I have taken sick days from work when I feel anxious and depressed. I do sometimes feel guilty when I lie and say it's bad migraine but how do I tell my boss I'm feeling anxious and depressed today and that I can't make it to work today? Most times I need to be away from everyone to clear my head and I'm not sorry for wanting to help my mental health.
Right - It’s easier to just say you don’t feel good. I don’t have a desire to open that can of worms with my boss quite yet of explaining why I need a mental health day.
Those are called “mental health days”. A boss I had back in the early 2000’s encouraged us to take a “sick” day if we needed it. She said sometimes you just need a break. Just don’t use too many of those “breaks” - if you need a lot of them, it might mean there’s a deeper problem that needs to be addressed.
I felt like this today, I managed to get home for just an hour. Not much I know. I think it's a good idea to do just what you want for a day.
It’s okay to take a day and relax. It’s when you start taking days or a week when it becomes a problem in my experience. Just know what work you’ll have to catch up on and be ready to get back into the game.
im doing a essay for english about how schools should let students have days off for mental wellness UwU also there is a chance of a bill being passed in my area that it might happen to.I agree that students need mental wellness days UwU
I did this earlier this year! I got a lot of much needed relaxation. I don't believe anything is wrong with that however, it can get addicting to do this so I would definitely say be careful💕
It isn’t faking. If you need a break to recharge for your health take it. Who decides what sick is? None of their business how you use it.If you are afraid of becoming “addicted “ I wonder if you need to adjust your lifestyle. Do you take daily breaks? How many hours do you work a week. We work too many hours in the us.
I agree we work too many hours. I need a lot of help with the work I do and can only get that help during business hours when people are available. I’m going to discuss with my boss this week that I need days where I’m not in meetings to get actual work done versus piling more on my plate.
" I need days where I’m not in meetings to get actual work done versus piling more on my plate."I have said this!
There is a lot of focus on paltry min wage and awful work conditions which I don't want to diminish but exempt employees also get a bad deal. It started out being a consistent paycheck which was good for employees. Now most people would be horrified if they calculate how much per hour they are "really" paid. There is more awareness but I have been saying for years that "work" needs to be redesigned. All the tech we have... there is no reason to work yourself to death while compromising pay.
I redesigned my own job. Long story short what I did was find a way to manage a pay cut and work 1099. Now I am paid hourly which is a great relationship. There is incentive not to fill hours with busy work and to not over pay. Since I reduced my spending I don't miss the pay and the trade off is more time for myself. In reality I really don't make less. My work feels much more effective. I actually get more done because I am focused appropriately. Right now this is not easy to do but I see that gen z is really starting to demand it.
Yes I did many years ago and ended up getting accused by the line manager of skiving off!
What it was was I had been shouted at by another member of staff and had rung in sick the following day and had said to the line manager I wasn't going to work that day as I wasn't feeling well due to the fact another member of staff had upset me!
On my return I got told off and accused of skiving as according to the line manager me having taken that day off after the upset hadn't been warranted!
In the future don't share the reason. "I am sick today" is enough.
In this case the reason was another staff member. That should be resolved within the team such as being discussed with your manager or confronting the team member in a constructive way. What happened is you "walked away" and the manager was not able to deal with it right away which is the most effective way to handle it. The message is you do not believe the problem can be resolved. That is not really fair to the manager.
It isnt really 'fake' if you are struggling. But yes, it's not worth it if you come back to your job after it and you go through more stress than if you had just worked that day.
I use this logic - is working today going to make my condition worse and lead to worse state where I need more sick leave later? Sometimes 1 now avoids 7 later, sometimes 1 now means you get into a habit of needing that 'escape' more often later. I feel its on what you can cope with (both now and later) and not what others tell you or think...
I think almost everyone has at some time or another. I know I did when my depression was bad. It's not faking though even if you have to lie for it to be acceptable to your employer. Mental health carries a stigma even today so little white lies are fine.
I used to feel terribly guilty if I called in sick and wasn’t actually sick. Then I realized I am entitled to sick days, (mental or physical). Even a day to unwind the stress counts as a “sick day”. Do not tell them why you are taking a sick day. Just say you dont feel well. In the US, the boss is not actually supposed to ask as your health privacy is covered by HIPPA laws. You do not need to reveal any health info, nor should you.
Poodle, as to your comment of being overwhelmed upon your your return, I have a saying for that: “No vacation goes unpunished”. That goes for sick days too. Dont let that stop you. You must take time to de-stress. No, its not addicting, it’s necessary.
Yep, I’ve definitely done that although not for a job because I haven’t had one yet. Did this a LOT in high school and it became a problem cause I didn’t understand yet when this was okay and when it wasn’t and it became a mess lol. I hope the break does you well!! I know we all need one sometimes, regardless of how much we “deserve” it, yknow?
