Once Again...

[Shanm2]

I find myself on here and I'm going to talk about what i have previously spoken about.

My mother and her alcohol problem, that has now come to an all time low, She is carrying on drinking despite being so very close to loosing everything, my siblings and houses, etc... I cant say i'm surprised, She just doesnt seem care. I on the other hand simply care all to much. Sometimes i wish i had the strength to turn away. but at the moment i'm trying to stay as strong as i can.

I think the most upsetting thing about this situation is watching her slowly loose everything, while she tries to block it all out with the alcohol. Her actions prove that she would rather drink then fight for things shes going to loose. She is a broken human being but only sees her pain, Nobody else's.

In the past i've pleaded and begged and cried for her to get sober before it got to this point. Not just for herself but for my younger siblings, because they are the ones who are truly suffering.

I know there isn't anything i can do. I know that she is a grown woman, she has made her choices and shouldn't be anything to do with me. I wish i could emotionally shut it off.

I keeping saying to myself to stay strong they best i can. Because in the end that's all i can do. For myself.

But i must confessed that this is killing me inside and the pain is becoming unbearable.

Alcohol ruins families and people. I'll happily say i hate it.

[Essentiallyfree]

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this situation, I can't imagine the pain you're feeling. I'm a person who feels all the feels way too much as well. I think it's a blessing and a curse.. You're absolutely right that, at this point, she's a grown woman who has made her own choices and as hard as it might be to grasp, her choices shouldn't dictate your decisions and future. This will always be a part of you, but learning to handle the emotions and situations in a healthy way is what is going to help you and your siblings. Do you have a counselor or support group? If not I would really encourage you to seek out some wise counsel and get some tools to help you navigate this situation. Take care, friend.

[Mumma_h]

This must be awful for you! It's soooo frustrating to watch someone lose it all when you know it dosnt have to be that way. Your mum must have a serious problem if she'd rather drink than fix things. I understand how alcohol can ruin lives. My ex hubby was/is a big drinker and horrible and abusive when he was drunk and never understood how it affected the family. It was absolutely awful for us. In the end he literally chose drinking over his family (but still doesn't recognise how it affected us)so i understand how it feels. Looking from the outside in I can see we can't control someone, it just isn't possible ;even when we can see the answers in front of them. All we can do is give our self the best life possible, achieve what we want to and enjoy what we want to,and it's ok to do that. Thanks for sharing,so sorry you're going through this,it's helped me see that I can't control my husband but I can have the life I want; my husband didn't like me to achieve anything or enjoy anything but I have the right to do that for myself and so do you and the other people affected by your mums drinking. All you can do is offer support for getting sober and love her when YOU can. ❤️

[cbgrace1980]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My dad was an alcoholic and he lost his wife and me at the end. He died alone because of his choice to put alcohol first. It was very sad to watch but I don't truly know if he missed us or not. It still hurts to watch a parent go through this. I hope that you will be okay and please know it isn't your fault.