I started Lithium a few days ago and have decided to stop. I was on an incredibly low dose so I’m not too worried about coming off of it but feel so much sadness, anxiety. I don’t know where to turn.
I’m the one, if anyone remembers - no big deal, that had a very good friend cut me out of her life right before she died of cancer and I really have no idea why. I was very good to her. Beforehand, she drug my name through the mud and criticized me to all our mutual friends. She even bashed me to my own brother who told her where to head in. My “friends” went to her side and turned against me. She had cancer on and off for years and I think she thought it precluded her from having to be decent to others sometimes because it put her on a special tier - I can say whatever I want because I have this condition…People were afraid to ever upset her over anything. None of these “mutual friends” have ever given me the benefit of the doubt when it comes to this situation. I hear from no one. I miss them. I didn’t do anything wrong and I did feel very bad for her. I am a caretaker for my parents most of the time. My Dad is 90 and my mom is 87 and she has dementia though not moderate yet. Still it is difficult caring for them and going through this thing in my life. My therapist has advised me not to talk to these people and avoid trying to iron things out. She said, “It’s unfair to you but death trumps everything. They will not be on your side now and likely not even in the future.” I feel very alone and sad. Divorced, no kids, no friends. I would like to hear kind words and encouragement and caring. No pep talks or tough love - pull yourself up by your bootstraps kind of thing or what did you do wrong? Do this, do that. I’d really appreciate kindness, not doing well at all right now. Thank you.
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Jane_5060
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Hi. You have friends on here, and to me this site feels like one big family who I have found are there when you need them. Always some one about to lend an ear and give support. As far as the friends go who you say don't want to know you, well it is their loss not yours!!
Hi Jane, I know the feeling. Both my parents just died after suffering immensely to the end. I did my best to support them financially and emotionally. I have major depressive disorder and panic disorder. Then on top of that, my wife's sister came to live with us three years ago. and my marriage has suffered because of it. My sister in law has told all kinds of unbelievable lies about me and my wife believes them, even when it comes out I did nothing wrong. She accuses me of stealing her money, then she finds it in a place she forgot she put it. She accuses me of going in her room and going through her things. I am hardly ever home, and on everythiing holy I never invade her privacy. But she tells my wife, our friends, and they believe her. But you know what? Stuff is going to happen in life. I do feel lonely at times, but it is not about the quantity of people in your life, but the quality of them. Just remember, it is okay to be selfish. Look after YOU. You are most important.
What’s important to know is that at least you know the truth and God knows. In the end all will be revealed. I’ve been in very similar situations with people and was married to a Narcissistic personality and discarded me when I was starting my severe chronic issues.
Thank you BahamaPirate!! I agree. It’s so hard when people do things like this. I’m so sorry about your parents. That’s incredibly difficult and then your sister in law. Sending you tons of prayers and and YES!! We have to take care of ourselves sometimes too!! Thank you for responding!
Wow 😢. What you describe with your “friend” and her deluded minions is a familiar pattern. Even though I know, I continue to be amazed at how shamelessly some people can lie, and many people believe those lies. I think your therapist’s advice is good. They will have to sort that out in another way that need not involve you. You have your parents to care for. In what ways do you maintain yourself? What kind of help do they have besides you? I hope your parents appreciate you and affirm you, as best as they are able to. Regardless, you have us, including some who have walked a similar road. I was not a physical caregiver, but I spent many hours on the phone with my dad, “helping him with his computer” after my mom died. Even that was a load. There was joy in carrying it, but it was still a load.
Propjock, thanks so much for your kind words! I have a brother who is a little older and he helps out some but he has health issues of his own and a family that doesn’t care to help. My parents really do appreciate me. It’s just that when I was younger I had a life and now I have no life but I do feel good that I am there for them. I’m so glad you were able to help your Dad out with the computer. You will always feel good about it but yeah, when you are in the middle of caretaking, it’s just hard. Thanks so much for being here on the website. It’s a real blessing.
I feel like I have no one to talk to or who wants to talk to me. My Mom's in the hospital and I was at church singing in the choir and only 2 people asked why I was upset.
I was crying off and on the whole entire mass. I'm very depressed and overwhelmed. Feel very lonely to even though I live at home and I have sisters near by. I just can't take it anymore.
True. It seems I have difficulty understanding anything anymore. I have difficulty concentrating, I'm so damn depressed right now. I've lost interest in things I use to enjoy. I'm so scared. Help.
Trust me you aren’t alone and feel the same. Keep the faith, it’s not easy at all. As a fellow Christian we need to stick together and uplift each other. I pray that you seek God through his word. I’m about to go to sleep, but PM me if you’d like to talk. I’ve been suffering tremendously the past 5 years but especially the past 3 years about 1 year in the middle much better. God bless.
Psalm 55
1 Give ear to my prayer, O God,
And do not hide Yourself from my supplication.
