Today

[Kookie1980]

Are there no good people in the world, you see it in movies; grow up watching them, but it's not real. I spoke up today about a jerk at work and after a discussion with HR and my manager, nothing came from it. Is that the right thing to do? So after work, I went to a dinner and got a little drunk. Now my husband is mad at me and nothing is good. What is wrong with me? Why am I so messed up?

[Worried-help]

I don't think you are messed up. I think you did great standing up to the work bully. More people need the courage you have to speak up about these things.

As far as drinking, you had a stressful day at work. Did you try talking to your husband about it so he can understand more ?

[Kookie1980 in reply to Worried-help]

He just gets really mad when I drink and go out with our him, he knows what's going on.

[Kookie1980 in reply to Worried-help]

I just was so happy at this new job with the culture that was there, this new guy completely lied in the conversation, really defensive!

[Kookie1980 in reply to Worried-help]

What I wonder was it really worth standing up to him? Or will his 'friends' (managers) just go with what he says? I there really HR or is it just who they like more?

[hypercat54 in reply to Kookie1980]

Hi there is nothing wrong with going out and getting a little drunk so why do you think you have a problem? We are all human beings who think and feel and not robots you know!

Well done for standing up to the bully. What did you want HR to do? Have a chat? Discipline him? Even though they might seem to be doing nothing at least they are aware of him now and I bet they will be keeping a close eye on him.

My experience of work is that they don't like people rocking the boat no matter why, and second the person who is least important to them work wise is not the one who suffers. Forgive my cynicism please. x

[Kookie1980 in reply to hypercat54]

Well, that's why I got a little drunk... they seem like they are not doing anything, he flat out lied in defense of the things I brought up. This company is small and everyone hangs out together in my experience that's never a good thing. I feel like this is going to end up being worse for me in the long run.

I don't know if it's me who has the issue after the whole thing talking to HR and my boss it just felt like they were saying I'm too emotional. 😩

I appreciate your comments!

[hypercat54 in reply to Kookie1980]

Don't let it be worse for you. Relax and remember karma will get him in the end coz it always does. x

[RaisingArrowsMama]

In the words of Mr Rogers, "look for the helpers"... It is not that there aren't good people in the world, it is that sometimes it's easier to see the pain and hurt around us. Try to dismiss, sometimes it is better to try to focus on what good we can find, and as for those doing wrong, maybe its best to let it catch up to them in due time. Don't let it bug you so much, and definitely don't let it cause issues in your marriage. Maybe talk to your husband and find a compromise, whatever you do don't let work stuff get in the way of your marriage. Praying you find peace and wisdom on how to move forward!