I am new to this support group. I guess my question is, why is depression so painful? I literally feel like its trying to kill me everyday. It's been months since i've felt like my normal self. My therapist tells me that i am not alone but i everyday i feel like an alien on this planet. Other people with depression are fortunate enough to have some sort of support system (Family/Friends) Etc. Everyone i use to have in my life are gone. I walk around every single day in fear of people. I fell like i don't belong on planet earth. I have a beautiful son who is the reason why i am still here but i feel like he deserves another mother better than me. I feel like i am so weak that i am unable to be a good mother to him. Anyways, will this feeling ever go away?
Sincerely,
A severely depressed human
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Letsbrihonest
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is your therapy helping you? are you on SSRI's?....for sure you not alone with those feelings, there are lots of people here going through the same things. A great way to get some sense of how common it is to feel the way you do is to start reading others posts and comments....and keep sharing...all of it helps.
Therapy doesn't seem to be able to help me as much as i need as i only see mine twice a month. Although i am going to group therapy in between i still have this void that need to be filled. I only wish i had a strong loving family that was able to help give me support through this but i don’t. I have literally lost all my friends because if my illness within the past 2 years. As far as SSRI’s go. I recently had a bad experience with one SSNRI (Cymbalta) that made be very sick to point of hospitalization. So they took me off those and the discontinuation syndrome was awful. So its been about a month or 2 without any medication and i just can’t seem to crawl out of this dark hole and see the light. So my doctor has recommended me to try an SSRI (Prozac.) I just started them this week and i know it takes awhile to actually see or feel and results of the medication working. I guess the feeling of loneliness and feeling abandoned make me hate being alive. Thanks for reaching out fauxartist.
First off I want to congratulate you on being proactive, recognizing there's a problem, and getting help. Depression often encourages us to stay in bed, withdraw from the world, and refuse to seek help; it's a huge positive step that you fought that inclination and got yourself into treatment.
Now you're in that difficult in-between period where you haven't found a medication that works for you, and maybe haven't found a therapist able to help you fully either.
So: where do you go from here? Well, the good news is that things are going to start getting better. Even if Prozac isn't the one for you (and I hope it is) if you are patient with your doctor they will find a medication that is compatible with you. And I think you should look into the possibility of seeing your therapist once a week instead of bi-weekly, at least until your medication has built up in your system and you are seeing some real results.
I know this is long, but the last piece of advice I'd like to give is this: make a serious effort to make some friends. Even internet friends count, just as long as you feel like you can open up to them when you need them. You need a support network to encourage you when you have a hard day or are going though a bout of depression. I know it can be hard, but you only need to really connect with 1 or 2 people to really have a beginning support network.
I hope this helps. You're doing really well and I am proud of you.
I hope Prozac helps you ....I take Lexapro at the smallest dosage. I went through Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, cymbalta,celexia,wellbutrin, and finally to Lexapro And I had to find a therapist who understands abandonment issues and child abuse issues. I had gone to a few different therapists in my life and only the ones who understood this specifically were able to help me. Having both depression and this abuse made my life a living hell most of my childhood and young adult life, and still carry's into my life today to a lesser extent. I also fought substance abuse early on as I resorted to self medicating. There were no SSRI's or understanding way back then of abandonment issues and it's long term effects. It's a lot of trial and error unfortunately as there is no cure for depression. But my therapy also helped me to learn to manage my issues which made my depression worse. I hope you find the right fit with a therapist, and writing here I feel for myself is very cathartic and healing.
I'd read up on it as much as you can ....it's something that is not discussed as much and yet it is one of the biggest issues with a lot of people here.
I can totally relate to your post. I am feeling more and more uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel comfortable in group therapy but around "normal" people I feel awkward socially. I just want to go home and read a book or play my guitar.
I have a daughter and feel like I should be doing more for her. She is 12 and just told her about my depression because I didn't want to think i didn't love her. I can be cold and distant from the depression.
it's really good that you did that Marshall....talking to your daughter and explaining that when your on the down side of this disease...make it very clear it's just a chemical imbalance...take any thing personal out of it.....make it like it's any other disease like debates or something so that in no way will she take it on board as something they did wrong, or that you don't love them, and re-assure her always....when your on the up swing of this disease....be sure and try to make time for her and show her you love her. Don't feel guilty...just be mindful of the distance can make your daughter feel unloved.
Hello, no doubt about it depression will try to kill you everyday; it is a battle. And you are fighting for you and your son. Sounds like he is lucky to have a Mom who loves him so much she is willing to keep walking thru it. Therapy, meds, support systems can help to alleviate the symptoms of depression. Some people find comfort in prayer, meditation, movement, music. Etc. whatever works for you. Do something nice for yourself everyday bc you are worthy. This disease is intense and it takes strength and courage everyday to decide to fight. We are warriors and conquerors. your son is lucky to have such a strong mom! Woman+mother+battles depression+ seeking help=Superhero. ⭐️
I feel like if I had a better support system I could get through this faster. When the pain gets to hard to bare I just want to give up. I feel like my whole life is going to be life this. And if that’s the truth I don’t want to live it.
I am very sorry! Depression hurts a lot and millions of people suffer from it. You are not the only one who feels the way you do. You are not alone. Counseling can help a lot and maybe finding another counselor or meeting more frequently with the one you have could help you more. Walking outdoors regularly has proved to help a lot people who suffer from depression. Volunteering is something else that helps too. You are a strong person and, unfortunately, we have suffering in this life. I hope God provides you lots of help.
Thank you for reaching out! Lately All I’ve been feeling is immense pain from this depression. Everything hurts and I feel so
Empty. I have been seeing a councilor very 2 weeks but that doesn’t fill my void. I have never been to fond of religion but now it’s starting to look like I need something to provide faith in this life I live. I know I’m not alone however depression makes me feel like an alien.
There is an organization that has a staff of licensed professional counselors who are available to listen, pray, and provide guidance to anybody who calls. You could speak with one of their counselors at no cost by calling 1-855-382-5433. It’s one phone call that could help you, not only because they will listen to you, but they can provide referrals and guidance. You deserve to feel better. I hope that you do not give up. God bless you!
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