I have no idea how to start over

[Luckyblubird]

I have always had anxiety that can become debilitating at times from before i can remember and the anxiety can become so strong it becomes painful to think at all, a few months ago i got in one of the moods that spirals out of control and the anxiety makes it impossible for me to leave my house it got so bad that I wanted to take my life so i went to the hospital (yay me!) and it was a horrible and overwhelming experience that in the end did help a little but while i was in there my boyfriend of 8 months who knew about this struggle of mine slept with my best friend because they "needed comfort" because my anxiety disorder (which i got diagnosed with in the hospital) was hard for him and me being in the hospital was too hard for him. i left him (and my best friend) of course because i know i deserve better but i feel alone and that i have to take care of my mental health and it feels i have to start my life from scratch now and i dont know how to. ontop of that i dont want to miss the people from my life that hurt me and dont deserve me but i cant help but feel like i cant trust new people because what if it ends like this again. its not like it was easy to make friends before with my anxiety.

[anxietyforlife2018]

Starting over is very hard, it's even harder when you think you are hopeless, but you aren't you are here with us. Please feel free to chat me, I can help more there.

[LalaTS]

I agree that going to the hospital because you wanted to take your life can be a very overwhelming experience. Even I’ve gone through it. When I was in a rough patch and wanted to start over, I created a mind set of making new friends, finding a hobby I may like, doing things I may not find myself doing (healthy things of course), and connecting myself with nature (that can be buying me plants/flowers, going on a hike, writing about it in detail, drawing/painting, garden etc.) but even with all of this I still do get anxiety but it’s a good start to try something instead of nothing. I hope this gives you an idea or helps. If you need to chat feel free to ☺️

[Hidden]

Hello Luckyblubird!

I know about starting over and no, it isn’t easy. It’s scary and lonely. I was 35 when it happened to me and I survived and moved forward in spite of the pain I was feeling. I was a wreck for the 1st year and cried every night after I put the kids to bed. The whole scenario makes you have a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach which is distinct and gnawing. But! You can and will do it! We are already survivors, veterans of mental illness. This is just another battle to be won by you! You don’t need either one of them although your heart aches for them. Something better awaits you, truly! Believe that! I’m wishing you strength and peace on this leg of your journey! I believe in you...

[Monablue]

You did so well going to the hospital. I'm really sorry about what happened with your boyfriend and friend, but the fact that you went to the hospital and reached out for help shows that you have the strength to overcome this. It might take time, but believe in your ability. You are a strong lady.

[ebelljae13]

I have the same problem. I wake up with anxiety. My chest pounds all day. Try deep breathing. If you find something that works let me know. Therapy and meds don't help.