Uncomfortable

[Kevin160]

Hey everyone , these past few days were not particularly stressful or filled with anxiety, but somewhat uncomfortable, now im just feeling that i want to just write about it not for the need for an answer just to feel better by expressing these weird thoughts im having

This week was a bit rough , a couple days ago i went to the ER because i was sick , just the flu nothing too serious, he gave me a shot because i had an ear i fection and a sore throat as well, anywho he prescribed to me curam ..as im reading the possible side effects , some rare effects scared me and i didnt want to take it ...i became so anxious all day thinking if i dont take it i wont get better , and if i do i might get some of these once in a million side effects , i just became so frustrated in myself i never check the side effects i never care about it , when did i become this picky and worrying about any tiny thing that i consume, or go through ..i just felt so terrible because all day i became more worried about me being anxious over a tiny thing than the situation itself , very scary ..just not knowing what can happen, made me think about all the things happening in my life not just this simple thing

I took a pill so far and its ok , but i just feel dissapointed not because i became a bit anxious, it was tolerable, but because i expected myself to be much stronger, and i only wish i ca ever be mentally strong , i just cant stand not knowing what will happen, such as waiting for results, or something bad to happen, or thinking about the future, or college or anything ..people might believe it to be silly but im just worried over many things not worth worrying about ..and i have A levels this summer and results day is already scaring me , i barely got over results day last year , i panicked so hard that night , and im stronger mentally but still i cant seem to get a grasp and tell myself things that i know deep down are true, such as i will be ok regardless of whatever happens, and hatever happens will be for a reason , but as i said im dissapointed in myself ;(

Im happy about not panicking like before , im much better mentally but still, im mad because i have been through similar things, i know there is no use to anxiety, i know i dont need kt, i know it wont hurt me i know its harmless, and thats why its not as scary, but my heart palpitates and my suboncious sort of triggers a response even when i know i dont need to panic, and i guess ineed to work on that, hiwever im not worried , because im accepting anxiety and coping , and it doesnt feel terrible and unbearable like it once did , realizing my fears arent true was key

[JAYnLA]

Honestly, Kevin - sounds like you're on the right track. Thanks for sharing yourself with us.

[Kevin160 in reply to JAYnLA]

Oh i appreciate it, i was expecting judements honestly but im happy that people are supporting me

[JAYnLA in reply to Kevin160]

Of course we're supporting you? Most of us have felt and thought the exact same things!

[Kevin160 in reply to JAYnLA]

❤️❤️thank you so much

[Agora1]

Hi Kevin, I think you are doing well. Just because we find ourselves in a position of

having understood and beat anxiety, doesn't mean that it won't come back to test us

from time to time.

Taking medication is one of those times. Our old fears of us probably being that

one in a million person to suffer ill effects surfaces. And so we have a talk with our

rational self letting us weigh the pros and cons. We can't duck and hide from everything

life throws our way. We need to trust in ourselves and our doctors. Don't be disappointed

with yourself. It took a long time to get to the place anxiety takes us to and may take some

time in reversing our thoughts of doubt and fear.

As symptoms may break through when put to a test, they can and will become more

short lived as you breathe them away and don't give them the importance they don't

deserve. You've come far Kevin and will continue claiming back your life. I'm proud

of you. x

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

As always agora, you tell me exactly what i need to realzie to get better, its exactly what im worrying about , litteraly, im worried how i will keep managing all the things like throw at me , all the little and major things, for example right now after i took the pill i feel itchy, im trying to be calm because i know im fine and that i feel fine but i just worry what if its not from anxiety , i just feel anxiety disrupting everything , im so happy with all the progress, i still cant believe all that i can do now , i learnt alot , i feel much more freedom , and alive because im allowing myself to learn new things , i took the medicine because as silly as it may sound, this little thing will help me get better at being calm even when im faced with something that i dont know, i want to be able to face anything , and not overthink , to be happy and not ruin my life with these toxic thoughts that are 98% irrational

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

Again thank you for all the help ,you really are one of the kindest best people i had the honor of interacting with , you help me understand things and realize what i need to improve ❤️❤️, as i mentioned my fears involve not being able to face things i fear, which prevents me from living a great life, i find myself worrying about a car ride that might end in an accident , or going on a trip and ending with an injury , just i want to feel carefree, if that makes sense , but you really understand that i dont want to duck and just hide , but sometimes its hard to face it

[Agora1 in reply to Kevin160]

I wish I could say Kevin, that the irrational fear completely goes away. That is truly

going to be up to us. We were born more sensitive to high stimulation but we also

are the kindest caring people around. It's difficult for us to become laid back because

we worry about not only ourselves but others. I've had the same fears and worries

as you have but I've learned to trust in myself. Never doubting myself. I may be far

removed from being a world traveler but what I have experienced and done in my

life was my reason for being here. And I am happy for that.

Keep going forward Kevin. You're young and the possibilities in what you can achieve

are tremendous. Go for it. You've got this. x