Thankfully, after stress tests were done on my heart, they told me that my heart was fine both times. And they were able to bring my bp down.

I've since learned to manage my bp just a little better. Since I'm so prone to my anxiety driving my dp sky high, I've learned that I have to be proactive about my stress. That means that I have to go for walks even if I'm not stressed at the moment. Doing that somehow makes my body better able to handle stress when it comes. It's like I'm putting money in the bank for later when a stress emergency comes.

Again, thank you for sharing what you're going through. We're here for you in healthy ways.

[Kevin160 in reply to Hidden]

I totally understand, m mom had bp problems and so is my dad , im still 18 so it doesnt sky rocket alot when i get panic attacks, but i consider 150/100 still pretty high for me , my toolbox consists of a app called simplehabit, i heard about it here, it consists of recordings , exercises and techniques to help lower anxiety and panic attacks intensity and frequency, it helped alot, deep breathing exercises really help, to me any deep breathing exercise lowers my bp which is good , that is pretty much it, sometimes i take a walk and drink cold water , i try to close my eyes and accept my anxety by picturing the worst case and seeing if it is actually possible, ad just try to flow through anxiety not to resist it and panic too much, so even in a panic attack i try to sit and wait it out because even though i feel like im in hell, last few times were less frequent because i feel im confident enough to know that eventhough it is a terrible feeling it is not harmful , and at the end im safe regardless what my brain says, but in a panic attack its hard to realize

[Hidden]

Are you on meds? You’re not alone in this. Fear is such an enemy. Ignore the dark cloud focus on naming your fear “I feel scared” ... what are you afraid of “I’m afraid of xyz” is it reasonable to be this afraid of xyz ? Why not and why yes .. what am I doing about it? Do I have action plan do I have to wait ... waiting IS doing something about things sometime. Is my job to relax and live and wait and breathe? ... stuff like that

[Kevin160 in reply to Hidden]

I try my best to apply solutions and not just panic and worry for no reason, but im just a bit sensitve to fear ever since i developed this anxiety and panic attacks , it gets better at times but when it comes back im not really adjusted to it so it feels worse if that makes any sense , i try my best to apply deep breathing exercies, acceptance methods , calmness , it works most times wich is good but sometimes it is too overwhelming and too many things are happening at once like that day was ...however thank you so much for your feedback

[Hidden in reply to Kevin160]

I totally get that so it comes on strong and back to back. That’s when you walk away from people stressful shint when possible and tell your panic I know you’re just trying to remind me to clear my head & take it easy & get some exercise I got the message I’ll love myself .. surrender self soothe and only take care of actual important stuff for a bit.

Right now I only hang out by myself because I can’t handle people too much on my plate. I just go to the pool and talk to clerks I know and be around people not with them because overloaded too long because bad person keeps interfering with my social group that didn’t like fact I wouldn’t do what they want under stress so though I shouldn’t be the one to leave I do because I’m not strong enough to fight go through my circles feelings made every one uncomfortable but I left to save myself not for them. So just slow down because a lot of things aren’t important enough I’ve lost 60% of my hair past year & counting from severe stress and I locked down where I couldn’t move I’m still like that just trying slow small steps and taking mental steps to eradicate relationships and habits that aren’t helpful I’m surprised I’m alive from what I’ve pushed through past 3 years. Lesson is at all costs put yourself first when you’re stressed and be with those who pass the tried & true friends tests. I said I’d never end up like this again but really horrid stuff happened back to back & I can’t control other peoples feelings or thoughts but I can walk away.

[quitter333]

sounds like you would benefit fro just letting go of your family, limiting contacts, and only helpimg every now and then.

[Kevin160 in reply to quitter333]

Yes except im always needed to help, im always pushed to the middle of things , its hard for me to say i dont want to be a part of this .. plus im 18, i still live in the same house, i still need them in my life so that would be hard to do

[quitter333 in reply to Kevin160]

let. go.

they are grown ass people, they can manage themselves. period.

[Kevin160 in reply to quitter333]

I couldnt agree more , but again easier said than done , what i do is supposed to reduce my anxiety, stop all the fights and argurments , which happen on a regular basis