This week has been stressful, my parents are having a fight ..my brother has a bit of a health scare and my sister is getting surgery next week,, sometimes i feel whenever i get a tiny break from stress it comes back wirse than before like the universe hates me , i had the worst 2 months of my life so far and the moment i started feeling a tiny bit better this all happens , alot of other things are happening that i dont even want to get into , i feel in a way this can be helpful for me to learn to face stress and be stronger but its that i dont feel 100% like im just starting to feel ok and i dont want to risk that, im gonna have to postpone therapy because there are things more important and as always no one supports me or wants me to get help but i still want to , my family are not being supportive and they make fun of things im insecure about thinking its fine such as my stress and anxiety and how i worry easily eventhough i cant control it ..
its just annoying at times and i feel like im 100% of my problems and i want help but no one cares ..im still happy and proud though that its been about a weeek since last panic attack and i feel so relaxed at the time being , i haven't measured my bp since like a week and even last week whenever i measured it it was so low because im not scared of it anymore , im still worried about my migraines with aura , im worried about the next attack since i started getting them more frequently , my family dont even care about that whenever i tell them smth they treat it like a joke, i could be dying and they would think im fine
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Kevin160
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That’s life, my friend... consists of ups and downs. I will tell you about mine whenever you want to hear. Everytime I was doing great in life and I was literally sooooo happy something would happen that would roll my world around and all of the sudden, I was the opposite.
I’m sorry for your family. I’m here if you want to talk about it further.
Why would you postpone your therapy? It only takes an hour of your time, and you have to take care of yourself first in order for you to be capable of taking care of others. If you are in a bad place, then you can’t help your family and can’t be there for them as you would if you were good! You have to be strong and I know the pressure, and the best thing I could do when I was in a situation like you was to seek for help and get therapy
Well, its just that i would have to tell my family and im going to need to go with my sister cuz she knows the doctor for a long time, i dont know that much about it him , and everyone is busy with my sister's surgery next week and my brother is also having a few health issues at the time being so like the priority is never on me apparently but i get that they have things that are more important, so eventually im not sure if they will agree for me to go now or take a raincheck because they dont think i even need it , so its hard to do anything alone especially for me because i dont want to have to do it alone
Sounds like a very difficult and frantic time in your family!
A few thoughts from me:
- I suspect your family cares as you say, but are caught up in other things a bit right now. In any case, you are NOT alone, we care, very much. Don't ever forget that you are not alone
-I recommend you prioritize YOU. You are young, so it would be nice to have more of your family's support, but only you can put YOU first. Your sister will be OK, so will your brother. You don't need to be caretaker for them. Let them know you love and support them but do not neglect your own needs (people with amazing anxiety tend to be great at caretaking and neglecting their own needs. Break that cycle and it will help you so much in life!)
- THERAPY. You already know that I so strongly recommend this. Uber, cab, bus, walk, whatever you have to do- get to that therapy appointment. Some therapists are better than others and from what you said before about this particular therapist, he's good. I think you will get fantastic benefit from a long term commitment to therapy.
- Therapy alone doesn't completely do it for some people. They need resources (like the ones I have on my profile). Those resources support the CBT approach to anxiety/depression recovery, which is the gold standard. They also support self-reliance, confidence-building and a deep, deep understanding of how your mind works. They also support a strong behavioral piece. Many therapists focus only on the cognitive piece. No - Behavior MUST be a part of treatment, and a good therapist will push and challenge you on that piece. Any positive behavioral changes are a huge step forward (ie not checking your BP- that's a positive behavior change- nice job ) Going to therapy and taking care of yourself is also a huge positive behavioral change. There's some avoidance there- yes I understand there are competing priorities with family stuff but it seems there's some avoidance, isn't there? Whether it's avoidance and/or putting others before you, either way, there's a different behavior to practice- taking care of you. Get to therapy and I'll repeat myself- I recommend a commitment to long term therapy. Not forever- but for a good while. This is not overnight stuff. It's taken my daughter 2 years to get where she is at (and some of it was all day, intensive therapy!!") and she's still getting a little therapy and will be for the near future (She's doing GREAT and she's about your age). It's taken me piecemeal, intermittent therapy and lots of reading and behavior change on my own over the course of decades to get where I am. Therapy is not just for anxiety- it's for personal growth and introspection. It's a gift to yourself, and with the right therapist, it can be incredible.
