the name says it sll

[Lostaloneafraid]

my ex moved out last Thursday and took our child. Yesterday she told me there is no hope for us. I hate coming home. I hate being home our child is 19 months and his absence is killing me. I miss her as well she made me a better person. I’m so lost without them I don’t know how to function. I still get to see him but it’s not the same as sleeping next to him. Coming home to him and seeing him everyday. I just don’t know how to cope with it. I feel like I lost all that matters. I don’t have the drive or energy to do anything. I feel like giving up.

[Xene]

Please don’t feel like giving up your son needs his dad in his life. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding the split but can’t begin to imagine the pain you are in. Obviously 19 months is very young but you need to try and stay strong to play a major role in his life, maybe he could even come for sleepovers too. Sadly there are no words to ease your pain now but just take one day at a time. I hope you have family and friends to help support you. My thoughts are with you and come here as often as you wish as there are lots of lovely people here willing to support you.

[Lostaloneafraid in reply to Xene]

Thank you, I came here because the number 988 suggested it. My son sleeps next to me now which helps tremendously. I am afraid that I will never be able to fully move on. I just miss her and our conversations and I don’t know how to even explain. She was my world even though at times I didn’t show it.

[Xene in reply to Lostaloneafraid]

You’re welcome. Not quite sure what you mean by “My son sleeps next to me now which helps tremendously?” You will move forward but unfortunately it takes time. You’re grieving, mourning the loss of the relationship and everything it involved. Maybe some antidepressants might help to lift your mood but they won’t change the circumstances causing you such emotional pain. Many couples manage to maintain a good friendship after a split. We are all different but maybe a therapist might help. Look after yourself, better days will come eventually.

[b1b1b1]

Make sure you are seeing a lawyer to deal with divorce/financial/custody issues. Also see a psychiatrist and consider antidepressants. You are in a very difficult situation and it is understandable that you feel terrible. As time passes, I believe things will sort themselves out -- you may meet someone else--you may be able to spend more time with your son, etc., but until then it will be very difficult. On the legal front, I am not sure how it is OK for your wife to just take your son and leave. I am not a lawyer, but this is a major question.

[fauxartist]

I'm truly sorry your going through this pain, it takes a long time to cope with the initial loss, but I'm glad you still get to see your child.

[Lostaloneafraid in reply to fauxartist]

thank you. I find myself so lost so undecided on everything and so sad. The loneliness and heartache is at times to much to bare.

[fauxartist in reply to Lostaloneafraid]

You know, your suffering grief and loss, and it takes time to go through all the stages of coping with this...and it takes a long time for the majority of the pain to subside, there's always a way though.....eventually you will slowly get better at coping with this....

[Toddzen]

That sounds so hard. Relationship break ups can cause the worst suffering. I've been through it several times. But never had children. You can get through this.

[Lostaloneafraid in reply to Toddzen]

it is, it doesn’t feel like things are getting better sadly. It feels like everything is getting worse. I hate my time alone. I try to pre occupy my mind but it still goes back to looking around and not seeing my favorite people. I still cry everyday. This is the hardest event of my life. I don’t know how or if I can overcome it.

[Toddzen]

I recently started going to Depressed Anonymous Zoom Meetings. They have a meeting everyday. You can buy the book at Amazon. The founder of the Group writes that loss is the trigger for depression in most of us. I know that's true for me. I went through terrible losses in my 30s and my view of life became deeply negative. The 12 steps is based on turning our lives over to a Higher Power. For me that's Nature. It hasn't been easy as my negative Ego fights back. I also study and practice Zen Buddhism.