My monster

[suzzze]

Wrote this today and kinda liked it :

My monster

What am I feeling, I don’t even know.

There’s pain inside me that continues to grow.

But what is it really this pain that I feel?

Nothing but neurotransmitters and synapses that I can’t reach to heal.

My head feels distorted I feel like a mess, and when people see me they think I just need some rest.

But I don’t know what to do anymore and this uneasiness is growing.

It’s so hard to keep going without it showing.

How do I hide it how do I Deceive u?

This pain is heavy and you’ve already seen the preview.

But it’s not just in me I’m just not good at hiding it.

I see it in others and I don’t know how they fight it.

I’ve been as strong as I can be and I don’t know where to turn,

but to pills and to doctors and to see what other diplomas I can earn,

to keep me busy to keep my mind shut, because I just don’t know how, I just can’t figure out, how to get out of this rut.

When you see me grumpy or sad and like I just don’t want to talk,

just know that I use all my energy even just to walk,

with a smile on my face with a listening ear,

for my patients and family and for you my sweet dear.

It’s not that I’m ungrateful for the life ive been granted,

My insides just feel chaotic and running frantic.

I wish I could tell you why this is the case,

but the older I grow the more I see it in my face.

And the loneliness adds to this growing monster,

please teach me lord which way I can conquer,

My monster is with me wherever I go,

just watching and waiting for it’s time to glow,

And it’s power over me is overwhelmingly strong,

I feel like itll never go away and we’ll just have to get along.

But wait,

I think now I understand,

Maybe this isn’t the problem at hand,

Maybe it’s isn’t it’s death that I seek,

But to tame him and no longer allow him to speak,

its lies into my ears and it thoughts into my life,

Which Fog my path and fills my life with strife,

I can do this, I know it, and not just for me.

My monster could seep it’s way into your life u see.

So I’ll tame him, for u, and for us, and for me.

I’ll tame this monster quietly besides me

[JAYnLA]

This is wonderful - thank you for sharing it.

[-Sasha-]

I love it. Such a creative way to explain what you're going through. The flow of it was amazing and consistent. I love how you personalized it in the end and it was like you were offering reassurance to both you and a loved one. Thank you for sharing 😊

~S~

[suzzze in reply to -Sasha-]

Thank u ! I am struggling with this with a loved one and this just poured down onto my phone this morning.i surprised myself.😆

[Hidden]

This is great explains everything basically.

[WoollyDays2]

This is brill!! Thank you for sharing this. You are talented!!!

Take gd care x

[Puzzled57]

That is awesome and totally relatable!! Thank you for sharing!!!

[Justbreathe3]

This ia amazing. My morning are rough but this has brightened my mood. Thank You

[suzzze in reply to Justbreathe3]

The fact that anyone relates to this brings tears to my eyes. I feel so incredibly alone sometimes.

[suzzze]

Really appreciate everyone’s support with this expression of pain ive shared.

[Justbreathe3]

You are never alone as long as you have this site. Anxiety and depression suck but you can and will get through it!!!!

[Runningfargal]

Wow, what a wonderful talent you have! Something to celebrate today

Beautifully written and right on!

[suzzze in reply to Runningfargal]

Thank you!!!!