Mom's Boyfriend : My parents are... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Mom's Boyfriend

raesong1017 profile image

My parents are divorced as of a year ago. My mom has a boyfriend and when he is around I can literally feel my blood boiling. My moms attention is zeroed in on him and it's like we might as well not even be there. That and they show so much PDA it's disgusting. They cant detach themselves for more than 2 seconds. They have literally ruined relationships for me like I'm never getting involved in a relationship because of them

24 Replies

I can relate. My parents divorced when I was 14 and supposed to be moving to boarding school. Well then my anxiety kicked in and I ended up dropping out of boarding school to move back home where my mom had already moved on with a new boyfriend (who she may have been having an affair with before the divorce). I hated him so much for years! I would do everything possible to make his life miserable. But now it’s 12 years later and they’re married. He’s actually a great guy. I think in the beginning it’s just important to try to get some alone time with your mom. Go shopping or something with just her. Talk to her one on one. I would also try to tell her how uncomfortable the PDA makes you! That would be so awkward!! Hopefully she’ll listen and take it a step back. Things will get better. Divorce sucks for kids but everyone slowly adjusts.

This is a really good comment.... and take it from someone on the other side of the coin...where an adult child wants to make your life a living hell.... and your having to be put through that...especially when it wasn't what you expected to have to deal with from a grown adult child. I can understand my partners kids being suspicious and protective of their parent at first, but in my case, it's been 7 years now, and this adult child is 30yrs old and still acting like a spoiled teenager. The other two kids and I get along great, we actually like each other. I never have or would do PDA in front of them, and certainly would never come between my partner and their kids... I am totally cool with them hanging out and doing stuff without me... no problem... it's how it should be, and normal.... what's not cool is for an adult child to be so possessive of a parent that they will do anything to try and destroy the relationship the parent wants to have with someone else for their own selfish reasons. That's just sad.

See and that's the thing, I'm always biting my tongue because I would never try to "break them up" so to speak.

it's okay to talk to your mom about how your feeling privately and calmly....you should actually tell her exactly how your feeling. Just remember that she loves you and the love she has for this other person is different and will never diminish how much she loves you....it's understandable your going to feel this way as it is the first knee jerk reaction most kids would have who are close to their parent who is finding new love interests in their life. And certainly the open displays of affection is just not comfortable for you and she really should stop .....it's gross for most kids to see their parents making out or something..... it's just weird for most people to think their parents have this side of them....all of that is understandable....but also it's good to come to some kind of peace around this whole thing....for everyone's sake.

Don’t judge all relationships by your mothers example. Parents are human and make mistakes. It doesn’t mean you need to repeat them. Why spite yourself? Do you think your mom will care if you never have a relationship? It isn’t going to hurt her. My point being why waste energy trying to make her mad while you are missing out on life being miserable holding a grudge? Give it time and let these feelings pass. Live your life and be happy. It’s not worth holding a grudge.

What's PDA? x

yeah....I was wondering what that was too.....

in reply to fauxartist

Haha...I was guilty of PDA with my hubby for the first 8 years of marriage! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

in reply to hypercat54

Public Display of Affection! Love, peace & hugs!!!

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to

Ohhhh!!!.... yeah.... all kids think it's gross when parents make out and stuff.

in reply to fauxartist

Haha... how did they get here????? Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to

the stork brought them..... they grew in the cabbage patch.....

in reply to fauxartist

That's not how mine came, I think I remember, hahaha! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to

..... haaa!!!.... it's like riding a bike... you never really forget.... okay.... I'm gonna stop now....

in reply to fauxartist

Hahaha...Did I get you going??? XXX

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to

your a funny woman...and you always make me laugh..... I am cracking up here because what when you said about not forgetting how they got here.... all I could think of was ....no.... it would be hard not to forget childbirth.....as Carol Burnett described it:

"Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head."

in reply to fauxartist

I'm here to tell you what Carol said was putting it mildly, haha, I know! Keep on laughing & no I have not forgotten the pain even though silly me did it 4 times! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to

did you know that after birth...women supposedly release a hormone that helps them forget the pain..... how could you forget passing a bowling ball.... don't think there would be any natural births if men had to do it...haaaa!!!

in reply to fauxartist

Well that hormone was not released in me, my last 2 were big though! No if men had to do it there would be no babies, hahaha! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

I am sorry your feeling your boundaries have been invaded.....and it is difficult for some adult children when a parent wants to have love in their lives too..... but why shouldn't your mother be able to have a life.... and why would you not want that for her and be happy for her. Unless you were a small child and being deprived of basic parental care, your mom has done her job....she raised you.... now she would like to have a life too. Most loving parents lives stop when kids arrive because it's a 24/7 job....and good parents give up a lot and make many personal sacrifices to make sure their kids have everything they need to have a good life... and then you grow up, and hopefully have enough healthy emotional security to live your life and have your own family. Children in general don't think their parents have their own wants and needs because they are very self revolved around what they want...and at some point....you grow up and realize your parents deserve to have a life too....

in reply to fauxartist

Thank you Faux!!! XXX

I got my kids in the shop - buy get one free! xx

b1b1b1 profile image
b1b1b1 in reply to hypercat54

Are you feeling any better? xx

is there any no-return policy.....just kidding.... kind of.....

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