Hey there.
I struggle with thoughts of the past and wishing things were different. Wishing I could go back and change things. I know it's not possible for me to do so but I can't stop wanting to be able to. So badly that some nights it brings me to tears.
Hello
Im in the same place. Wish I could have done a few things different. Not sure what to say except for making new goals and be the best version of you to don't have further regrets.
hi unfortunately there is no magic wand to change the past to make different decisions and maybe do things differently or we would all get one to me the past is gone just a memory live for today and tomorrow not yesterday you will never get they back just have to learn by experience as the saying goes to be old and wise first you have to be young and foolish so don’t be hard on yourself it won’t do you any good good luck gingerbread man 👍
How do I let go of the desire to turn back time?
Hi Mr Nobody, when doubts, wishes or questions come up in how to turn
back time, I would ask myself "Does this really help me?" Of course the answer
is "no". So why waste your energy on negativity. It takes just as much energy
in wanting to go back as in going forward. The difference is one is possible
and one is not. Your choice 
xx
Yes the future is always yet to be written. You just gotta focus on what matters and that’s yourself.
You've got that right Chiefsfan1 xx
that ain’t easy to answer but for me you just have to realise no matter what you do or say the past ain’t gonna change it’s like chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow your never gonna find your just gonna have to draw a line in the sand otherwise your going round in circles just try and move on from it it ain’t gonna happen you just torment yourself in the process which does your mental health no good
You can't change the past so it's useless keep wanting to. What you can do is learn from it and apply it in the future. But you can't do that if your mindset is in the past.
If you live in the past you live with regrets
If you live in the future you live with anxiety
If you live in the present you live with harmony.
My advice is to allow yourself a 'pity party' ie 5 minutes or so a day to regret past events. Then distract yourself and stop your thoughts going there. It's not easy especially at first but you must do this, otherwise you are damaging your future and the present.
The way our brain works is if you think constantly about something it makes deeper grooves in it and the more you will do it. You have to start erasing these grooves so you can turn your mindset to outward rather than inward.
Only then can you live your life in more peace.
This right here. I have struggled so much with this. Still do. Our brains really do reinforce thought patterns the more we engage with them. The trick is finding some way, any way, to distract ourselves and reroute our thoughts. That way we can reinforce different/more positive thoughts.
Our past doesn't define us. Letting go is hard, often nearly impossible. It's better and easier to accept the past and know that it's not who we are. It doesn't define us. We get to do that every day when we wake up in the morning.
OP, know that you're not alone, know that you are not your past and know that you can rise above. Sending peace and strength.
Thank you for your great response Robert. The OP hadn't answered my reply so didn't know whether he had seen it or whether it helped.
It was helpful yes. My apologies for forgetting to respond 🙈
No worries. I was just concerned that you hadn't seen some of your replies. I am glad it was helpful. Take care.
_Mr_Nobody_ I agree with the other responders in that we may not be able
to wish away the pasts but we can and we must learn from those experiences
in life. By putting our energy into more positive things, we can make a better
future for ourselves. xx
no advice but man I feel the same 😞
I know exactly how you are feeling. I suppose many others do too.
Hi, i feelthe same way you do. I wish I could go back in the past amd do things differently. You are doing the best that you can. Please dont be so hard on yourself you deserve to be happy. I , too cry at night. Will say a prayer for you. You are a friend of ours here. You are definitely somebody important and worthwhile. Please remember that. Please take mybuddy, Gigi
I'm trying not be so hard on myself. but it's hard when I'm always suffering the consequences of bad decisions.
I understand and share your feelings, _Mr_Nobody_.
And more than once, I heard the various advice you received here. While perfectly senseful, I never was able to make them mine.
When I am OK, I somewhat forget my regrets or manage to keep my mind busy with something else. But when I am not OK, everything remembers that I was never young, that I didn't have the job I deserved, that I have no friends or "network", that I lack recognition and respect, that I didn't have even remotely the life I could have hoped for. And that is only because of me, because I made the wrong choices, the wrong decisions, and choose the wrong turn at some key moments of my life.
Everybody I see in the street seems to have that magical gift to make the "right" choice when they had to—and now they shine and live a rewarding life. While on my side, I am cursed by the consequences of my "bad" decisions, and I have to live in tears, sadness, and regrets.
As you can see, I understand you. I painfully understand you. You have all my compassion and support. But unfortunately, I don't have a cure to share.
I suspect those other people we see that seem to have it all have actually settled for less. Don't settle for less. That's your personality trait.
I hope we find that inner peace we need to move on from our regrets. If something works for me. I'll share it with you.
🙏
Hello -Mr-Nobody-. Wish I could find some of my older postings on this very thing, I too feel this way a lot. Thinking about the past and wanting so bad to change the way I was.
i m in the same train , may be we can connect with each other, you are very young i am sure you can do it easier and better thanme.
