I think I am losing...for good.

[ea06rodr]

I just don’t know what else to do anymore. I don’t know where to turn. Life just doesn’t feel worth it anymore. Like, I have seriously been asking what’s the point.

Been back on my anti-anxiety medication for almost 2 months now. But nothing feels like it did the last time I was on it. And life just seems bleek. I have nothing and no one. Shitty job. Shitty life. Shitty everything. Waking up every morning to keep myself going just seems so pointless. Because whats the point? The harder I try, it just gets worse. How can you keep trying to push through when life doesn’t budge, but just pushes back 10x harder too. Even smiling feels strenuous. I just want to give up already.

[Agora1]

Hi ea06rodr, it does take more than anti-anxiety medication to get better. Therapy helps along with medication in working on your feelings and attitude towards life. Depression is certainly playing a big part of how you interpret life and everything around you. Life shouldn't be about pushing to enjoy it or to get through each day. It's about accepting what you've been given in life and doing things to change the things you don't like.

Changing your way of thinking from negative to positive helps but you have to believe there are positive things in your life to live for, to look forward to. Giving up never accomplished anything. In order to go forward you need a little help right now. The right medication can make all the difference as well as (as I've said before) therapy. The two combined will give you some clarity on what path to take in life's journey. You need a goal, you need something to wake up for each day. If you don't have it, then you have to find that something worth living for. Living for yourself is a start. Loving yourself. Please keep using the forum for support from others going through the same mental frustration right now. We learn from each other as well as get strength from each other. You are never alone. The forum is here to comfort and understand each difficult step we take. Stay strong xx

[Hidden]

I think your a winner..listen to yourself, you want something better, striving to be somewhere..just stop pushing and trying too hard..take it easy and focus at the signs life is throwing at you..at the moment life is just telling you you've taken the wrong turn that's all..it is preparing you to be on the track you want be on and the one for you to find your point and not to see things shitty . ..just takes time..look at the turn you did coming on here.. you won't feel alone.. we are in the same boat, we understand..we have each other for support...praise yourself for your efforts, love yourself..forgive yourself..forgive others..separate the shitty stuff in your mind and allow room for the positive changes which will come to you as your mind will be more clear and you will be able focus..your just in a rut and all clogged up..you are strong, smart and progressing..I know you won't give up..it's just life..

[Windy101]

I know that feeling. I've felt that way many times. That's depression talking. You're having symptoms.

One thing that helps me is to set a small task for myself that I know MIGHT make things better. I'm more spiritual than religious. I get joy from nature. Yet sometimes I feel comfort in church. A hike somewhere beautiful, or attending a service, would make me feel good. Do I do this? NO. So, it's number one on my list of self-care.

There are so many small things you can do. I know that right now, none of them seem like they would give you pleasure. Give a few a try. Scrape up some energy from your soul and just do it. My best to you!

[Sprinkle1]

I have read all the reply's and agree with each one of them. You are valuable and as Agora says love yourself. I know the awful thoughts going thru your head, they stink. But please remember it is your brain lying to you, tell it to" Shut Up". Find nice things to do for yourself. Make sure you are on the right med's or the right dose. Join a support group, I just went to one for the first time, it worked wonders for me. Consider therapy, find a therapist who specializes in depression. If you are well enough consider doing some volunteer work. Doing at least one nice thing a day for yourself. Do not push yourself too much, be patient with yourself, we did not get sick overnight, so will not be repaired in one day. Come talk to us here, we are all going thru our suffering and help each other. I send you love, Peace, support and strength. Sprinkle 1

[horizonwatch]

I know exactly how you feel because I have felt the exact same way. But yes, like a previous commenter said, that IS the depression talking. But the answer is not anti-anxiety meds or anti-deptressants, the answer is you living your life in a way that makes you happy. The fact that you have admitted that you don't enjoy your job -- congrats for that! It is GOOD and OK to know and ADMIT that you don't enjoy your job. And don't let anyone (family, friends, etc) try to shame you and tell you that you should just be happy you have a job, and that "you just need an attitude adjustment." BULL. If you're not happy in your job, recognize that because knowing what YOU enjoy and what you like is IMPORTANT. This just means that you should be doing something else. What jobs interest you? What things are fun for you to do? What have other people told you in the past that you are good at? What could you see yourself doing all day for a job that you would enjoy, or at least wouldn't mind doing? Start writing a list of some potential jobs you might enjoy. You don't have to make a job change overnight -- just start doing research, a little bit every day. Reach out to someone who is doing a job you're interested in, you might be able to "shadow" them for a day, or at least they will be happy to share info about the profession and introduce you to contacts. Perhaps it means going back to school -- and it's totally fine to go part-time to school while working. At least you're working towards it and it doesn't matter how slowly you go. Doing little things like this slowly will completely change your outlook and you will see how much power you have to change things and how much control YOU have over your own life. What you enjoy MATTERS -- recognize what activities truly light you up and bring you joy. Being around animals and nature? Studying history? Working on cars? Whatever it is. Doesn't matter what they are - don't try to force yourself to like something you don't. You are your unique self and you were made that way for a reason. Oh, and social media -- minimize or just flat out avoid it, it's a very toxic and VERY distorted view of reality, and it's not real social connection, it's unfulfilling and empty social "connection." There are many studies out about social media's highly toxic effect on mental health. Keep it to a bare minimum or avoid altogether. Hope all of this makes sense and hope it helps!