I'm suffocating at mom's

[Against_the_current]

So this wednesday my roommates drove me mad and i paniced and went back home. I just don't feel happy here. I feel lonely. Suffocating. Bored. Scared about Sister's moods and rage. Scared of oding mom wrong. The mornings sis is sleeping, the evenings mom is. I have nobody to talk to here. I don't have a room. I'm constantly exposed to what's triggering me - mom and sis ' moods. And i'm wondering when to go back to university city. I have lessons. But i forgot my laundry in the washing mashine and i'm scared my roommates will bully me. Also i'm sick.

There's nothing interesting even on tv here and someone is always sleeping. But at my accomodation the tv is in the common room and fi someone comes irun like a cockroach.

I hope i feel so miserable because of the physical sickness. Also mom thinks i better stay home when i'm sick. But i think dad wants me to go back. As If it's not already a hard desision.

[Hidden]

I’m sorry you’re going through so much, it sounds rough. Maybe when you go back to the university you should make an effort to meet some different people and try to make some new friends. Not everybody is out to use you. I know in college it’s important to study, but you need a social life too. Is there any kind of group or club you could join or try out to meet some different people? It doesn’t need to be a sorority or anything like that. Maybe you could do something like help write articles for the student newspaper. Or get involved in some kind of sport you like or would like to be better at. Or something to do with music. Look into some possibilities. And I would advise staying away from people who just want to get drunk and party. And I’m sorry life back at home is so bad. I know you’re going through a lot. Don’t give up. We care about you on here.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your response. I'm kinda satisfied with my uni social life but here, here it's lonely as hell

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

I hear you. We all see all these perfect looking families in television commercials and such, and it hurts to feel like my family isn’t like that. That must be so difficult for you. My family has it’s problems too. I just do not get along with my Dad much of the time. He can be very rude and dismissive. I don’t talk to him very much. My Mom is nicer but she has her moods too. My Mom has bipolar disorder and sometimes she can act very strange at times. She can be confusing. No one out there has a totally perfect family. A lot of people put on this front like they have it together and have perfect lives, but there are lots of emotions that get swept under the rug.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

You understand so good. I see others' families and i feel pain i can't describe, it's so severe. My dad's a dissmissive gaslighter that left and has a baby, my mom's bipolar too and has some weird believes and anger issues. My sister is also worrying me in this situation. Finally someone understands

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

It’s tough that your parents split up. Maybe that’s better than hearing them constantly bickering. I’m sure it’s really affected you.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Yeah. Both. Both are heavy splitting up and bickering at each other. All option hurt

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

I’m so sorry. My parents have some issues too. I’ve learned to not get in between them when they’re arguing with each other. Then they’ll turn and start arguing with me. Their problems don’t have to be my problems.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

My mom's scaring me rn, idk If it's my anxiety or i'm really getting on her nerves. She went to the supermarket, i'm scared she will buy beer

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

Stay away from her. Guess she wants to be an alcoholic. You’re better than her. Maybe it would help to get away from the house for awhile. That’s what I do. Go for a long walk to clear your mind. My Dad just yelled at me. I just put a post of my own on here. I’m going through a difficult time too. Maybe you and I can both run away and live somewhere and be roommates. Yeah I know, just wishful thinking. I happen to live in the USA but my life isn’t so great either.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Ah. I have a place but i left it for a while and i feel bad. And i feel bad hearing she's a..... And sis is a teen. I can't take care of her. I'm sorry you're struggling too