it's getting harder to keep going on

[purl1]

I don't know if I can do this anymore. I am so tired of feeling like this. It's the same bullshit day after day. I feel so bad for doing this to my daughter. It's embarassing when she has friends come over. I am not myself. I don't do the normal things a mom would be doing and I feel awful about it. I can't tell her not to have anyone over because I don't feel good. Why can't this anxiety go away. I started a day program and all we did was sit in one room in a circle all day (5 1/2 hrs) playing games and learned about nutrition. I don't know if it's worth it for me to go. there were 17 people in the group. I'm still not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel...

[Sillysausage234]

Your being way too hard on yourself..

[purl1 in reply to Sillysausage234]

i just feel awful for what I'm doing to my family. the battle is so hard.

[Sillysausage234 in reply to purl1]

Im sure they don’t see it like that purl ,don’t beat yourself up I know depression is a battle purl it stinks......

[Ragdoll15]

I know exactly how you feel, I feel the same way. My daughter is obviously older than yours but she keeps saying to me ' I want my mum back' because we were like best friends and I was known for my sense of humour, but not anymore sadly. You say your daughter's friends come over, so obviously she is not embarrassed about it, and they probably do not notice as much as you think, they are too wrapped up in chatting.

[Ragdoll15 in reply to Ragdoll15]

Sorry I must have hit the reply key by mistake and ended too soon. I wanted to say that I had the same experience with therapy. I only went a couple of times because I thought it a waste of time. I think we probably get more from these posts. Hope you will feel better tomorrow.

[Nerd254]

I totally understand when you say you feel tired of feeling how you are feeling every day. It's like a never-ending battle where you don't have the strength to fight but you are forced to keep fighting when all you want is to take a time-out. I also understand your need to give up. Personally, I am in a space where I feel like I do not want to exist. That Doesn't mean I want to die or anything, it just feels like right now this moment you just don't want to be in it. You want to get as far away as possible. I understand where you are coming from

[gutierrezk67]

You can do this. I know it's not easy . I struggle almost daily but I have to keep going and push through it. I'm always here to talk.