Empty Shell

[Runningfargal]

Does anyone else just feel like you are an empty shell going through the motions that you have to on a daily basis? My therapist calls me “high functioning” for my level of depression because I can get my responsibilities to my work and family done. But the thing is I feel little to nothing when I do them. There is no sense of joy, accomplishment, connection. I do them because I have to not because I want too. I’d rather be home, in bed or on the couch. I have no motivation except that others are depending upon me and I have to follow thorough. It leaves me absolutely exhausted trying to make it through the day and function as I’m supposed to. I smile, I laugh, I converse but there is nothing behind those actions, there are what they are because I have to do it. I don’t see how I can keep doing this. Does it ever get better, is there ever i time that I might actually enjoy the things I do, feel connected to the people I interact with? Will I ever actually WANT to be alive versus feeling like I have too? I tried to end my life once and failed. The thoughts are always there to try again, no plans, just thoughts but they never stop. I just need hope that it can get better.

[Kat63]

“High-functioning” depression and anxiety are hard, because you’re good at appearing like you’re OK. With me, it adds stress - what if I slip up and show how messed-up I really am? What will people think of me then?

The best thing to do is talk to a therapist and/or psychiatrist. They are trained to know about things like high-functioning depression and anxiety. A psychiatrist might be able to get you on meds that would help.

[explorerPHX]

definitely know this feeling. you can get your "responsibilities" done but you are still suffering, still empty, still feeling terrible.