Completely overwhelmed

I am a 51 year old female with multiple mental health difficulties. I look after and live with my 91 year old father who has cancer and heart failure and I was just about coping. Unfortunately my 34 year old daughter was diagnosed with bone cancer last week and they think it is secondary and has spread from elsewhere, we are currently waiting for results and the wait has been horrendous, I just don't know how I am going to stay strong and be able to look after other people. I seemed to have completely lost my mind and I don't even want to get out of bed now , how am I going to find the strength to carry on . It's not looking good for my daughter who has 2 teenage girls who don't know yet . How do I get through this traumatic experience. Please help

[Hidden]

I hope and wish the best. Hard to curb those emotions that lead into depression and anxiety. Hang in there. Your the backbone. Tackle on one problem after the other. You have other choice. Be strong. 🙏

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks steve your quite right and yes I am the backbone, I have to stay strong. Il try my best

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Impulsive equals anxiety equals anger. You don’t want to be there. You need to be strong. You know it won’t go away. Need to find a way to deal with it

[Hidden]

Oh my goodness thanks very much for your kind words, I don't feel strong but maybe I am and just don't know it . I don't have a therapist and we really don't have any support just yet so my daughter is very lost , I'm really made up with your post , thankyou. There are so many wonderful people out there and you are one of them

[Hidden]

Bless you for looking after your father. It’s so tough being a caregiver. Just keep seeking support from this group and keep talking. It’s one thing you can do for your own self care, which is so needed right now. Prayers for your daughter. 🙏💞

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou very much for your reply. Much appreciated and 33 is my go to lucky number, that in itself gives me a glimmer of hope

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Awww, I love that. Yes, 3 is my fave number. Hugs to you. 🙏🥰

[Hidden]

Hang in there love. Our prayers and positive thoughts will help you through the day. Tomorrow is another day

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for that , your so kind

[TheEmptyNest]

I'm so very sorry to hear what you are going through... and I can totally understand why you would be feeling like you won't be able to handle everything that is going on. I think the first thing that comes to my mind is to be sure to take care of yourself first... you can't pour from an empty pitcher, so be sure to get the support that YOU need so that you can be there for your dad and daughter. Again, I'm so sorry that this is happening. I'll keep you in my prayers!

[Hidden in reply to TheEmptyNest]

Thankyou for your post I really appreciate it

[Hidden]

Oh God, what you're doing has to be really difficult. Get some help for yourself. Don't try to be all things to all people. Take breaks. And take time to practice good self care, like give yourself a nice bubble bath once a week, things like that. You deserve it!!!!!🙂

[FearIsALiar]

I’m very sorry you’re going through a difficult time Debbie. Please reach out to us and keep us updated. We care and want to help 💓 you all will be in my prayers

[AnxM]

Debbie, I’m so sorry about the tremendous challenges you’re facing. Anyone would be overwhelmed. Allow yourself to experience the pain for a short while, knowing that it’s only natural, and that you will be able to let it go as you rise to the challenges. And you will find the strength because of the love you have for and from your family. As others have said, also take care of Yourself, so you will be able to help your loved ones.

Praying for you to have strength and peace and even joy through the hard times.

[Hidden in reply to AnxM]

Thankyou very much for your post . I appreciate it

[texasbonnet]

First, I am sending you my right shoulder to cry on and I will hold onto you and encourage to just "let out." Crying is wonderful medicine good for you and your soul. I am so sorry you are going thru the worst thing a mother can experience---- your child's life is threatened. Just writing that gives me some anxiety. My youngest son's life was threatened by Desert Storm. During that time, I called on every supportive friend I had. I always tried to have more contacts than I thought I might need because I have this theory----if you only have 2 or 3 people to call on and the first person is not available then the other two won't be available either. It's like calling a babysitter and they can't come sit. If the 1st person can't come then no one can come. Let me explain something least I sound like a have list of people simply for the reason of helping me. During this time period, I went through my son being involved in war and my marriage dying. These friends came to me because of one workshop I attended called Emotional Healing. I stayed involved with E.M. by attending weekly group therapy sessions and eventually facilitating during monthly workshops. I survived those years because of my involvement. I had a place to let go of my fears, sadness and my anxiety by letting down my guard and expressing those emotions full tilt. I had friends that encouraged me to have my feelings. It was a safe place to be. I found so many friends. Well, I have gone off in a different direction so back on track.

Just a suggestion, let go of thinking you can continue your normal routine. Your life now is not normal. So what if there are dishes in the sink, let your other family member, if you have some close by, know you will from time to time need help. If you find strength through religion call on your beliefs. Hook up with people affected by cancer thru this website.

I hope you have better days ahead. You are under a heavy, heavy burden. Bless you and keep us informed.

[Hidden in reply to texasbonnet]

Hi thanks very much for your kind words. You have also been through a lot and made it through the other side , you must have an inner strength that has kept you going, god bless you for all the advice that you have given

[texasbonnet]

Thank you. 🤗