I dunno

[iriss]

I don’t feel happy. I’ve been emotionally drained for the past few days. I’ve been drained for the past few months really. I’m tired. I don’t want to go to school anymore. I just want to take a break. I’m stressed and I’m already missing assignments. I just don’t feel like doing anything and I don’t know what to do about that. I hate forcing myself to do things but that’s all anyone ever tells me to do. “Just force yourself to do your homework” “force yourself to go to school” etc. I don’t like it. I’m tired. I miss my mom. Things suck. Life sucks.

[Hidden]

I feel ya. I hated school and homework was my biggest enemy. I had to learn pace myself and remind myself “I’m not dumb and all I can do is my best”. maybe you need a break/vacation or just one day a week of nothing school related where you just focus on self care.

[iriss in reply to Hidden]

I can’t afford to do that though. My grades will go down because my teachers don’t seem to understand that I struggle to get out of bed every morning. I feel like I’ve told them time and time again that I need some help and I need some time with things but they don’t see to take it into consideration. It really sucks. Some of my teachers are very understanding and helpful and some don’t seem to understand at all

[Hidden in reply to iriss]

yeah, i get that. I had a art teacher in college that wasn’t empathetic when i used ‘incorrect techniques’ to compensate for my hand tremors. i’m not suggesting you gotta leave town or spend a bunch on a spa day; it can be even just meditating for an hour without work whenever you can or maybe a day trip at a park when you get the chance. just some way to decompress when you’re not doing schoolwork.

[iriss in reply to Hidden]

Those are good ideas. I want to try to work something into my schedule but I really don’t know what to do or how to work it in. I want to start painting but I don’t have materials or talent so I don’t know

[Hidden in reply to iriss]

whatever works for you and your schedule. painting is a good idea, an you don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it. you can always order stuff online and just go jackson pollock on a small canvas, you get good at something when you practice.

[Cassie2178]

Hi Iriss, Sorry about losing your mom That's super tough and I can only imagine how hard it is to get through a day. I think death makes us wonder why does anything really matter...but in time it will get better although you made need counseling to learn how to grieve. I'm sure you've heard about the 5 stages of grief and it sounds like you are in stage 4. In this stage you suffer depression and feel to sad to care or do anything. This stage can be shortened by getting help to move on to stage 5, which is Acceptance and peace of what has happened. There's an article "Coping with Death and Grief" written by Patricia Johnson that you can google. Hope you know you're not alone in your grief, so many of us suffer but we can overcome. I'm sure your mom would want you to be happy. Don't be hard on yourself for grieving.