How do you come back from giving up?

[CroutonBehavior]

I've stopped looking for a psychiatrist. It's been almost 4 months of non-stop disappointments and rejections so I'm done. It doesn't feel like I have a choice because I've lost the urge to find help. There isn't any reason for me to fight so hard when no one in my life cares about me. I can't even make myself want to come back from it so I don't even know why I'm asking.

But I'm in a pit and I can't make myself try. I don't care about anyone or anything enough anymore. There's nothing in the world that makes me want to fight but I'm always checking. I love my sister the most in the world but the idea of quitting on her doesn't sound so bad anymore. It used to make me hesitate but now I don't.

I should admit myself again but that sounds like the worst thing in the world. They could medicate me temporarily and make me feel like I have some hope. Then I'd come back to the same house without any kind of support system or follow-up care and I'd realize that I don't have any reason to do this all over again.

[gajh]

I just want you to know that I care.

[Desperate4Happiness]

You mentioned admitting yourself again. This might be the best course of action right now. And before returning home yet to set up a better scenario to return to. Does your sister know what you're going through? Is there an in-person support group you can attend several times a week?

[CroutonBehavior in reply to Desperate4Happiness]

I know it's one of the only things I can do but I don't think I will. I can't set up a scenario to return to because everyone in my life communicates really poorly and aren't in touch with their emotions. There's no where I can go and nothing I can do about the people I'm living with. My sister knows what I'm going through but she's a few years younger so I don't expect her to do anything. She isn't supportive either.

I don't know if there's a local support group because I can't leave my house anyway. I'm too anxious and I can't drive. I don't know how public transport works and unless someone physically takes me a few times, I wouldn't be able to get my brain calm enough to try on my own. I know my options and I see it like a giant map but everything is a dead end regardless.

[Desperate4Happiness in reply to CroutonBehavior]

Hopefully you'll find enough support and encouragement here to make some progress. We all deserve to have fuller and happier existences. Don't give up.

[CroutonBehavior in reply to Desperate4Happiness]

i already have

[Nothing_but_books in reply to CroutonBehavior]

Good for you, knowing when enough is enough and you need to back off and recuperate. Leaving something that isn't working is a good idea. It'll let you make choices without dealing with all the crazyness.

I bet if you call 211 you can find some kind of online support in your area if that seams like a good idea. Even ask if there is anywhere local who does offer follow up care to get you going.

Pushing a juvenile out of the nest and not helping it learn to find food? Huh? No. That's messed up.

I changed my mind Ma... 😆

[Artistfriend]

Look for online support groups or a therapist that will see you virtually, they can be anywhere. I would start there. There is help out there

[CroutonBehavior in reply to Artistfriend]

there's no point