Dealing with anxiety in a relationship

[Americanpi]

Everytime I start getting close to someone I start freaking out because she doesn't respond for a while so I check to see if she's ignoring me and then get real depressed when she is. I know she doesn't need to talk to me 24/7 but it still hurts being ignored and lately I've been checking my phone a lot for no reason. Is there anyway I can stop worrying about getting a message back and is this normal at all?

[Hidden]

I know it's normal now to be worried when someone doesn't respond as quickly as you'd like. But really, just wait on her timing. It's a good sign that she is busy with other things. It shows that she has a healthy balance in life. Can you try to lower your expectations of when she "should" respond? Maybe don't expect a response until tomorrow, then be happily surprised if it is earlier?

[Americanpi in reply to Hidden]

Its not that she's taking too long to respond it is that she is ignoring me that really starts to bother me. I'm really trying to find a way to not worry about it but even when I'm having fun in public I'm still constantly checking my phone to see if she's online and just not wanting to message me back

[amazingiraffe]

I have the same issue with my current boyfriend. I find myself worrying about him not texting back, so I’ll start checking social media to see if he’s online or if he has posted recently. The biggest thing that has helped me is talking to him about it. He understands where I’m coming from and he helps me realize that he’s not leaving me, he’s not talking to another girl, and he’s not ignoring me. This has helped me chill out on my worrying. I also journaled a lot whenever I wasn’t comfortable talking to him about it. I would write all my worries and fears in there, in the moment, and I would even burn the journal entry after the fact. Watching the paper burn up was like physically seeing all my worries and doubts turn to ash.

[Hidden]

Someone who’s really interested will not ignore you. If it were me, I’d start looking for someone else or stop altogether and work on myself first. You’d be surprised how relationships can sneak up on you when you’re busy improving yourself! The choice is yours! But, I would move on!

[Americanpi in reply to Hidden]

Honestly thats what I was just planning on doing as hard as it is. I end up worrying about other people's problems then my own. Me and her were both struggling through some stuff when we first started talking and she told me to talk to her when I started feeling like this but everytime I try to she is to busy playing psn with her friends.

[Hidden in reply to Americanpi]

Move on! If she were truly into you, she wouldn’t be ignoring you. You deserve better and more out of a relationship. It’s a two-way street...both need to be into it! Wishing you the best!