STILL “frozen” by anxiety/depression… and loosing interest in everything

[Lost_in_life]

Sorry... I keep posting about the same thing… I guess I’m just hoping for some sort of “new” advice. I’m unemployed and “obsoleted” in my field: web design and management. I’m frozen in my search for what to do for employment. I feel like I should do something from home. My dad is 83 and going deaf. Besides, I’ve developed a severe anxiety of driving on the highways (my city has horrible traffic problems). I just don’t know what to do.

To make matters worse, I’m starting to lose interest in everything that I’ve been doing to occupy myself during this state of unemployment. It’s starting to depress me even more.

[leanneski]

Hi, what kind of things are you interested in? 😁

[Lost_in_life in reply to leanneski]

Well... some of it's "productive" or "creative" and some of it is just silly, "waste of time" stuff. I used to like to make art (digital and "physical") but I've gotten REAL discouraged with it mostly because it's not selling on the sites that I post it to... but there are other reasons, too.

On the "waste of time" side there's my obsessive Pinterest habit and (even sillier) building stuff in Minecraft. There's also reading. The only "social" thing I'm interested in is "hobbyist" gaming -- board and war games as well as pen-and-paper RPGs. Unfortunately, the only friends I have who are into that live too far away and are too busy with family and work.

[leanneski in reply to Lost_in_life]

Maybe you could just concentrate on making stuff you enjoy rather than to sell, you get the enjoyment of doing something you like without the pressure of wondering whether people will like it.

I was going through a really rough time recently and wanted something to focus on so I started volunteering for a wildlife charity, it really helped me to re-engage with the world a bit and to feel useful. It’s mostly outdoors as well so I get exercise as well and some fresh air which always picks me up. Maybe there’s something you could volunteer in that interests you? It also opens up opportunities for work by gaining experience and meeting new people x

[Lost_in_life in reply to leanneski]

Thanks. I know I should be making art for my own enjoyment. I just really wish I could make a living at it. That's been my life long desire, but... I guess my art is just not that "sell-able" and I'm just not that good at marketing myself.

I've heard that volunteering is good for both unemployment and depression. I have no idea what I'd like to volunteer for. Besides, I've got the issue with my Dad. I feel like I should be around for him. He's fairly active but he's going deaf and having problems with his balance. I REALLY want a work-at-home job. I need to focus on that.

Also, I DO make a point of getting outside and walking for 30 minutes every day (when it's not raining).

[purl1]

You are not alone. I too am unemployed and suffering from anxiety and depression. I have always had a problem with both my whole life but nothing compared to what I'm going through now. I find myself stuck in my house all day not really doing anything because I'm so depressed all the time. I find things bother me like being afraid I won't get enough sleep or finding it really hard to get out of bed in the morning. I never had a problem with anything before. I know it has a lot to do with being unemployed but I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to work when I can't be calm in my own skin. I'm a broken record on this site also. It's hard going through this and I know it helps me to hear from people on here that are going through the same things. So just know you are not alone I too am at home all day going "crazy" looking for advice on here.

[Lost_in_life in reply to purl1]

Thanks. It is good to know that others are going through similar situations -- and that it's not "just me" who's reacting to unemployment this way. I've been depressed for almost my whole life and I'm kind of used to it... but the anxiety from unemployment (and other stuff) is just "crippling." On top of loosing my job (the company I worked for 26 years shut down) I've lost a lot over the last four years -- the worst being my Mom who passed away just over two years.

Back to unemployment, I had NO idea how bad it would be. To make matters worse, I kind of let myself be fooled by the abundance of blog posts that claimed there were tons of ways to make a living working at home for yourself. I now realize that these were just overly positive exaggerations that served as "click-bait" for bloggers to make money from. Very discouraging!

[Hidden]

Have you spoken with anyone? Not necessarily a doctor, but even a pastor or church group? Maybe you could get in touch with a hospital social worker, or check with your own doctor, if you have one. Have you kept in touch with your co workers? They may have leads on work opportunities.

[Lost_in_life in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. I just started seeing a therapist. It's kind of too soon to know if it's going to help. I've kept in touch with a few co-workers but they haven't had many leads. Besides, I've kind really "obsoleted" myself. I learned and used stuff on an "as needed basis" and really fell behind in stuff that I now need to know in order to get a job in my field. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to have to "settle" for some sort of "low skill/low pay" job... and just wait it out until I can retire.

[sweetiepye]

You are probably not going to like what I have to say , but if you see it through you will be confident and as anxiety free as it is good to be. You know anxiety serves a purpose being the body's warning system that trouble is near and needs to be dealt with. People with the mental health issue have anxiety run amuck. I've had it and I got over it. The very last thing you need to do is stay at home every day, no excuses. You need to do the very thing you are afraid to do. You do it over and over and the repetition will take the sting out of it. If you are driving and a wave of anxiety comes over you keep your focus on what you are doing. The anxiety will pass over you. It may come again, but you will keep your focus. This will leave you feeling absolutely wrung out and swearing you'll never do it again , but you must. Your body can take a tremendous amount of this after all its your body that is producing this extra adrenalin and you are learning to control it's response. Check with your Doctor to see if there is any reason you shouldn't do this. It is hard to do, but welcome the challenge. Find a mantra to repeat to yourself.... bring it on....do or die....my own was do your worst, I talked to my panic attacks...is that all you've got? Remember, I was shaking in my boots at the time. You can do this and you only need to do it once a day . Pam

[Lost_in_life in reply to sweetiepye]

Thanks. Exposure therapy for my anxiety over driving on the highways is problematic. The worst issue is that highway driving around here is likely to lead to getting stuck for hours in traffic jams. That sort of defeats the point of exposing myself to dangerous driving conditions... plus it's an incredible waste of time and gas. To be completely honest I'd REALLY prefer to work from home -- fear of highway driving is just one of the reasons. Like I said, my Dad is getting really old and I feel like I should be around to help him if he needs it.

[sweetiepye]

You will always find logical reasons for not doing what you are most afraid of. You are undermining yourself. You must put getting well above everything else. . No exceptions , no excuses. It is not easy. Pam