What if life never gets better?

[Kat63]

I’ve had a lot of bad stuff happen the past few years. This isn’t the first time I’ve lost a job. My mother died almost 18 months ago. I’ve gone through some things with my boyfriend. I’m scared sometimes that things won’t turn around, that life will just keep getting worse and worse.

[Needtovent]

Kat, those ‘what if’s’ and fear, are just that nasty anxiety messing with you. I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. And when you are in the midst of other issues, I’m sure the sadness of missing her, is heightened. It’s true for me and my mom died over 50 years ago. I was just 5 and barely knew her. But as an adult, I still miss not having had a mom at so many important times in my life. Are you in the midst of a job search? That can be draining, too. I know it stinks, but just keep trying to push those nasty symptoms aside. Doing so eventually desensitizes you to these feelings. I’ve been working on that, but I’m having a tough night myself. Let’s hold cyber hands and push through........xoxo

[JAYnLA]

My perspective is that it's not the events in life but how we manage our emotions around them. Everybody deals with tragedy and awful events. Those of us with whacked out nervous systems react differently than people who are more regulated. All of my work right now is about being conscious of my reactions and working through them - not pushing them away. By the way - my anxiety jumped up to problematic levels a year after my mother died. Grief is definitely something I'm working with.

[Needtovent in reply to JAYnLA]

You are right JAYnLA. I shouldn’t have said ‘push aside’. What i meant was that i try and accept the symptoms i.e. how are body reacts. If in the process, they get pushed off, that’s OK too. You are right about those of us with anxiety having extrememely sensitive nervous symptoms and learning to live with and accept eventually leads to desensitization. We are all in this together.

[JAYnLA in reply to Needtovent]

Yes we are, Needtovent! Glad to be on this road with you.

[Kat63]

Thank you. It helps to hear back from people.

[Healthyeyes23]

I’m sorry for your loss!!! We are here for you!!

[quitter333]

But there is no "good" or "bad". Nature or life is not hating, nor loving. It is indifferent.

We humans however have chosen morality as our compass. Look for your life to be moral, and it shall be good no matter what you do or where you are, as goodness is a matter of perspective. If you need serious guidelines I dearly suggest Classic stoicism - philosophy to live in reality, not attach peraonaal judgement to reality where it is not needed, and to upkeep your virtues