Day to Day

Day to day. Some say "Just go day by Day. It'll get easier." But when does it? I got diagnosed with Manic Depression (also known as Bipolar Depression) in 2013. It's now 2019 and it's still a constant struggle. I've two kids who are the most beautiful thing in my life, and a loving husband who supports me. But saying that some days I believe they'd be better off without me. I'm a constant failure, I'm not beautiful like other women, and I have a basic job that requires absolutely no talent at all.

[anich11]

I can relate as I have days when I feel like my husband and children would be better off without me. I feel like I am a burden to my husband because of all the baggage that came with me. I feel like I am a failure no matter how hard I try. I have recently decided to seek the help of a new therapist. I cry on the way to work, at work, at home etc. I feel so defeated.

[aaronm]

It gets better in small moments. We look for recognize and relish those moments while we have them. I'm the same way though and I question my self worth or self value a lot.

[Finx]

I also can relate. Every day is a struggle for me. I have trouble finding joy even in the small things. I never have that spontaneous laughter I once had. Feels like the sun stopped shining for me. I am struggling along with you so know there are others out here. I wish you a good day soon.

[Avidreader9559]

I once thought my family would be better off without me. I thought of going away and sending child support for my kids so they could have a better life. But with time, each person is different so time can vary, and with positive people around me and with a faith in God and studying His Word, I came to understand a very different picture. My kids need me. I am the only mother they will ever have. I get to choose to do my best for them because they need that from me. The best I can give them is being present. Some days are a struggle. Some days are easier. Some are harder. This is life. It can be beautiful and hard and messy all at the same time. Are you seeing a therapist? Do you have medications that help you cope with your diagnosis? Every person has struggles. The struggles are just not all the same. I had to learn not to compare myself to anyone else. I can just do my best for the moment in front of me. I hope this is encouraging for you. If you would ever life to talk, you can message me. Keep going. One moment at a time.

[Hidden in reply to Avidreader9559]

I use to be on a medication, one that for awhile had been working. But then just like that it stopped working, now I can't afford to even attempt to get a new prescription. I've looked at therapy but unfortunately Ive gotten then therapists that do the "It's just in your head" nonsense or the "It's not that bad" instead of listening to me. I know there are good therapists out there, but it seems my luck just isn't good enough to lead me to one.

[Avidreader9559 in reply to Hidden]

Oh, I am so sorry that has been your experience. Therapists who want listen do more harm than good. Medications can be expensive and I wish they weren't. I wish I had more suggestions. I hope you find what you need to keep going. Hugs.