just a update, Im still coping ok on most days, I am now attempting to do alot of
MEDITATION plus gym sessions and yoga/ I am still having alot of bad days,where I wake with depression and anxiety issues
the main triggers, I my \mothers health, she has dementia and is getting worse, by the week, I still for stupid reasons missing the ex GF, the one whom dumped me 18 months ago, when I needed her most, i know I should forget about her and look forward and concentrate on what's happening now, For some reason my mind just keeps racing back to think about where I was 2-3 years ago,where i was very very happy, I know there are people out there whom have got it far worse than me, I have a job, 2 great kids, I very caring GF,whom has helped me heaps, a roof above my head. howver I still feel very down and unfulfilled
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ScottieStyles
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Nice that you're back and that you can actually share what you're going through. I find this super helpful! Sharing but also knowing you've been heard is very soothing. I hope you find it this way too.
I feel very much proud of you that you do something for you! I can't get as far... I'm bed all day almost every day! I hope you feel proud too! You also see the positiveness of your life. Caring girlfriend can be a very big source of warmth and safety.
I asked recently what do we do to help ourselves. I got wonderful replies, maybe you would like to have a look.
Most important to say is that you're during a very difficult battle. Depression has this power over us to make us feel and think very negative. To make us see only dark colours. To feel cold and alone all the time. This passes with the treatment. Medication helps many people but there is also therapy - and I can tell you that therapy made me get out of depression completely. After just few months of group sessions, I can see now what depression was doing to me, and i can see that the only think left is anxiety, huge fear of doing things, of getting out of my shelf, of expressing myself to the world.
Give yourself a chance to heal and please acknowledge that during this process everythng comes back to you with double force.... Missing your girlfriend, doubting, looking for guilt and reasons... Being angry that this all happens to you. I find it all very common and I would even dare to say - natural.
Thanks for your words of support, you can do it as well, don't lie in bed all day dwelling on shit, make that effort to get up and do some thing, like a walk, or just turn the radio, try bbc radio 6, they play some great tunes, let me know how you are
I’ve actually had a nice day. I came back from a night shift, slept just two hours and went out for a small out of town trip with my friend and her guests from America. It was great to practice English! And the places we visited - aww! What a wonderful golden autumn!
The best is that I’m not even slightly tired, and actually not in the mood to sleep at all.
I feel the anxiety, enormous one, deep inside me, but this time it’s not taking over me, it doesn’t jeopardize my day at all.
Hey ScottieStyles from what I can tell, you are appropriately self aware and are working thru your situation exactly the way you should be. For what it's worth, on this Earth it's hard to find fulfillment thru circumstance. Keep on keeping on brother, you're doing well.
Mine was ok, just a busy day at work, called in to see my 2 teenage kids, as they wanted pocket money from me, then home and Netflix, watch best call Sal and Maniac at the mo. so where about do you live? Im from Robin Hood county, Nottingham.
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