The worry cycle: What’s up with me... - Anxiety and Depre...

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The worry cycle


What’s up with me having anxiety about being around people, esp new situations, then after the event/scenario I’m worrying about how I performed (for lack of a better word) during the situation. Example: I was worried about going to a dinner party. Then the next day after the party I worry that I was weird or unsocial or awkward during the party. It’s a ridiculous cycle. So, is this worry cycle about control, low self esteem or what? Just wondering if any one else experiences this or has talk to a therapist about it. Thanks. :)

6 Replies

I tend to be more afraid of screwing things up in the moment...not in social settings, but at work. I go into work terrified each day. My therapist called it a toxic environment, but I have not been able to change yet. She asked me to find one thing each day that went well. Focus on that.

Thanks. So are you terrified of what others will think or losing your job? I appreciate your response and glad to hear from others. I think my worries are related to what others will think of me and it’s ridiculous because I know that their opinion doesn’t matter.

Nothing is ridiculous. It is our reality. I do go in to work every day worrying about if I will screw something up. It is made worse because the things I have gotten in trouble for were because I just did not know the protocol. I was just trying to help, but it wasn't done in the way they would have done it.

Im sorry to hear it. That sounds very stressful. I found a good website a couple of days ago written by a therapist. It’s by David A Carbonell phd. I’ve found his views of anxiety very insightful. Please let me know if you know of any good websites or books. :)


I suffer from anxiety and this sort of thing happens to me all the time. On my worst days, all I can think of is how I behaved and how it was all wrong. I have been recommended to talk to a therapist as this cycle can lead to other health problems (such as struggling to breathe, depression etc). I haven't yet talked to a therapist because I haven't really gotten around to it. However, I find that controlling my thoughts by writing them all in a diary allows me to think rationally.

Just remember that your fears are not insignificant and life is a learning experience so even if you believe that you performed really bad in one situation, you will do better next time. It could also be low self-esteem and a bit of quiet time including some self-care always boosts my confidence.

I hope some of this helps you.


Thanks for the nice feedback. Yes I absolutely believe my worry cycle is related to low self esteem. It helps to talk with others as I am doing here. Thank you again. :)

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