2 Attend to me, and hear me;
I am[c] restless in my complaint, and moan noisily,
HealthAnxietyGuy and WinniethePooh12 , we use material from mentalhealthgracealliance.org/ in our church for about five years now. It connects the faith perspective with the good work done by the larger mental health care world. You are not alone. And never forget that “God is near to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” PS 34:18
Hello friend! Just want to let u know you’re not alone in your pain. I sympathize 100 and Altho I know nothing about you I know enough to tell you you’re an amazing individual with a servants heart. It is never ever easy to be shunned and hurts even more to accept other people’s unkind hearts as their absolute best they can be.
It sounds like the group of “friends” you once had is more like a group of folks that just wanted to take from you. I call those people toxic… and those toxic individuals will forever take, it’s in their nature. As an outsider, it seems like once you no longer had anything left to give they were gone. Those aren’t friends sweet girl and they DO NOT DESERVE YOU!
You’re beautiful, smart and strong. Even on the darkest days you shine brighter than they ever will. Remember that.
Hidden- thanks so much for your supportive words!! It is like being shunned! Totally. Once these people found out about my anxiety and depression, thanks to my mean best friend - they started to pull away but I’ve known them forever. I just don’t get it, I didn’t get her either but thanks so much for your help and faith in me. You are so sweet!!❤️🙏💕
I don't feel I can address what you are going through emotionally but wanted to say I understand what it is like having a friend die of cancer and having then upset with you. I had a friend who died way too early in life and he ended up getting mad at me. I apparently overstepped my boundaries with him. It hurt me to realize I did but there was no way to reconcile with him. He was close to death and was in another world having been medicated heavily. It's been years since he died and I no longer feel the intense emotional pain of rejection. I remember him fondly.
I feel you will experience a similar thing, once some time had passed. Until that time, I wish you the ability to build your boundaries a little stronger so that you have time to heal. You'll bring in friends at some point (you already have built friendships which means you can do it again). You might find some of the friendships you have thought you've lost return when the pain of losing an ill person in all of your lives heals.
Now is the time to be as kind to yourself as you can be. It sounds like you need a hug and I'm sure there are people who could give that to you, but there's no reason why you can't hug yourself. Take care.
Kindlee - thank you! My therapist was telling me the same things. They may come back after some time has passed. Yes, I’ve built friendships before which means I can build again. It will just take time. You are right. So sorry you went through this too! I tried to reconcile also with no success. Everyone else was “chosen” and I was pushed aside. But time will pass, it can’t stay like this - right? Thank you so much for your insight and comforting words!! It means so much to me!!❤️❤️ Really.
Aww Jane Big hugs to you my lovely 🫂these people were not true friends to turn on you like this, and you are honestly better off without them! I know it must be hard feeling like you don't have friends, I myself have struggled with this and have never had a best friends or anyone I can trust. The medication is a tricky one, sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.
I myself have recently came off anti depressants after being on them for 5 years.
Try and find something for you, something you enjoy doing, and remember everyday is new, and you never know what's around the corner. Are there any classes you could attend in your area to meet new people? I know this is something I'd struggle with too.
I hope you find peace and find strength Jane, sending you love ❤
Thank you Flossybubble! So grateful for your kind response! Everyone has been great on here. I think I’m going to stick with my Zoloft for now. Lithium scares me a little. Hated the side effects. I have bad side effects with almost everything except Lorazepam and Zoloft. But we will see.Back to the “friends”, no it breaks my heart to say this but you are right, they are not my friends if they treat me this way. I want it so badly not to be true but it’s just what it is. I’ve lost friendships before but under different circumstances, not all bad. Looks like I might be losing another one because she’s getting chummy with the others. It makes me sick! So hard to bounce back. I’ve been looking into new things I could try, but I live in a small town now, much different from how I used to live. Not a lot of options. However, I am finding strength in your words and will try something soon! I know that’s the way to go! Thank you for understanding what it’s like!❤️ Big hug right back to you! Wish we could just go out for a coffee tomorrow - ya know!?❤️ Take care.
Hey, I'm sorry this has happened . I had a problem months ago with a "friend " just drop me. She wouldn't even say why. Yes. I was devastated but I remembered something I was told once. People come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime. Even if we don't know what, we learn something from each. God knows why and His reason is for your good. KNOW there are people who care on here. You can talk, vent, laugh, cry, scream, whatever you need. We will be here, support and understand. I hope it gets better.
Flossybubble - hi! things have been very busy here. My niece is getting married later today. I doubt I’ll know anyone there- very small but it has taken my mind off of last weekend when I was so bad…sad etc.., My brother farms, and right now is harvest season so I was busy helping him too and that lifted me up some. Being out and getting fresh air and physically doing something can be a big boost. My situation with “those other people” has not changed. You know, Facebook is just a vile, mean invention!😢😊😣. They’re on there all the time and that’s where it all started. I get triggered mostly from that. Damn Facebook. 😊😊. Sorry - I’m actually a little better, just had to ramble a bit, blow off steam. You are so kind to check on me! Really makes me feel like I matter💕💕. Thank you! Hope you are well🥰🥰!
It's good you are keeping distracted I'm glad you're doing well. Facebook is horrible I haven't been on there for 8 years and don't miss it one bit.Enjoy the wedding day, who knows, you may just meet someone lovely 😍 xx
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