My mother doesn't understand my anxiety and depression

[Forensic]

I am currently in recovery from addiction and honestly, everyday is a struggle. My addiction began when I realized that when I did drugs it made me feel better. I'm having a hard time dealing with a mother that doesn't and honestly, doesn't care to understand how I feel on a daily basis. This leads to my mother believing that I'm lazy , that I have no ambition and believing that I don't want to take care of my children. I have to note that I'm not the only one who suffers from anxiety and depression in my family. My father my sister and my brother also suffer. We are all addicts in recovery. It just hurts that she is not supportive of what we go through everyday and chooses to put us down instead.

[Verite1230]

I am sorry to hear that you aren't getting the support you need from mom. My mother was really angry with me after my second suicide attempt, she just couldn't understand why I wanted to just stop. It's an effort for me to be there for my kids, and I try every day. Without my husband i couldn't do it at all. Some days i just want to stay in bed, curled up where i feel safe.

My psychiatrist increased me medication dosage, and i have to take sedatives to sleep at night.

I know it's hard but people are here to listen and understand.

[Agora1]

Forensic, we can't get someone to understand mental issues if they never had it themselves. They may love you but can't feel empathy towards others suffering with something they can't see except for it being a lazy trait. I know it hurts, but don't waste your energy in wishing for a turnabout. It's not going to happen.

Be proud of what you are doing to turn your life around. Give yourself credit. Don't allow the put downs to get to you. You need to stay strong as well as positive while going through recovery. Use the forum for support. We are here for you with no judgment.

Keep us updated on your progress. xx

[fauxartist]

yeah...depression is a family tradition I'm afraid....I do believe it's inherited by some. It goes back generations in my family. It's a disease just like addiction. You my friend are what is called 'dual diagnosis'....it means you, like myself, you are blessed with both the disease of depression and it's evil twin ...addiction. 1 in 3 people with addiction also suffer from depression. I have been in recovery from addiction for decades...I'm an old hippie and been there done that. I know what a monster it is and how I used to drink and drug myself to 'self-medicate', to try and keep the ghosts and demons of depression and in my case, abuse as well, at bay. And since alcohol is a depressant....it's an oxymoron to try and self medicate my depression with drinking. Drugs to are the same when your coming down, you get really down.

As far as explaining your dual diagnosis to your mother, good luck with that....it's one of the biggest problems for all of us....explaining it is like telling a Martian what ice cream tastes like....they just don't get it, and never will unless they have it too. So stop...you don't have to justify yourself to anyone...it's not your fault, your were born that way, it's a chemical deficiency in the brain, and there is no cure. Social stigma and ignorance is why we stay anonymous....knowledge is power, learn everything you can about this stuff.

The only thing you can do is manage your depression and addiction. If you read some of the posts on here and comments there are a lot of good ideas on how to live life with these diseases, and not let them label you or define you.

[Hidden]

I can understand ur feelings. ' cause my mom too ignores what i m going through.she thinks I'm wasting my time,have no interest in studies.

[rach1402]

It sounds like your mother could be the cause of your family's issues if everyone else is suffering and she's criticising you all. I know my parents have messed me up and since I cut them out of my life nearly 3 years ago I don't feel as bad about myself as I did with them constantly chipping away at my self esteem.

I'm not saying that going it alone is necessarily the way forward for everyone, but in my experience it's difficult to ever be any better than the loser they treat you as. If people you care about have a low opinion of you, how can you ever have anything but a low opinion of yourself?

Sometimes there can be an underlying cause of addiction, relationship and mental health problems, in my case undiagnosed (until last year) ADHD so it might be worth doing a bit of soul searching to see if you can get to the bottom of the root cause of your issues.

Which ever path you choose, my advice is definitely to try to surround yourself with people who believe in you and support you to give you your best chance of staying on track, whether that be friends, more understanding family members or support groups.

I believe you can make a full recovery and as long as you believe in yourself you will get there, I wish you all the best 😊

[Rowand]

Forensic. Congratulations on your recovery process. It takes a great deal of strength to break free from addictions and even more courage to take the steps necessary to go into recover. You are so right in everyday being a struggle, but one that I hope you take pride in. Often those who love us the most seem to have the hardest time accepting who we are and that our struggles are real. I wonder if it isn’t just easier for them to pretend we are OK than accept our issues. Moms especially really see to have a hard time when their children are hurting, and often will make excuses to help them avoid the painful truths. At this time in your life you need to focus on yourself and what you know is working and work the program. Keep telling yourself you are growing stronger and healthier and keep focusing on the things that will help you take care of yourself and your children in the future. We are defined by what we believe about ourselves, not what others think or tell us about us. Try to surround yourself with people who believe in you and will encourage you. I believe you can do it!