Success stories

[Kevin160]

Hey everyone, i met alot of people here who helped me with their anxiety , but i would like to hear people’s personal stories (if anyone would like to share ofcourse :))

Im currently feeling calmer and have been this way for the week, thats the first time i felt this calm for longer than a couple days since december 2018 , which makes me feel proud but i can feel the amxiety comes and goes which sometimes seems for no reason

I would like to hear how people cope after anxiety, dont you get flashbacks of the awful panic attacks, or the physical symptoms, the dark nights you felt hopeless , anything would help because currently i feel my enemy is my thoughts, because im constantly fearing relapsing and worrying again , i have the worst flashbacks where i was having a terrible panic attack and thought that im dying and its over, i couldnt speak i just laid there and stared at the wall, as i was having the panic attack i told my family, they were like its fine we will see what we can do , and left me and went out ..i felt like it was hopeless, i just felt the darkest i have, i have always been this happy kid and i never thought this will ever happen and i still can believe it is, just doing anything used to make me panic for the past months, now its better but i want to know how people feel after therapy and is it always curable or atleast managable ...please i know its silly but i just like to know , so bear with me

[Customshop22]

Hello Kevin

What you are experiencing is not silly at all. The fact that you are having calm moments is a very good sign. I took benzodiazepines for 17 years to manage my anxiety. This April, it will be 17 years that I am off them. It was an addiction by prescription, and they did not solve my problem.

One night, i performed my usual task of rolling over in bed at 3 AM to pop my benzo so that I could sleep. At that moment, I had a small revelation. I stopped and asked myself how bad was my life really, that I was always so anxious? I asked myself if I truthfully could say that I had done everything in my control to try and improve the situation. The answer was clearly no, as I had depended on medication to do that for me. Just so that this reply doesn't go on forever, my conclusion is that I accepted that I would perhaps never get rid of my anxious make-up. But if i could chip away at it slowly, over time, I could land in a place where I could tolerate what's left of it. The first year off medication was difficult. But I persisted. Every night that I didn't wake up to take my pill was a celebration for me. After a while I felt I was winning this battle and doing the happy dance in the morning. 17 years later, I still have some anxiety and I simply accept it. Seems everyone around me has some too and they just don't say it publically. Does it get in the way sometime? Yes. But so does arthritis or migraines or IBS. It waxes and wanes now, its not there every day. I have tried to see things this way and it helps me. It's part of my fabric, and so what? I have done a lot of self reading and I have taken the time to seek out good psychologists to help me through. Not perfect but better than living on medication. Certain events still bring me back to 17 years ago, but this time around, I understand that they will eventually pass.

[Kevin160 in reply to Customshop22]

Thats really wonderful to hear, im so glad to read your story, the problem is that my anxiety is too severe, for the past 2 months its just been panic attacks everyday, however this was the first week where anxiety was minimal or non existent, however today i have been feeling my heart sinking and dropping since i woke up, i just keep getting flashbacks on the dark nights were i thought i would die, i want to start therpay but in the time being no one in my family or friends circle supports me , and i really feel like im falling apart, i try to convince myself im fine and that all this stress wont kill me , but it feels that way so even when im aware im fine i keep getting these terrible physical symptoms like a headache, dizziness, derealiztaion and shortness of breath and severe body pains that i feel like im getting a stroke or a heart attack, i get severe migraines with aura that mimic stroke symptoms, i just have alot of things i fear happening again like migraines and panic attacks where i lose ability to speak or see for less than an hour and unfortunately there is no 100% effective cure , evrything in my life good or bad has a bad side , i try to stay positive and im not depressed i love life, but everything i want to do requires thinking and preperation and fear and anxiety and i hate it. I feel stronger than before and my anxiety is more managable now even without therapy , im super proud of myself for getting through 2 months of constant out of control feeling of hoplessness and panic , they are becoming less severe but sometimes they get back, and im so frustrated and angry because i dont have alot to be stressed about now , everything terrible already happened and i dont have much stress factors , however i feel worried and panicky all the time basically, and i just dont know what to do, i tried meditation, breathing techniques, hypnosis didnt work,talking to people and gaining support and advice , it did help a bit but i want to feel normal again , i just fear that im gonna die every day , and my biggest fear is that stress will kill me , and whenever i go im haunted by these terrible thoughts about death, loneliness, fear and panic ...i went through all this and my friends and family saw me suffer and didnt help , no support whatsoever because they think im fine and being dramatic while i sleep everyday worrying about not waking up , or dying from stress , or just any irrational thought i get i have alot more to write but you get the point,

[maxedout1]

Anxietycentre.com and the anxiety guru. Both are dead on target and a wealth of info. Learn not to fear your anxiety but rather to co exist with it. Fear is what fuels it. Kind off hard to wrap your head around this concept at first, but once you do it's truely life changing! Take it from someone who's been there done that. You CAN do this. Focus your attention on what you want not what you don't. It takes a little time and effort but so worth it. You are the only one who can fix this problem. No-one can do it for you. So put yourself first and be your own best friend!

[Kevin160 in reply to maxedout1]

Yes i totally agree, i recently started accepting that it wont kill me and i need to live with and not fear it, now so far so good, its been about 9 days since i last had a severe panic and anxiety episode, things are settling down , recently turned 18, learned so much from this forum , now living with it isnt so scary, i feel optimistic about the future and i dont feel like dying every night and day , now whenever i feel anxious i just remember it wont kill me , and stress is never constant it always changes and it gets better, i stopped seeing everything so scary, i still however get triggers and anxiety attacks, but they are so much less severe and not as scary because im usually logical and dont think that its a heart attack or will damage my health like i used to , its still hard and i have a long way but im proud of my progress, i feel much freeier

[maxedout1 in reply to Kevin160]

I mis-spoke in my previous post and said anxiety guru and meant to say "the anxiety guy". His name is Dennis Simsek, and he suffered from terrible health anxiety. But he overcame and is such an unbelievable inspiration to not only those with health anxiety but anxiety/depression in general. He has done a number of pod casts that you can listen to from his website or u-tube.

I have found that education is key. But you need to get the facts, not bullshit. I believe that the anxietycentre.com and the anxiety guy site's are the real thing. No bullshit, just the facts.

Sounds like your on the right track. No one ever said that it would be easy or that it would happen over night. Sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Sometimes it just a step back. But trust me, it will come!!!! Keep track of what works for you and what doesn't so you don't waste time and energy on what doesn't. There will be bumps in the road but that's OK. Think of those bumps as another opportunity to practice what works. Remember to focus on what you want not what you don't.

I will be praying for your continued success!