I am having a tough day. I’m coming to terms with losing the love of my life after 5 years. I messed things up and didn’t give him what he deserved. I couldn’t love myself or even like myself so I couldn’t show him how important he was and is. Losing him has been my rock bottom and showed me I have something wrong. I spent years not knowing I suffered from mental illness. It’s no excuse but it ruined my relationship as it made me into a shell of a human and I wasn’t the real me anymore. I started with seeing doctors and have been diagnosed with Persistent Depressive Disorder with major depression bouts as well as mild anxiety. I have come a long way in a month...I’m on meds, I’m in therapy, I understand my illness and actually know it’s there now. I didn’t know before and it took the greatest love of my life away.
Anyway today I am coming to terms with the fact that it’s over. He’s done with me. I am having to move and face this mental illness. The stress is takin it’s toll as I have lost a lot of weight but at the same time my depression is getting better. I’m very strong and I will kick depressions ass.
Sorry to ramble....hard day for me and I guess I needed to know I’m going to be ok 😊
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Tanklove
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I am sorry you are going through this, but at least you now know what is wrong and are getting help for it. I guess him slowly accepting you back into his life now that you are actively tackling the problem is out of the question?
It’s out of the question. The damage is done and I can’t go back and repair it. I will always love him and I know he loves me but he has to do what’s best for himself. The future may hold another chance for us and I truly pray for that day. In the meantime I’m focused on my recovery through this depression and know I’m becoming a better person - I’m becoming the me I once was again and that feels so good. Thank you for reaching out, means a lot as it’s nice when people understand what mental illness does to a person.
Well I wish you the best of luck in your journey back to your true self. I am working on doing the same thing and it is not easy, especially while in a relationship.
I am and it is difficult because we both suffer from mental illness. She is currently in a very dark place. I'll give you the link to my post from a few days ago that will fill you in, if interested. If you can offer any advice, especially since you were on her side of the equation, I would greatly appreciate it. I am also here any time you need to bend an ear, blow off steam, etc. I find that talking to others helps when I feel lost and hopeless....like today.
I read your post. I’m sorry that your dealing with this. I was in her place, I felt terrible inside but I wasn’t aware of why I felt this way. I couldn’t sort through the tangle of mess in my own head to see anything going on around me. I want to think about my advice to you a bit. I promise to write back very soon just want to make sure I say what’s honest and from my heart and not fueled by my hurt and personal pain.
i'm sorry to hear that, i understand what u're going through, i have someone in my life right now and he's dealing with depression so he doesn't talk to me mush and doesn't check on me and all.. i have been through that, actually i'm still strugelling with it but i'm better, i used to lock myself in the room and do nothing but crying and fighting all the thoughts and hate towards myself, i didn't even talked to my bff, i pushed people away but luckely they understood what i have been through and i had them back
for now focus on urself,love urself and fight that depression and anxiety.. there's more happiness in this world that u deserve so keep it up
i know it's not easy but try to keep moving forward.. everytime i look back i see a foggy past because i wasn't moving anywhere in my life so my advice would be "try ur best to keep it going"
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