Hiya, I have no idea what to do

I don't feel anything anymore. I just sort of...float. I'll forget what I was doing seconds ago and just move on and not care. I don't get out of the house. I don't feel anything. During the past few months I've felt really, really sad. I've had to force myself to interact with people and move from my bed. I used to write poems to help release some of my feelings (I never let anyone read them of course) but now I literally don't have any. Feelings, I mean. I'm either emotionless or overcome with anxiety.

I got really freaked out when I read 13 Reasons Why (you're going to laugh at me) and I found out Hannah wrote poems and stopped too, and I wondered if I stopped for the same reason. Also, I know it was probably the worst idea in the world to read a book about someone who commits suicide while I'm like this. And it did make me feel a little worse. But I just felt compelled to read it. I'm incredibly stupid sometimes.

I'm sort of just ranting right now, I guess. It's really late so I doubt anyone will reply to this. But I know something is wrong with me and I don't know what to do about it. Also, before anyone panics, I'm definitely not going to kill myself. I wrote a promise to myself that I never would and I never will. So.

Any tips?

[jkl5500]

Are you getting any medical treatment for depression?

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

I have an appointment with a therapist, but it'll be my first time seeing one.

[jkl5500 in reply to Hidden]

Just be open and honest with him or her. So many people worry about "what they'll think", so they don't open up. Please don't make that mistake. They've heard everything you can imagine many, many times. You won't shock him/her.

I'm glad you're getting treatment. This is serious stuff, and you need the help of a therapist. I wish you the best.

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

Thank you so much! I don't exactly know who else to ask for advice on this sort of stuff, so thanks, I will.

[jkl5500 in reply to Hidden]

I don't want to downplay what you're going through, but from what you've written, these are textbook symptoms of depression. (And yes, I've had them myself.) If you go through posts on this forum, you'll see how common they are. And most importantly, they can be treated! You WILL feel better!

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

Don't worry about downplaying it at all! I'm sorry, I really didn't read too many other posts on here. I actually struggled to open this website and write this. I wasn't really sure what was going on with me. I told one of my family members a while ago that I though I might be depressed, but they wrote it off as not getting out of the house enough, and I told myself that for a while. You really helped, even though I probably seem like an idiot. Thank you!

[jkl5500 in reply to Hidden]

No, I don't think you're an idiot. It's tough to admit you have a problem that must be worked on, but you did exactly that. You're on the right track. Good luck to you!