Overthinking

[Kevin160]

Hey everyone, its been a while, im doing very very well these past few days, for the last 4 days i would barely feel anxious, im sleeping well and im feeling great, however today i felt great but after a talk with my mom , we were discussing something about health and she meantioned a time where her blood pressure was high , about 200/110 and had to be hospitalized, i started the topic which was about my brother who had a blood test and we sort of talked about health etc.. ,anyways and that doctors fear high blood pressure because the veins and arteries could rupture from the force of blood and extreme pressure, i tried not to think too much of it , but to be honest i feel a bit of anxiety coming in and im trying to avoid it, im not measuring bp as often, like maybe once every few days , and its always low, im doing deep breathing and sometimes even when im stressed its not high because im physically heakthy, its just that the conversation sort of triggered a bit of fear , not because i was just worried that what if this happens to me, what if i had high bp and start panicking, but just that i can sympathize with the situation that i know how scary it is and its a bit of an u comfortable topic for me , but i mean i cant avoid talking to people, and its not like im worried, i still feel calm but i feel a bit of like heart palpitations and a bit or worrying, i just think im also more worried to lose all this progress , im trying to accept that its anxiety and im not saying “oh im fine its nothing” but im just so happy now and i just wanted to have stress free days, because since 2019 started and i felt terrible, and im sort of getting flashbacks on all the emotions such as the panic, the derealization, the panic attacks and all the fear ...

Not complaining or anything i know it takes time and im putting in the effort, im even surprised im relaxed the way i am, like its not getting to me somehow, like im aware that im iverthinking or worrying but im not like panicking or getting tense , i just wanted to write about it and express a bit about these past few days

[AZ1970]

Kevin.

You are doing so well. It’s normal for you to feel anxious after hearing that from your mom. It doesn’t mean you haven’t made progress. Look at this as a test. You know how to do this. Use your skills. You got this!

[Agora1]

Hi Kevin, I'm so proud in how you are doing. AZ1970 is right in that it is normal

to feel anxious when hearing something that hits a trigger for us. However, you

now are in control of your emotions. In one ear, out the other. I agree, You've got this

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

Yes you are right, and its getting easier, like i never thought a month ago at some times i was hopeless and thouht this is my new normal, but now even if its not been long about 5 days, i didnt measure my bp, didnt worry about my health, felt calm , but i guess this got me back to reality and i just worry a bit that i will get back to where i was, because it feels to good to be true honestly , and i still didnt see a therapist so im not sure how i could have overcame this alone,...

[Agora1 in reply to Kevin160]

Kevin, I think you were ready this time around. And that makes all the difference

in the world. Being on this forum has made you start thinking and not staying stuck.

Sharing your journey with others who understood made you open your eyes to the

fact that just maybe, you could beat this. We learn from each other through their

experiences but I do agree in that it takes you, the person, to take that first step

forward as well as change your way of thinking.

There is no reason to worry that you may slip back. You've got the power and are

in control of your life once more. You have just made "Anxiety" back off because of

your mind set. And should you have a little oops once in a while, within moments

you will be able to convince yourself by accepting this as a bump in the road and nothing more. Walk tall Kevin, you won. x

[Mlovinska1]

Hi Kevin, I’m literally reading my own rant here. I’ve been having the exact same stuff going on all 2019 with the anxiety and whenever I talk to my mom she talks about something that stresses me out again. My therapist recommends to just breathe through it, don’t try to suppress the anxiety let it happen & just wait for it to end. It won’t last forever. And also my therapist said just to forbid talking about health with my mother, if she brings it up ask to change topics!

[Calm_mama]

Hi Kevin! So glad you are doing so well!

Don't forget- "Setbacks are your friend." Yes, you need setbacks. They help you to practice once more

Can't wait to hear how therapy goes for you- I think you are going to get SO MUCH out of it!! I'm so proud of you for doing all this work on yourself. You will look back at this time in your life one day and be blown away by how much you've learned and grown

[Ollyvie]

Hello kelvin160,

Its always great to have an outlet to share your thought sometimes. Like you said you have had great days and only that today’s conversation with your mom has get you thinking. Its okay to feel this way sometimes. I can understand how you feel. I will also will be concerned with the reading too. What if may never even be a possibility. Whenever your mind begins to tell you what if the bad happens, then also ask yourself what if the opposite happens. It also a possibility too. Just focus on the good possibilities and stay hopeful. Since your readings are good then just take it easy on yourself. Keep doing your breathing exercises and stay healthy.

Hopefully with medical care and treatment your moms blood pressure will be taken care off.

[Kevin160 in reply to Ollyvie]

Thank you for the support, my mom's health is thankfully much better ..she had cancer a few years back and high blood pressure but thats being taken care off, she had a cardiac episode a while back too, the conversation bothered me a bit because i was already concerned about bp due to stress,, i was constantly stressed and anxious so i was worried about the physical side of it , im feeling better now but sometimes the thoughts kind off take over , i try to realize they are irrational but i keep thinking that since stuff like this happen all the time,, and i have terrible luck basically all the time , and im a very superstitious person which is something i hate , but whenever i think of something i just worry it will happen