I wish it were easy for me as you think. My mind won't let me rest
i can understand you, i went thru such condition and at least have managed it. may be we can connect in private and benefit from each other experience or at least do emotinal ventialtion
I also have numerous regrets - bad things I did and good things I didn't do. It is too late now, and there is nothing I can do to change it. So, I feel for you. You cannot replace the lost time. But, if you can visualize yourself 20 years from now, what things would you wish you had done today? You always have the rest of your life, no matter how long or short it is. This may not be the best advice, but I think it is worthy of considering. We cannot change the past, the future may not work out, but we do have power change the present, and possibly influence the future for the better. Sending positive energy. 🙏🙏🙏
When I try to think about that far into the future it gives me anxiety because right now I can't see a positive future. I hope that changes
Bless your heart. I am holding you in healing light.🙏🙏🙏
Thanks. Sometimes we don't need someone to tell us it's going to be okay, or even make us feel better. Sometimes we just need someone to support us. Thanks for the support
Do you see a therapist? If you discussed this with a counselor, they might be able to help you find something you can be passionate about - something fulfilling that you might be able to do. That could provide you with some hints regarding the direction you could proceed in if you choose to. You seem like a kind person, and I think you deserve good things.
I started therapy this week. We'll have yet to start. My first session is this Friday. I'll bring it up with her as you suggested. The only passion I have left is for creating art. It's what I channel my feelings into. I wish I could do it for a living but being a professional artist is a hard thing to achieve
What kind of art?
3d renders and digital painting
Sounds cool. How do you feel when you do that? What do you think of the outcome when you complete an artwork?
At some point, I wanted to learn Blender (more the node-based composer than the core 3D modeling part, I must admit) I never really found the courage and motivation. You know, as I said earlier, it all seems so purposeless:/
I'll be curious to see some of your artwork, though.
I actually use blender, it's awesome. Been a hobby of mine for 7 years this year. It gives my life some semblance of "purpose". The compositor isn't that amazing though. I think you'll get better results using something like Photoshop or something like that for still images or davinci resolve for videos.
If you want to see some of my creation's. Here's my Instagram where I post some stuff
instagram.com/nathan_lindoo...
That is quite impressive. The hamburgers texture does not seem quite right (too "shiny"?) But I really like your other compositions. The link appears broken now, so I don't have it under my eyes, but I really liked the pink/rocky landscape and the blue/night view, if I remember it well. Good job!
When I started therapy, I tried to invest myself in a "creative" activity on YouTube:
I somewhat liked it—even if it was torture fighting my shyness and my complexes. Video editing was also painful because I had to see and hear all defects again and again while I tried to make the video watchable. Perfectionism also kicked in, so postproduction took weeks. The reception was not very good, especially mockeries regarding my poor English accent :/ It was a too-tough challenge, not rewarding, and too demanding emotionally—and I gave up, never finished editing video #25
We can't change the past and that is the reality. Keep telling yourself that you can't change the past and see how it goes.
I do that, but it causes me pain knowing that I can't. I'm aware that I can't. I nee to learn how to not let it bother me
Boy, you’re speaking to exactly how I almost constantly feel. It is so hard to overcome these thoughts. We just need a step in a positive direction, some progress from where we are now, and I feel these thoughts will dissipate.
I hope so
Late to the post, but the regret train is real. As others have said, we have to try to live in the day/moment. I am certain everyone in this world has regrets, not just us folks here with anxiety or depression etc. I view life in phases closely correlated to decades. Would I change how I handled my 20s.....OMG, yes. I'm a rape victim several times over during that time and wish I never ever touched alcohol. Twice I've been drugged. I regret my behavior but I have worked through the trauma and realize it's not my fault. I think about my teen years and how horrible I was to my parents. I'm still apologizing non stop. In my 30s I was working a great but hard job and had two little kids and then an eventual third accident baby. This phase has been the hardest. Some times I use reverse psychology on myself when ruminating about the past. For example, we didn't want a third kid. He's here! I can't change that but now I of course don't regret it. Reminding myself of certain regrets that actually turned into something OK helps me a lot. Sometimes prior decisions can be handled by trying to make amends with others....but often our past is a set and we have to decide how to proceed. I tend to spend too much on regret. Having fallen extremely ill......which is likely due to no self care through my 30s and then having bad COVID, I am disabled. I can't change all of the small decisions that led up to this life altering diagnosis. I have to learn to forget what happened and deal with the present as my life depends on it. But yes, it is an enormous struggle!
I completely understand where you are coming from and have the same obsessive thoughts of missed opportunities for friendships or relationships. You’re not alone and it’s not easy to overcome. Try to start again from where you are now and move on. It’s a slow process unfortunately, but it’s possible to find hope and happiness. None of us can change our past, but we can determine our future.
Can relate I wish I could have a do over for many things. But we both know that is not possible. I try to pivot when those thoughts pop up. Hard to do
Can't let go
When to let go? 
How do I let him go? 
trying to let go
