Panicking this morning

Hi I have terrible panic disorder effecting me daily. My heart aches; from being bullied out of a career, for the humiliation this caused; for the Love I don’t receive, even though I’m very loving and caring I feel it’s unreciprocated. . How does one deal with life when they have combinations of disorders such as mine-anxiety/major depressive, ptsd - concurrent with physical pain, IBS, umbilical hernia (as well as feeling tired all the time from dealing with the mental disorders). Like today I need to drive about an hour and half out of town but I can’t do it. Friends used to help me when I was well, but now that I’ve been rendered severely mentally ill I feel no one wants to avail themselves to help me drive my van to a shop I want to get it to. I’m in so much mental distress that it takes so much energy to get me out of bed, showered and out the door. I’m paranoid of running into people who might treat me mean as I have toxic workplace exacerbated anxiety/major depressive/panic disorders that cripple me. I often sit with a belt in my hand thinking “this pain I’m feeling could be over in less than 5 minutes if I just had the courage to put my life to an end”

[Lindsey14]

Im so sorry you deal with all this

[Hidden in reply to Lindsey14]

Yes thank you for caring and your empathetic response-sounds like you understand what it’s like to feel this way? Are you ok? How is your day so far? I am needing someone to talk to. I’m tired of feeling alone. I feel very isolated even though living in densely populated building/city. We’re all only human. I have been treated so inhumanely here. There is too much hate, and discrimation of people who have mental illness.

[Dnel82]

I know where you're coming from. My anxiety and panic came back with a vengeance 7 days ago and hasn't let up since. I haven't been able to sleep or relax. I feel that I'm at the will of my anxiety and feel I will loose my mind and it'll get out of control.

It truly does make you dislike life because at times it doesn't allow you to live. I think most of us feel this way when we're at our weakest and vulnerable. I think we've all had these destructive contemplating thoughts. I too find myself wanting to give up.

When you put it into perspective what exactly is 'giving up?' Allowing ourselves to be taken by this disorder? Maybe it's time to consider other options. Search for better solutions that best fit us to be as comfortable as possible. We all search for the magic permanent cure or at least hope for it.

You're not alone.

[Iloveart7]

Um sorry you are having such a rough time. I'd encourage you to text the suicide textline at 741741 if you are feeling suicidal. You are not alone! (((Hugs))

[Hidden in reply to Iloveart7]

I know, but have had bad experiences talking to medical professionals-and afraid of being admitted to hospital here. I think why people end up dead from depression and or anxiety is because the pain becomes to hard to bare it -alone. I call suicide hotline seldom as often I talk myself out of it and think that- hey I will die another day, and thus I gues why I’m still here. I’ve had some very inhumane experiences happen to me that have pushed me to the level (a deep dark hole) of depression that I’m trapped in. Just as I’m crawling out of the hole, I’m kicked back down. Tried everything to dig myself out, volunteer to feed prople at a church soup kitchen, volunteer work to feed underprivileged school children, cared for a friend to bring her back to health. I have my dog Toto and provide him with special care and diet (he too suffers some illness) and as I love him and need to keep him around, I treat him well, but nobody in my life wants me as my mental health condition is a burden to them.

[Jisabel]

you are not alone.

[Hidden in reply to Jisabel]

I feel very alone. I can’t seem to get going. I don’t want to travel by myself in my favorite vehicle as I’m too paranoid. Very anxious and depressed.

[Kiltyman]

Life is a precious gift from God. You may not feel it now but you do have the inner strength to go on. We are ALL here to help you in any way we can. So put the belt away and talk to your friends here who are waiting and willing to help. God will provide strength. You just have to ask. Prayers and a comforting hug i send to you.

[Mesatej]

I didnt even bothet to read it all. Because i already felt you in first 4 sentances. Always remember to love yourself as stupid as it sounds . Who tje fuck cares how many times is it that you fail. At least you can think to try. The depression alone tells you how much you realy care. I just wish there would be more people like you.