Breaking the cycle

[Puzzled57]

I have knowingly dealt with cycles of “darkness” for 26 years. They are worse during times of transition. I take showers, go to the beach, binge TV, listen to music, journal and such. Lately these things are losing their luster and I need better coping skills. I have successfully cut myself off from people in general to avoid judgement and heartache. It gets lonely though and I find I can’t have it both ways. Being around people does not energize me but I find it necessary to keep from being a total recluse. Am I alone in this too?

[Hidden]

The beech sounds good pity it's 4000mls away,as you say you carnt have it both ways so you do it the other way by abstaining and I'll have the drinks and beech good swap .😎😎🌞🍓🍺☕️

[fauxartist]

you might want to try some of these groups with special interests like hiking, biking, walking, or bird watching......there seem to be quite a few on the internet at this 'Meetup' site...family activities as well as individual. That way there is something you already have in common to talk about, and there is no commitment expected.

[Hidden]

what

[meerkat45]

You’re not alone in this!

What do you mean by “darkness”? And how long is a cycle?

I am an introvert and it wears me out being around people a lot.

I have had many years of ups and downs, I really haven’t been happy in over 10 years. It is exhausting, but I really don’t see the point in so many things any more.

[Puzzled57]

The darkness is the state of being that I get in - the depression. I cut myself off, am weepy, negative, unhappy, and uncaring. I walk around in a fog that envelopes my total being. I feel surrounded by nothingness and it’s like a barrier that encircles me. I am always on the fence between the light and dark- regular and irregular being. I can stay on top for a few months at a time but then something happens and I shimmy down that fence into the darkness.

I am an introvert by my very nature and people exhaust me but their relationships are necessary to keep me on the fence. Its a paradox.

I get what you are saying about there being no point. I would be curious as to what decade your age is in. I am in my 50’s and have found it has been a very revealing decade and I question everything, trying to find meaning. It feels good to know that I am not alone!!