I have a problem...

[cravenell]

Back in April my husband started treating me poorly because he found out that I had an affair. He then turned around and had one. But with his affair...the woman is charging him with rape and kidnapping. This has mad my husband is to someone I do not know. He is very angry! And his and controlling has pushed me away. This last weekend I went out and gave my number out to a guy....my question is why do I keep cheating? And why do I want to stay with him when it treats me like ish...any kind words will help.

[cravenell]

Not to mention my ex got killed on Friday and he was upset I went to show my condolescenes

[Hidden]

Maybe you aren't right for each other, but only you can decide that. Maybe you should both go your separate ways, it sounds like a nightmare.

[cravenell in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Jimmy! It feels like it

[NotToday]

I agree with Jimmy. If you both are toxic for each other, then it would be best to separate. I know that divorce is difficult for some people to do, but your life, health and sanity is worth it.

Wishing you the best.

[faulhallen]

I couldn’t say why you keep cheating because not everyone cheats for the same reason. Personally I’ve only ever cheated in one relationship and that’s a bit of a more long and personal story than I feel like addressing publicly at the time... but I agree with Jimmy that you should probably go your separate ways. It’s possible for two people to love each other and be completely incompatible. Divorce is hard, but you have to make a decision of what’s best for you and if he’s that angry and you keep feeling like you need to cheat, which will only further fuel that anger... then you aren’t really safe there.

I hope all goes well and even though I probably don’t have any advice you can always reach out to me if you need someone to vent to or talk to.

[rach1402]

Talk to your husband honestly without placing blame. Ask him what he wants to do about your marriage and tell him what you want. In my opinion, when things have gone this drastically wrong, it's difficult to come back from but if you're both committed to making a go of it you will probably need to go to couple's counselling.

Having had a broken marriage myself, I can honestly say that it hurts like hell when you first separate but at least you're not stuck in a guessing game and mind games, causing insecurity and bitterness. Once you get over the initial heartbreak you can get on with getting your life back on track after you get out of a toxic relationship and be the person you want to be, instead of the kind of person who cheats on your spouse.

I'm sure neither you nor your husband entered into marriage with the intention of hurting each other and trying to get one up on each other so out of respect for the sanctity of marriage if not each other, break the cycle one way or another. It only takes one of you to do the mature thing and tackle the issue head on, but it will take both of you communicating effectively and working as a team to have any chance of making a success of your marriage.

I wish you both the best of luck with whichever outcome is right for you.

[tlf777]

I am sorry for the loss of your ex, even when it has been a very long time, I know that there can still be a small place in your heart for someone. Did you ask him before you went to the service, or ask him to go with you?

I really think you are onto something here when you are wanting to examine why you want to continue to cheat. I think this may be like slowly peeling back the layers of an onion. Would you be open to doing counseling on your own? Would he be open to doing counseling as a couple?