I wish people took my illness more se... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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I wish people took my illness more seriously. Put just a little bit more effort.


My friends and family really love me. But I just keep feeling that they still don't put the effort to understand what I am going through. I know depression and anxiety is different for everyone and it is very difficult for people to understand who haven't experienced it.

I have been in a relationship for about 5 months now. The guys is really nice and caring but I keep feeling that he doesn't take my illness seriously. He says the most generic things ever "it will be fine babe", "you should start seeing your therapist", "I don't know what today say." I know he means well, but can you just put in a little more effort to comfort!?

I send him articles on mental illness, even ones like 'how to deal with a loved one suffering from depression and anxiety'. He fucking forgets to read it! I try to discuss, he doesn't know what to say.Not a one time thing. If he doesn't take something like this that forms a major chunk of my life seriously, I shouldn't continue this? Should I?

I might be over reacting but I feel really hurt and neglected. Recently I cut myself a little. A small cut on palm. Just to calm myself down. First time ever (not because of him, I had just had a breakdown). I know self harm is dangerous and am worried about myself. And I really wanted to talk to someone about it, but I can't tell him because I can't predict his reaction at all

6 Replies

Hi paintingwords, Not having the right words to say to us anxiety sufferers is a common fault of the non anxiety person. No matter how much someone may love you, it is near impossible for them to understand the emotional pain we experience. Without them experiencing it themselves, they are at loss of words and empathy which makes us feel like they don't really care. That's not true at all. That's why anxiety is such a lonely disorder. We have all felt this distance with the people around us. That is one of the reasons this support site is so important in sharing with others who really understand where you are coming from.

I'm glad you shared with us. It might be a good thing to set up a therapy appointment just to get a professional's idea in how to handle what could be a serious issue developing. That is "cutting". You don't want that to escalate every time you feel abandoned or frustrated like your boyfriend doesn't care. Stay safe and know that we all care on this site. xx

paintingwords in reply to Agora1

Thanks for listening and responding Agora.

I just feel really lonely, despite having wonderful people around me. And this guy is so nice, I'm afraid I'll be really into him, and he would still not care or understand how much I am struggling.

I feel like I have to prove my pain to my loved ones all the time which makes me feel embarrassed as well. And those articles communicate things I often am too ashamed to speak myself.

This is a really good community. People respond so kindly. Thank you so much for you time.

Agora1 in reply to paintingwords

We are always here for each other in hopes that we won't feel so all alone.

But I understand how difficult that can be at times. xx

Ditto everything that Agora said. I can't talk to my family and friends about my anxiety problem because they haven't experienced it, and so they aren't able to understand even if they want to. They have no frame of reference. This forum is the only place I have to talk about it.

Hi, when you feel alone you sometimes think that if you shout really loud then someone will hear you and come running. But sometimes you can run in the opposite direction and run away from everyone who can help you. You are moving further and further away from the people you love, stay still. Wait for them to catch up and then say to these people "What can I do to make you happy?" When you try to do good things for others then they will do good things for you. You have to give to receive, not with the intention of getting something back, but with the joy of giving. Do something without feeling you are a slave or a martyr, you are you doing something good for other people so that you can feel better. All my best wishes to you.

That's Normal, direct them to this site. It might wake them up?

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