Well I guess you can say I didn't necessarily fake it because the times I did call out I was experiencing extreme anxiety at the time But I did lie about the reason. I would always come up with a excuse to try and keep my Anxiety and Panic attacks on the down low. And it would always leave me feeling guilty 😔
I can’t ever fake it coz my job piles up and no one else can do it, so I work myself to a stupor then end up having to take time of for stress! As I am today of sick with overload, I think in future I will start to take the odd day of for mental health reboot! They should it make it national bank holiday , Mental Health Reboot Day!
Be carefull it's a vicious circle by taking sick you put stress on other colleagues who might be just as bad and might push them to limit also you probably will have to make the hours work up or unpaid leading to financial worry. One lie leads to another and another you need to keep on lying to cover the others it's a bad thing
It’s the guilt. I wish it was ok to warn your coworkers that a day off is needed in advance without having to use the limited PTO given. It would give them a notice and they wouldn’t have to feel overwhelmed with a last minute adjustment. It would be nice to just sleep in, maybe book a spa appointment and just have a self care day without feeling guilty!
Tell them the truth then see how that goes but to tell them a physically ill lie ie vomiting dirreai them book into spa play golf or shopping just wrong i assume you get days off I suffer anxiety stress depression but if don't pay bills don't get deposits for holidays don't accept a job where you can leave others in lurch how would you feel if o took Friday off and you had to puck twice workload I get it at my place and its having others skip breaks work longer and strain other things my opinion but your job but lying is no go
Agree ask for it off the might accommodate it better I know troubles taking time if in a leisure centre if 1 lifeguard or teacher goes sick the dm has to step in then leaves reception short or no one to set up sports hall or cover breaks as a maintenance guy I get pulled onto customer facing tasks more than repairs tasks or jobs fall behind.
Oh yes I can imagine. Those are very good examples where I don’t think I could take on that kind of guilt of taking a last minute “sick day” without truly being sick.
Luckily I have a job where If Im gone, the only person I’m effecting is myself and not my coworkers.
I feel so guilty if I couldn't go in even if it was genuine I would still go and try best If 80 children couldn't have swim lessons leseons or we had to close pool the implications run onto refunds phoning customers wasted journeys and bad publicity on Facebook only things like power cuts emergency or rescues close the place open from 5am to 11pm
I took a half day yesterday My first ten years at this job I never took a sick day. A few years ago I started taking mental health days- "fake" sick days. Work will always be there
Congrats! I love this. I like the idea of mental health days without having to actually use PTO. I’d be glad to give a notice to take a mental health day, but I don’t want people to come up to me constantly asking how I’m feeling. I don’t feel comfortable talking about my emotional health with my boss.
"I have a stressful job where work will pile up, I’ll miss important meetings and I cannot give my work to anyone else to help me out." I feel this is the crux of the problem. If work piles up and you also miss meetings, it's time to talk to your boss about getting some help because if work is "piling up", when you take a day off there will be a worrying amount of extra work when you go back.
Also it is well known that meetings are often much longer than they need to be, and many can simply be replaced by email messages. Sometimes bosses are not aware how much work they are giving out to employees or how long the tasks take.
It does sound as if it's time to take the bull (boss) by the horns and ask for a meeting when you can break down your average daily work schedule to see how and where you can lighten your load. I don't believe any work should be so stressful that you have to take a day off - it only exacerbates the problem. What is it you like about your job?
You nailed it. I have meeting after meetings which keeps me from actually getting anything done. I’d feel guilty missing them, but I could really just use a break. I’m going to talk about having less meetings this week with my boss. But I’d like to just take a day off every once in a while without having to use the little PTO we get each year. The only way that happens is if you take a “sick” day. I won’t screw anyone over if I’m gone.. the pile of work when I get back will get grow.
I like most of my coworkers, the pay and benefits.
Some of the stuff I do I like, some not so much. I’m 7 months in and still feel very new.
So perhaps you are in a learning curve, which can feel overwhelming if your job has lots of different parts to it. If you keep getting interruptions (like meetings, phone calls and people dropping in) it breaks your concentration. Seven months is not long in a job, and I expect it will get easier. I had a job like that once and some days, migraines forced me to take a day off, but having a migraine is not much fun!
Migraines are the worst!! Once those set in it’s impossible to work let alone be productive if you even try to work through it. Did the stress of your job at that time cause them?I used to get migraines when I was in school and had the stress of homework and tests. Now I get one maybe every other year.
