Depressed

[Cunda]

I've been married for four years. Weve tried to have babies but all efforts have failed and the worse part is I've realized my wife and I are not really compatible and so we dont even have the same mindset about our infertility problem. We married without dating and this is just killing me. Dont knkw how to manage this issue anymore

[Agora1]

Hi Cunda, maybe this is not the time to bring a child into the world seeing that

you are both not compatible. Things happen for a reason, sometimes being a

blessing in disguise. You don't seem to be on the same page as your wife. Maybe

some therapy in finding out what you both really need at this time might make you

better prepared in starting a family one day. Good Luck to both of you. I wish you well

[Stilltrying_]

Can't agree more with Agora. They have expressed it completely.

[SlothTamer]

A counselor can help guide and mediate both of your concerns. I hope this is an option for you.

[trapis2]

Please don't even think about having a baby in the situation you find yourself in now. Get all that talked out and only if the two of you can settle your differences,should you think about bringing a child into your circle. Children require a lot of scrafices and years of commitment to grow up into healthy , happy adults. Hope you two can do this, have your baby and work together for the well-being of your whole family.

[SirGrits]

Hey Cunda I definitely encourage marital counseling.

Compatibility and marriage is an interesting debate. For my part, I can't say my wife and I are particularly "compatible". We love each other and love is a verb, we give and take for each other. Be quick to forgive and try not to let your fertility frustration get in the way of your relationship. A counselor can help with that.

[Cunda]

Why is no one suggesting divorce

[Hidden in reply to Cunda]

I am suggesting divorce. With no children you have more choices. I couldnt have babies with my first husband and some said, blessing in disguise. I divorced remarried and had children. Just like the song God blessed the broken road, our paths have a purpose. It may not be what we want but it is always what we need.

[SirGrits]

How long have you been married?

Obviously you're frustrated, but divorce may not fix anything. Your compatibility issues may be from issues either one of you are carrying and if you two divorce without getting to the bottom of whatever's going on you'll just carry that baggage into your next relationship.