It's 2am and my mind is racing..

[Findingstrength]

I can't sleep. My mind is racing with thoughts about my pending divorce. (Yes, I want it). I thought I had worked through most of my emotions when we separated 7 years ago..

I actually feel kinda sad about. He left me and his kids for another woman. They're still together, engaged now.

I've had ups and downs with jobs, relationships, yet, here he is getting to live a happy life, with no money worries and no contact with his own kids.. I feel like I don't get to be happy. (Don't get me wrong. My kids make me happy). I'm talking out in the adult world. I deserve to be happy, in love again.. Don't I?? I'm starting to think the answer is No...

Emotional tonight/this morning...

[Hidden]

Never think that the answer is no, of course you deserve to be happy just like we all deserve it.

It might be hard but try to be positive and always believe that it won't always be the way it is now..

I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.

Take care.

[aaronm]

You do deserve to be happy and loved but I understand the anxiety. Its always worse at night. I think trying to let love be whenever the time is right will cause it to come when you least expect it.

[lilred67]

I'm sorry for what you're going through, but you are not alone. I, too, yrs ago went through a divorce and I had alot of the same feelings your having. I felt he was having a "life", while I felt left out of "adult" life for myself. I was left with all the responsibilities, while he carried on. I was single for many yrs and began with depression thinking nobody will ever want me. Nights were the hardest, the mind just doesn't shut off with all the running thoughts. And everyone is sleeping, so I felt more alone cuz I couldn't talk to anyone in middle of the night. I did get help and found I'm not alone. I highly recommend getting counseling. Many yrs later, I did meet a wonderful man; we're both disabled. So we shared a lot in common. Patience is hard, but try to remember this will pass too and better days are ahead. I'm living proof of it. Good luck to you!

[Findingstrength]

Thank-you Lilred67. I am dating someone now that my kids are older. But, it's not like I had hoped. For the past few month's I have been considering breaking it off. Lately, I don't feel like a girlfriend as much as I feel like I'm his 'best buddy'.

With the counseling. I am seeing a therapist. But, my insurance only allows once per month. That just isn't helpful.

Again, thank-you.

[baldmannj]

I would suggest reading a book or twelve in the psychology area. What helped me many years ago (I'm in my late 60s now) was an Albert Ellis book, the father of cognitive behavioral psychology. It's not hard to understand, just hard to do the continuity of remembering and thinking of the ideas. For those who do not like Ellis or stuff, save it for elsewhere, not here. If you want more info, send a message. And I do not sell stuff, just talking.

[Findingstrength in reply to baldmannj]

Thank-you. I'll look it up.