The worry cycle

[SlothTamer]

What’s up with me having anxiety about being around people, esp new situations, then after the event/scenario I’m worrying about how I performed (for lack of a better word) during the situation. Example: I was worried about going to a dinner party. Then the next day after the party I worry that I was weird or unsocial or awkward during the party. It’s a ridiculous cycle. So, is this worry cycle about control, low self esteem or what? Just wondering if any one else experiences this or has talk to a therapist about it. Thanks.

[Lazy_dog_lover]

I tend to be more afraid of screwing things up in the moment...not in social settings, but at work. I go into work terrified each day. My therapist called it a toxic environment, but I have not been able to change yet. She asked me to find one thing each day that went well. Focus on that.

[SlothTamer in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

Thanks. So are you terrified of what others will think or losing your job? I appreciate your response and glad to hear from others. I think my worries are related to what others will think of me and it’s ridiculous because I know that their opinion doesn’t matter.

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to SlothTamer]

Nothing is ridiculous. It is our reality. I do go in to work every day worrying about if I will screw something up. It is made worse because the things I have gotten in trouble for were because I just did not know the protocol. I was just trying to help, but it wasn't done in the way they would have done it.

[SlothTamer in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

Im sorry to hear it. That sounds very stressful. I found a good website a couple of days ago written by a therapist. It’s anxietycoach.com by David A Carbonell phd. I’ve found his views of anxiety very insightful. Please let me know if you know of any good websites or books.

[YellowUnicorn]

Hi,

I suffer from anxiety and this sort of thing happens to me all the time. On my worst days, all I can think of is how I behaved and how it was all wrong. I have been recommended to talk to a therapist as this cycle can lead to other health problems (such as struggling to breathe, depression etc). I haven't yet talked to a therapist because I haven't really gotten around to it. However, I find that controlling my thoughts by writing them all in a diary allows me to think rationally.

Just remember that your fears are not insignificant and life is a learning experience so even if you believe that you performed really bad in one situation, you will do better next time. It could also be low self-esteem and a bit of quiet time including some self-care always boosts my confidence.

I hope some of this helps you.

[SlothTamer in reply to YellowUnicorn]

Thanks for the nice feedback. Yes I absolutely believe my worry cycle is related to low self esteem. It helps to talk with others as I am doing here. Thank you again.