We've heard that statement before. I do this all the time. From the moment I wake up until the moment I sleep at night. I have to because I have a teenage daughter to be strong for, a toddler to be strong for, a teenage son to be strong for, & now a husband to be strong for.
I do give myself at least 20-40 minutes a night where I do take to just take the mask off & let what needs to come out but, sometimes, a lot of times lately, that's not enough. There's still a lot pent up inside not coming out. A friend made me see this last when I gave myself my time. We talked a lot about my husband & his illness that has been making my anxiety really bad lately. I explained to her how much I held inside when my father passed away because I had to be strong for my 5 sisters & brothers (3 are 1/2 siblings), how much I held inside when I had held inside for my sister & brother when my mother passed away & how I also took over everything that had to be done to lay her to rest, and how now I have to hold almost everything in for my kids because I don't want them to know how truly scared I am for my husband. With all that I have lost in 5 years, I've learned to always expect the worse & with what my husband has right now, I am preparing for the worse of is causing it & it could possibly kill him. I might have to, again, prepare to be able to hold it all in for my children & that is going to be the heaviest of weight that I had ever carried on my own. I hardest mask that I had to ever wear. Who's going to be there for me?
During my childhood, wearing a mask was easy. When I was a teenager, wearing a mask was easy. During most of adult life, wearing a mask has been easy. Lately, however, it's been getting harder & harder. All around me just seems like loss. I pick myself up from one, dust myself off, put on the mask, & another comes & I'm doing it all over again. There's only so much one can handle of this.