Do I want a roommate?

[InquisitiveMind427]

Good afternoon everyone. I hope everyone is doing well.

Sorry for the venting last night and thank you to everyone who commented. I’ll try and find time today to respond to those as well as unanswered messages....

I’ve reached my limit. I can’t stay here any longer than necessary no matter how much saving money would help me in the long run. I should be able to afford living on my own. If not I can always find a job and work a day or two on weekends as much as I hate the idea....

Does anyone have experience finding roommates? I’m not sure it’s the way I want to go but splitting bills with someone for 1-3 years could go a hell of a long way in my life. I looked a little this afternoon and I don’t know.... there’s just so many sketchy and contradictory posts. Is there a site that has worked for someone or any suggestions someone might have?

I posted on Facebook to all of my friends who don’t have contact regularly with my ex or my family, I responded to one craigslist ad and I was looking at an app that seems a bit off.... I see multiple listings for the exact same apartment(s) listed by multiple people hat claim to be furnished but the information is filled out wrong for example.

I’m not sure this is what I want or if it would work out but I want to at least explore my options.

Any suggestions????

[AuntBee]

I read your earlier post and I’m glad you’re feeling better. Since you’re asking for advise, I say DO NOT get a roommate. If you can get a 2 bedroom that would be ideal for allowing your daughter to visit and have overnights. The last thing you need now is potential drama from a roommate that is a stranger. Even friends that you do know, it’s not the same when you live with them. It’s good that you are thinking of finances, but the value of peace far outweighs saving a few bucks.

[InquisitiveMind427 in reply to AuntBee]

Thank you. All of that is actually what is weighing on my mind and I completely agree with everything you’ve said except I’m not sure I could afford a decent 2+ bedroom...... But I want to go back to school for my long term happiness and with the program I’m looking at (I’m considering nursing school. I could have my BSN in 16 months with the program I’m looking at) there’s no way I could work my current job while going and any job I’m likely “qualified” for isn’t likely to pay enough for me to live on my own while going. My ex has offered to not make me pay child support while I’m in school but I absolutely do not trust her intentions. She has never acted like she cares about my happiness and the amount of fights she has picked since the offer just further destroys any trust I might have had in her. I’ll almost certainly do what you’ve said because I don’t trust people and have heard plenty of horror stories but I’m sick of feeling stuck and unfulfilled as well... I’m just feeling lost and trying to explore my options...

[mrmonk]

As a temporary solution, have you considered Airbnb? That's what I'm currently using, though I'm also interested in finding a roommate to rent an apartment at some point, so I hope someone will post helpful resources for safe ways of finding good roommate matches, maybe even something specifically for people with mental health challenges, like anxiety.

[InquisitiveMind427 in reply to mrmonk]

I doubt I’ll find a way that it would work out for me the way I want but if I learn of something I’ll let you know. The Airbnb might be a temporary solution but if I’m moving out I need to save as much as possible as fast as possible 😕

[AuntBee]

Faulhallen, you could stick with a one bedroom apartment by yourself. Your daughter could still visit. Get a student loan to pay for tuition and living expenses and further support yourself with part-time job.

[Eowyn7 in reply to AuntBee]

I like this advice!

[InquisitiveMind427 in reply to AuntBee]

I love this advice as well and I hope that it can work. I already have a tremendous amount of student loans from the degree I have and am not using so I’m worried I won’t be able to get what I need. I’ll definitely look into this though! 🙂

[Eowyn7 in reply to InquisitiveMind427]

I'm curious, what degree do you have that you're not using?

[InquisitiveMind427 in reply to Eowyn7]

I actually have a Law Degree. It’s a bit of a long story but I felt pressured to succeed because of my son’s disabilities. The super short version is I hated every moment of it and begged my ex to support me dropping out and doing something else but she’d make me feel like a selfish jackass who was failing his children. I never took the bar because of my depression and how much I hated it and they aren’t as useful in alternative fields as law schools claim they are...

My current thinking is that I had considered nursing school at the same time I started law school. I like the idea of going into anesthesia but even if I change my mind I could get some experience as a nurse and then hopefully the law degree would help me get an amazing job in hospital administration. Either way I would probably make nearly twice what I do now if not more.

[Eowyn7 in reply to InquisitiveMind427]

Definitely do what feels right. Nursing is a very good profession. A law degree is super impressive too though, I'm sure you could find something tangentially related to that if you wanted - something in business? The job market is better now than it was a couple years ago.