I thought they were hangovers when I got them in my twenties, until I got them when I hadn't been drinking! At that time I had a great job teaching and worked quite long hours and did social, musical things in the evenings, so I took on more than my body would have liked. I assumed they were hormone-related, like all the other problems I used to have at the time. Then later when I wasn't up at all hours, I still got the migraines (never had a headache as such) and they continued until about seven years ago when I suddenly realised I hadn't had one for a while. They may have been related to my work; I used to get very tired, which seemed to be the main trigger. Now, I occasionally get a headache. I do get tired, but no migraines. Thank goodness.
I have recently come to realize that while I don’t have as many anxiety attacks, my anxiety manifests in physical form! I get migraines, feel all over lousy, body aches and fatigue! I often take a day just to distress! I do want to look into FMLA but intermittent! That way if I need a day or two I can with out getting in trouble!
Hmmmm! Everything?? Seriously though.. work! I work in a neighboring state(27 miles each way)! The commute is getting to me, some of my co workers (annoying, childish, dramatic) and one of my team leads is micro managing and a control freak! We’ve been very slow so I have been sitting all day doing not much of anything! Too much noise, loud sounds, too many conversations at once, repetitive noises, tight spaces, being over tired, having to squeeze a lot of activities into a short period of time, and crowds. Some days are better than others, but everyday is a struggle for me!
Sounds like mental health days would be necessary to do the things you want and need for yourself. I struggle with anxiety too. I find the more time I have to overthink is when it’s triggered. Working out has helped for me, but not entirely. I hate working out and dread it but the feeling after is great.
I also obsess over a conversation I had where I will regret what I said or wish I actually did say.
I literally did this on Monday. I was off in the am for a routine Dr appt (med check) and when I got home I literally could not concentrate or do anything. My mind was just exhausted. I tried for about an hour, answered emails and then just sent an email to my boss and said I had a headache and that I didn’t think I was going to be productive if I tried to keep working and I wanted the rest of the day as a sick day. I then lounged on the couch and slept on and off until 10 when I went to sleep all night. It felt good and I felt so much better yesterday
Yay for self care! No point in sitting in front of your computer just to say you’re “at work” if you’re not feeling productive. Wish it was easy to be more honest with certain bosses and just say you’re not feeling like working.
Good for you to be honest. I’d like a day off every once in a while to do some self-care and not have to use limited PTO. Sadly you have to use that as a “sick” day and can’t give everyone a heads up.
what is PTO. Does your company not have a system for requesting Annual Leave -or if you work flexitime have a flexi day off- All companies should have some sort of system in place for requesting time off
I find that it doesnt go in your favour to just phone in saying youre ill when you re not Because if you do it regularly then you will be found out by your manager
If you work for an agency whose company is their client -youre working for the agency not the company so its them who are paaying you & if youre off for anay reason thye dont pay you -which is really mean
I completely understand. Unfortunately, I always get caught doing anything bad, so I wouldn't dare try it. But, I would love to take mental health days.
How do they cover you on your days off/vacation time? There has to be someone else that can cover you.
I suffer from pretty bad anxiety and depression along with manic episodes. I wish we had 'mental health' days but we don't where I work. I work in a stressful place where coworkers don't really want to help out or they don't take their job seriously and they let the work pile up for others to do.
I've called out a few times years ago when I didn't drive and friends would sort of hold me hostage (not really just for lack of a better word lol) There was one time that it was a friends birthday and they wanted to go to an amusement park. The parents had bought the tickets already and they wanted me to call out. I was so nervous because i'm not the type to do that but at the same time, how was I going to say no to my friend and parents?
Back to the point though, today i'm having a had time with my anxiety and depression, and I wish I could call out of work but there isn't much coverage where I work.
That’s hard - sometimes when I have alot of anxiety or depression, actually getting up and going to work or somewhere will keep me distracted enough and then I’m glad I didn’t miss work.Now I work remote and not being around people doesn’t really give me that “good distraction”. It sounds like your friends just want to cheer you up. I wish I had friends like that lol.
I have the type of job that no one has to cover for eachother when gone. You just miss important meetings and have a million emails to try to catch up and an endless amount of work which is never a good feeling to come back to. I have to weigh whether or not it’s worth it.
Well, that was for my friends bday not for me lol and we are not friends anymore we had a bit of a falling out nothing very serious just moved on with our lives . I don't have many friends at this stage in life and it's hard, but I do the best I can and when I feel very low I come here for support.
That's strange, there are a lot of variables to consider in any job setting like vacations or sick time. Someone has to do your work if you aren't there, what if you don't work there anymore? Someone else has to be assigned the job that was directed to you.
I'm in the process of thinking about quitting my job, but i'm waiting because I really don't know if it'll be the right decision. I just want a job that is a Monday through friday 9-5 versus a work schedule that is all over the place which is what I have now.
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