How to change the past

[Sky2016]

How do you change the past. Can someone tell me how.

[Tkay93]

Trust me I wish there way away I really do but there’s not. However there is away you can change how you look at the past. But looking forward and reminding yourself that the past is the past and it can’t be changed all you can do is look at the future and make sure the past never happens again. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell myself anyway.

[QuietGreen]

I agree with Tkay93. The only thing we can change is our feelings/perspective about the past. I came across a quote that has brought me comfort. "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."

I hope you are able to find some comfort with what you're feeling.

[Michael8072 in reply to QuietGreen]

Thanks for sharing that quote. As I am stuck in my past and trying to climb out of it but seem to not be going anywhere.

[Hudgins150]

I’ve often asked the same, don’t think you can...can only move forward and try to think of the past as a learning experience and take what you can from it...you past will always be with you but avoiding things that remind you off it might be a good way

[hypercat54]

You can't change the past. You can beat yourself up to a b......y pulp or bash your brains out against the wall but it still wouldn't make an iota of difference to the past. Maybe one day someone will invent a time machine? I guess that would do it.

What you can do is give meaning to the past by acknowledging it and determining that you have learnt from it for the future. Then don't look back but focus your vision outwards towards today and the future. x

[Michael8072 in reply to hypercat54]

I was hoping the delorian from back to the future was real. But it wasn't. Very disappointing.

[Michael8072]

I've been having issues with my past. I wish there was a way to go back and do things differently. But in a way if we did go back and change things we might be altering what our future might be like. Idk if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Some days I feel it more than other days.

I hope we can find a way to focus on the present moment look to the future and try and not let the past affect us.

[gogogirl in reply to Michael8072]

Would you like to mention what was so bad about the past. Anyway, this is the way I think now. If someone did everything perfectly and was a "saint"- that person might be boring!

[Michael8072 in reply to gogogirl]

It's not that it was bad. I will just say that I've let it affect me up to this point. It is something I'm working on. But it's taking time.

[gogogirl in reply to Michael8072]

Good- then this is just me saying this- instead of using words like "learn" and "lesson" like a lot of people use- just say " I am the only one doing this to myself."

[Michael8072 in reply to gogogirl]

Yep I am the one responsible for my actions whether good or bad therefore I am the one doing this to me no one else. For some of it I got to learn to not beat myself up over it and for the other I have to let go.

[gogogirl in reply to Michael8072]

I tell myself that every day also which is why I can relate. When it comes down to it- most people I think unless they are very attached to us like a husband, wife other family members etc- do not really care what we do- it's our life.

[gogogirl in reply to gogogirl]

Hey, I am an oldster, but I cannot go into a time machine.

[gogogirl]

Well, gee in some ways I would like to know that too- anyway- you cannot crawl in a time machine and change- the past is the past- it is over finito- I'll bet you can find some joy in your past also- at least I hope so. The past is part of you- so unless you are a hardened criminal-move on and look back on the good times also.

[Concernedparent23]

I wanted so much to go back in time to before my son attempted suicide so I could someone be a better parent to him and not have him feel this way.

I don’t know what I’d have done differently. I don’t think I’ve been a bad parent but I can’t help feeling I must have missed something for him to get to that point.

It isn’t logical but I felt some momentary despair when Stephen Hawking died - my (flawed) reasoning at that point was that if time travel (in the way that we’re imagining it) were possible then that great man would have been the best hope for making it possible.

I can still sink into that depth of misery, wanting the past to be different so that today is better, but it’s less often now.

The only thing I can control is how I respond to what is happening today .

I got beyond feeling low and crappy and getting nothing done, sometimes I would force myself to do a job anyway, crying the whole time - I redecorated a room like this, sobbing all the way through . But it looked better afterwards and I could see what I’d achieved.

Make a list of a couple of things you want to get done today even if it is “get dressed” , “wash the dishes”, tick them off when you’ve done them.

Congratulate yourself on getting something done despite everything.

My heart goes out to you sky x

[Hidden]

You simply cannot change the past and worrying about it causes depressive feelings. I have to let go of the past and move forward living only in today. Dwelling on the past can become all-consuming with negative thinking. Get rid of the garbage and live in the moment with positivity. Wishing you the best!!