how to get out of the cycle

[Dadoffour]

I think I’m stuck in an anxious cycle..

this morning was the first time in 3 months without all our kiddos at home!

So essentially I had panic attacks and cried a lot. My wife was very kind and was asking me some questions.

Like what am I worried about.. I didn’t have a great answer. Told her I’m scared it won’t go away and devastated it’s back.

I just did some physical labor outside then went to the gym. Hoping that’ll help.

Guessing the quietness at home might be triggering me? Idk.. just want to be back to my old self

[Dolphin14]

This is tough. Were you worried about you children for some reason?

We all yearn for our old selves back. This is such a rocky road

I will tell you that after years of therapy and struggle I've come out of this a different person and I like who I am. I'm finally free of so many things

Stay strong and continue those things that help you cope

🐬

[Dadoffour in reply to Dolphin14]

Not really worried about them no! I definitely have a lot on my mind with work and what not. When I get back in with my therapist I am going to schedule as often as I can!

I want to be free of this so bad..

[Dolphin14 in reply to Dadoffour]

You can do this. Determination is key and it sounds like you've got it

[catmousefish]

All my kids near me got married, so I went through empty nest syndrome. We have cats and fish tanks to occupy my time. My husband is my last baby I take care of.

[Fedupfemale1]

I think the hardest part of the battle I've found is expecting a reason or rational trigger why to blame it on but I've found when I stopped trying to find an answer or explain I healed quicker and felt less pressure or guilt kind of accepted it let it in instead of pushing it away and I bounced back quicker with less lows also accepting it will affect me for life and there is no cure or thinking it's gone forever during years of no episodes it took the pressure off trying to get better and now I can have multiple bad days or go months or years being ok for no trigger or reason it's okay to struggle if you can ask for help and know your triggers or when to get professional help I do think people believe there is a cure for true anxiety as people claim short term anxiety and then success story of cured for life how ever medical chronic anxiety is never truly cured fully studies show.

[Dadoffour in reply to Fedupfemale1]

I keep hearing about that book, I need to get it!

[MindfulMoment]

As a fellow “mom of 4” hello! I never seem to be able to answer why. It’s what drives me bonkers, it’s what leads to secondary fear to the response I initially feel. I just want to know why why why…. And what comes next. Will I fall over the ledge, what happens when it gets even worse and I already can’t manage. I have come to learn that high anxiety and panic attacks are a fear of panic itself. When my brain can’t find a reason for the fight or flight response it just spins and spins. The only way through is to accept that all the sensations and feelings and fear I feel are simply a chemical discharge. And although they feel absolutely dreadful, they aren’t dangerous but rather neutral. It means nothing. Acknowledging, and accepting these feelings with no further action is what makes them go away. The secondary fear of how we feel is what causes the cycle. For me, reading Dr. Claire Weekes book was life changing for me. I now approach my panic completely different.

[Lamly in reply to MindfulMoment]

It is Dr Claire weeks books that are keeping me going. and you are 100% right the only way out of anxiety is to face up to your fears and see them through, I am finding it particularly tough at the moment as I am weaning off Amitryptiline which I have been on for many years, I am down to 2.05mg one more drop and I will be off, I am having terrible anxiety and pain with my drop down I know I have got to suffer to get off this pill.

[Dadoffour in reply to Lamly]

I’m on Lexapro and busiprone. Not really sure how I feel about it yet.. but I was in a really good spot for months.. ugh

[Dadoffour]

feels so good to hear that, I really feel like this set back is worse then before.. so when you say acknowledge and accept, do I just say that in my mind? Thank you, I’m exhausted, mornings have been so tough lately.

[MindfulMoment in reply to Dadoffour]

Anxiety is a chemical reaction in the brain. And while the sensations are real they aren’t dangerous and require no further thought. What happens is the fight or flight response is tripped and because there is no real threat we desperately begin to try to figure out why. Conjuring up all sorts of catastrophic things and worry. When on reality if we can just let the fight or flight run it’s course it will settle in no time. Mornings are worse because cortisol levels are naturally higher in the morning. Also a primal thing. What I do and what works for me is to remind myself this is a chemical discharge, it isn’t dangerous and I am ok. I don’t fight the feelings, but I also don’t give them attention. Sometimes I say in my head, thanks for the warning shot but I don’t really need that right now, I’m safe. And then I wait for it to pass with no ruminating or catastrophic thought.

[Dadoffour]

Thank you.. will try!

really struggling today.

hot flashes from about 5am-8am.

Think I make them worse by how I react.

[Beevee]

Hi there. Sorry to learn you are struggling. I've been there too.My advice is to read, absorb and follow the teachings of Dr Claire Weekes. I bought Essential Help for Your Nerves and never looked back. It is the A to Z of all fear based disorders and how to overcome them, permanently.

Best wishes!

[Dadoffour in reply to Beevee]

book was delivered yesterday! Read a chapter or so! Already have a few of them moments where I feel the writers in my head.

[Beevee]

It might seem a bit dated in places (think it was first published 50 years ago) but the principles will never age. Face, accept, float past, time (to heal). Learn it like your favourite school subject so the attitude of acceptance becomes second nature then get out there and walk the walk!

Welcome to the road to recovery!

Best wishes

Beevee