- You will get to a point in therapy where you feel like you know more than the therapist about how to be well. This is an amazing place to be, and IMO this is the point where therapy is no longer needed.
- You can learn to put negative comments from others in the right perspective. You know how some people seem immune to that kind of thing? You will learn why you are not. And then learn how to be. Yes, even negative, hurtful comments from your parents can roll off you like water off a duck. A therapist can help you tremendously with gaining that insight and skill.
- I'll end by repeating myself: You are not alone. We care tremendously! We are rooting for you and here to provide our concern and unending support, Kevin!!
Hey calm mama , thanks for your support, you are right i know im not alone , but its just that my family were not supportive even when they didnt have all these priorities, i just feel they dont realize that there is a problem regardless of all the times i said this and that etc.. anyway there is definitely some avoidance.. not what you think though , i do want therapy but im just concerned about telling my family at this time , they would think im insensitive since they already think im overreacting..im just taking baby steps at first i told them about my problems,now im insisting to get help, i told them i want an appointment but still nothing, i just have alot on my plate and i dont know how to manage everything between my family,my anxiety,school, and alot more
I utterly understand you. I have the same frustration about how anxiety can come back sometimes and be worse than before or it seems like just when you think you have a grip on things it's always something around the corner waiting to knock you back down in the abyss. And for me its like anxiety always tends to come at you from all different angles with something else that feel new all over. I had that "I cant win for losing" frame of mind too. That I just cant catch a break to save my life. And then lately I've also began to fear that I will literally stress myself to death. Just constantly a cycle of things. Every little thing worries me. I haven't been back to therapy in about 5 months now and wasn't eager to go back because it seems like the therapist was really informative enough about anxiety and what it can do to you. I wanted to feel reassured while there about how anxiety can infact do or cause what I'm feeling but it's like I wasnt getting any answers about it so indeed it just kept me constantly worried and questioning my symptoms or was always overthinking or thinking the worst. So that's why I haven't been back to a therapist yet. But I'd still go though in the future I guess just to talk and let out my fears. But then I can just do that myself. So I decided to start a broadcast on YouTube. It basically will be discussing my fears and worries and what anxiety has brought me through. I just wanted to have another platform for people like me who face fears who worry to communicate and share our struggles and to be able to actually see my face see me and feel comfortable and get to know me and that I can get to know others all across the world just like me. I'd like to share my new broadcast endeavor with you. Check it out if you can.
Hi Kevin, I’m sorry it has been such a rough go for you lately. I know you are dependent on your family financially for the therapy. Is there a community clinic you could check out that might have resources for young folks like yourself? Calm mama gave some good advice. So i hope you can find a way to get to therapy. I also think the suggestion of checking out that YouTube channel may be good for someone your age. It wouldn’t have been my first thought, but who knows. Last I’d recommend checking resources at your library. I’ve read so many self help books over the years, and right now am learning about Dr. Claire Weekes (from the 1960s I think) approach to anxiety which is a totally different thought for me. I know you’re young, but you sound very smart and motivated to get yourself to a better place. Feel free to Let me know how it’s going!
Well, its true im dependant financialy so its difficult at the time being, but i still can go i have enough to cover a few sessions, but its mainly the thought of telling them with them understanding it, they just dont support it as much as i hoped , to answer you about the self help, i tried some things such as reading alot of things about anxiety and how to deal, exercise, meditation, breathing techniques etc...it helped but not alot
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..im still happy and proud though that its been about a weeek since last panic attack and i feel so relaxed at the time being , i haven't measured my bp since like a week and even last week whenever i measured it it was so low because im not scared of it anymore , im still worried about my migraines with aura , im worried about the next attack since i started getting them more frequently , my family dont even care about that whenever i tell them smth they treat it like a joke, i could be dying and they would think im fine 
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